I wonder sometimes if I’m the only one who sits here in this strange in between: loving who I am but missing a piece.
Yesterday I was in a funk. I missed my run that morning and I played the rest of day feeling like I was an hour behind 😉. Finally, I settled the kids in with dinner and decided I was going to squeeze in my run. I decided on a new trail and knew (or thought) I had just enough time to make it back to my car before sunset.
Long story short, I ended my last mile in pitch black! 😳 Instead of reaching my car with that shaky release I crave, I was overcome with sadness. I had made a stupid mistake... it wasn’t intentional, but a mistake all the same. I wasn’t on familiar ground, there wasn’t anyone around for miles and it was dark.....
The difference tonight was that there was no one home to set me right, to remind me that I had been stupid, to even care that I had. I miss that.
I understand seasons. I love them. All of them. Please don’t ask me to choose. I love that they all are interdependent. I love how in their strength, each season eventually submits to the next. An ebb and flow of death and life. I know there are times where nature lies in wait and other times it grows unleashed.
For now... I will lie in wait....
And because the night brings me home.... I found myself submerged in the freezing water around midnight appreciating the silence and seductive call of the moon...
