Ice Girl's public thoughts.

Tired but not sleepy.

I have to Monday call and argue with workman's comp I been waiting on orthotics I have needed for almost 2 months because of an injury that happened in April.

I came down with COVID-19 and that caused me to miss some of what little work I can do recently.

My debit card was stolen at a fast food location when I forgot to demand it back and had to deal with that mess with the bank.

Have a Big exam in about 6 days I barely studied for because I have been digging myself out of being behind on school work due to these other issues I listed above.

As if those acute problems weren't enough my dog is slowly dying of old age. She is having trouble controlling her excretion and will sorta be walking over and just randomly poop or pee. Of course I'm not upset at her I took her in at 11 I wasn't expecting a puppy but at 13 I am wondering if she's gonna make 14.

It is always darkest before the dawn as I try to sleep this night is a pretty darn dark one. I'm hurting I'm tired I'm restless. Is it any wonder why I scream in my sleep.

Yesterday my girlfriend literally slapped me awake because I was screaming Oh MY GOD in terror while asleep in a total panic.

When she seemed concerned after she woke me I told her I was being slowly run over by a massive truck - I could feel it crushing my bones. compared my typical nightmares of reliving past trauma getting crushed was a sorta chill change of pace all things considered.

I just screamed so loudly because it was so painful and shocking in the moment and it was an original nightmare for me until she woke me I couldn't tell It wasn't real.