Ice Girl's public thoughts.

My flavor of demisexual 🍦

I don't think demisexuals get enough conversation in the scene or media.

As a demisexual I sometimes find it really hard to relate to people with more typical sexual behaviors.

Finding an actor or some random person who you don't personally know but passed by attractive is so foreign to me I genuinely wonder if people are joking when they say someone turns them on since I physically don't have that at all.

I have told my current girlfriend that it was 8 years between her and the previous time I even had sex because it just wasn't something that crossed my mind.

I used to think I was asexual because of how little I think of sex or am interested in sex. One time my girlfriend asked to see me masturbate thinking it would help if I was more comfortable with having orgasms I tried to explain that isn't an issue at all I just don't find myself attractive and without an emotional moment there is no sparks.

After 2 hours of attempting and getting no where she told me how sad she felt for me and how kinda adorabley pathetic it is.

Since then she tried to get me to read erotica or watch things to I guess help turn me on and the thing that I found odd was I found furry stuff less off putting then people having sexual interactions but it still didn't make me more inclined towards sex.

To me it is sorta simple I just don't have a high sex drive and even though I have come to find my girlfriend attractive it is usually at its peak when we are having emotional intimacy and then my body feels compelled to be physically interacting in a sexual way.

I have little skills at turning it on or setting the mood for her.

In most situations my standard state is sorta peck on the forehead safe for all audience TV movie love.

I know this frustrates my partner and when I explicitly ask her to put down a list of things she would like to attempt to make her more comfortable. I am aware that isn't the most sexy way to be but I have never claimed to be the best at seducing people.

Infact I would argue I have negative rizz and I am good with that. This isn't some ego defensive behavior it is me telling people sex is low on my list of things that matter to me.

Getting in and through med school
Being a good friend and family member to the people I care about
Always improving at my job or tasks
Learning new skills and ideas
Working on my martial arts

This all comes before sexual intimacy I guess that makes me a poor partner.

For that I apologize.