One footstep at a time...

I lost a small butt plug on Valentines day night. 

I have a drunken memory of hearing it fall to the floor behind my bed.  But didn't retrieve it and pretty soon forgot all about it.

So I've had some pretty bad pelvic pain for the past 2 days and lower back ache not unlike period cramps, I kinda thought the painters must be due in. I havent really been constipated or anything but twice last week I blocked the loo with muckle turds...easily big enough to have contained the offending item! 

I have literally just finished spring cleaning my entire bedroom I have lifted everything, emptied every possible hiding place and the lplug is nowhere to be found.

Shoot me now!

I know I'm gona have to go and get checked ASAP....

I am sick of my life.

I should probably wait until I'm less drunk to post, so pretty please forgive the typos.

So I fucked a friend last week and somehow he's now snoring in my bed.

It was great while he lasted, but I thought we were just getting started...

I am suffering today.

I drank too much last night and jumped into bed with a close friend.

Now in the cold light of day my head hurts, my thighs ache and my belly feels ill!

I need a stiff drink and a Sunday Roast. 

I should probably get my arse out of this bed and sort those things out... 

I do not own 1 single sex toy!

What the eff is going on?

Beside an empty toy box under my bed, I found a thigh sling..

and some other restraints that were bought and discarded..