Waiting

Mr C

Mr C is tender and kind, cool and measured and can always be relied upon.

Mr C is very attentive, knowing when to be firm, harsh even, strict, controlling, playful at times, provocative, exciting and encouraging you to try harder, to redouble your effort, to reshape and refresh your attitude, approach, dedication and submission.

Mr C is a motivational force for you: just the sight of him starts to make you tremble a little, get your brain whirring from a neutral gear into a high performing gear, your blood pressure rises, your pulse starts to race, your pupils dilate, your nipples awaken from a sluggish state into their firm and hard form that indicates your arousal.

Mr C makes you warm, wet and very willing.

Mr C likes to feel your ankles, legs, thighs, your gorgeous bottom, the small of your back, your shoulders, knees, pussy, tummy, nipples, and throat. All done lovingly and with extreme care.

Mr C especially likes your gorgeous bottom and superb legs. Especially those.

Mr C is joined by your Sir on a regular basis and together they form a very strong and commanding presence, something that you enjoy, treasure and respect in equal measure.

You, Sir and Mr C.

The thought of Mr C and Sir together makes your panties come alive.

You adore Mr C, being very careful to respect  him. After all, you wouldn’t want to be punished for not being diligent, would you?

Sir likes Mr C very much, Sir puts a lot of faith in Mr C’s ability to shape and form your submission.

Sir is very happy with Mr C being part of the connection and dynamic, especially when you bring Mr C to sir for his use.

Mr C is Sir’s Number One favourite crop, dedicated to driving your submission and dedication to Sir. You enjoy getting Mr C from the box that Sir uses for his toys and bring him to Sir for your play and punishment. You like delivering Mr C to Sir with him in your mouth.

Mr C is keen to be with you today as you have been disobedient and disrespectful.

The question is, how bad have you been and will Mr C be angry or playful on this occasion?

Time to find out ………………..

That’s not allowed, and you know it.

Yes, you’re right, it’s Saturday but that is no reason to want to wear those comfortable, big, bland panties. That’s not allowed, and you know it.

It is nice to wear jeans, yes, you are quite right. And yes, they look good on you. But I want you in that dress with those shoes. Being petulant and bratty because of that? That’s not allowed, and you know it.

Yes, the pizza does look and smell good, but I have not given you permission to choose that from the menu. Making a decision like that in my presence? That’s not allowed, and you know it.

I love to hear your views and opinions on things, you are a very clever and articulate girl, but challenging me in public about my decisions? That’s not allowed, and you know it.

Sending Sir pictures every day, both as part of a regular routine and when I specifically order them, is an essential part of The Rules. To not send them in the format that I want them? That’s not allowed, and you know it.

Being distracted when I contact you? Not having Sir at the forefront of your focus at all times? That’s not allowed, and you know it.

Wanting to play when I have not given permission to do so? That’s not allowed, and you know it.

Refusing to present yourself for your punishment and not bringing me the paddle? That’s not allowed, and you know it.

Why did you buy that top when you were unsure about whether or not I would like it? That’s not allowed, and you know it.

It’s all about The Rules and following them, especially when we had discussed them and when I had decided on their final format.

Questioning The Rules? That’s not allowed, and you know it.

Going out to Dinner

Your dancing eyes and beautiful complexion are framed by the smoothness and softness of your hair, which I have to fight myself with to stop me from running my fingers through it.

Permanently.

It was a surprise when I gave you your present earlier, a token of Sir’s affection for your diligent and focused attention earlier in the week. Whilst I expect such devotion as a matter of course, part of the dynamic and connection that I had explicitly put down in The Rules, I like to spoil my sub from time to time. You look fantastic in the dark blue matching bra and panties that I had spent a lot of time researching and then buying: only your Sir would know what lay beneath your long flowing dress as we walked along the pavement to the restaurant.

The venue was busy but not overly so and I got us a nice table by the window where we could watch the world go by and do some people-watching, always good fun. This involved, as ever, trying to identify people in the lifestyle and trying then to guess their particular role or preferences. Never an exact science but we might possibly get it right on occasion!

The waiter brought the menu and we both looked at it over a freshly corked bottle of white wine and you then made eye contact as if to ask the question that you knew you had to ask: “Am I allowed to choose my meal or are you to do it for me Sir?” My look told you what you needed to know: that I would choose for you and you would respect my choice.

Selections made we sat back and waited for the food to arrive. I reflected upon how you had dressed to please me and how your attention flitted between assessing the people passing by as part of our little game and focusing upon your Sir.

Just the way it should be, and needs to be. Always.

We chatted and exchanged knowing looks, your hair reflecting the light in the restaurant with me aching to touch it, which I will do later.

The food was good, well-cooked and visually appealing, all of the qualities in a restaurant befitting our presence. We identified a number of possible devotees to the lifestyle as they passed before us on the pavement, chuckling at our diagnosis of the potential Doms, subs, slaves and pets as they passed us by.

Dessert came: I decided that it was time to show you that, although this was a public place, you are Owned and that you should be respectful. I had ordered you ice cream as a treat and then carefully spooned the delicious cold delight onto your spoon and fed it to you. Before each spoonful you were told to ask politely for it with the statement “Please may I have another spoonful, Sir?”

After Dinner coffee was ordered, I had a tea, but I refused you the chocolate treat that came with them.

We left, hand in hand, walking back to home, both of us eager for the intimacy that was to come and the power exchange that signifies our beautiful connection.

The Train Journey

It was one of those, not rainy all-day days, but a day when the grey sky had somehow descended down to the pavement and the drizzle just clung onto the people making their way around the capital, running errands, venturing out to meet important people, fetching Lunch or just idling around with no purpose.

A grey day which shows no sign of the path of the sun: as grey at 8am as it would be at 6pm, the sun not able to penetrate the silver shroud over London.

For us, the grey vista served only to sharpen and emphasise our feelings and connection: similarly all the hustle and bustle of the city barely touched us as we walked confidently from our overnight hotel stop (St Pancras Renaissance) to the tube, a short hop to Victoria Station to catch our train to Brighton.  The famous London Underground was being brought back to life after Covid and had that strange feeling of damp air warmed by the regular trains running along those historic lines.

The Tube was alive with the hum drum of people and movement but we seemed to not notice them.

I decided that we would stand together on the short ride to Victoria Station, making way for other travellers to use the seats in the carriage. This meant that we were at the end of the carriage and holding onto the straps hanging from the ceiling with our bags at our feet. I used my left hand to grip the strap and you used your left hand to grip yours.

 Only 4 stops on the tube and an opportunity for some exciting close contact in public, our bodies pressed together as we swayed in unison, meeting the bends and rises and falls as the carriages make their way along the route. I unzipped your jacket and put my right hand inside, tracing the smooth outline of your body, feeling its warmth as you pressed into me. I could feel the outline of your panties as I ran my hands down the outside of your hip, the trace of the fabric reminding me what I had purchased for you and how good you looked in them.

Passengers came and went in the carriage as we travelled along but we were barely conscious of them, wrapped up in our closeness and connection. I could feel your breath on my cheek as the train rumbled on, your total focus upon your Sir.

London Victoria station appeared as if from the darkness as the tube entered the underground station: time to get up to the platform and find our train to Brighton, hoping that the weather on the south coast would be better than in London, but this was England after all!

Our train had been cancelled. Terrific. The British railway system at its very best.

After waiting for what seemed like ages, tortured by what I knew you were wearing underneath your dress, the announcement that the train was departing from Platform 5 was a bit of a relief. We walked the short distance to the platform only to find that the train was ancient and made up of compartments and not a corridor model: this meant that we would be in a carriage with doors at both sides but no other means of coming into our seating area.

Instantly I could see the possibilities of making the journey that much more memorable.

Moving down the platform we dived into a compartment, eagerly looking forward to our forthcoming night in Brighton at The Grand Hotel. Anxiously I watch the hands on my watch tick away, hoping that nobody else was to enter our compartment so that we can have some “us” time. After what seemed like a proverbial lifetime the train moved off and we were alone, incapable of being disturbed and with the thrill of a moving train to add to the excitement.

I immediately told you to take off your coat and skirt so that I could inspect what was mine, and only mine. Those black panties fitted you snugly and showed your shape and form beautifully as I explored your wetness with my fingers, gently and carefully testing your warmth and wetness which grew quickly as I probed and teased further. I sat back and told you to kneel before me: it was time to make sure that you fully understood your position and role and that your submission to your Sir was to be absolute.

To make sure you understood I put my hands around your throat and squeezed gently and then with a little more pressure as I asked you to confirm your devotion to me. I progressively tightened my grip, not to put you in discomfort but to make sure that your focus was upon just me.

After being satisfied with your response I told you to give me the best blow job you had ever delivered, otherwise the floor on our hotel suite might be a little uncomfortable for sleeping on.  Rising to the task you did not disappoint, varying your technique from light licking and teasing to bobbing your head along my length to deep throating me. You were brilliant, as I expected you to be and as you knew you had to be.

Time for some different attention for my submissive. I quickly undressed you  and using two of my cable ties I attached your wrists to the luggage rack that ran parallel to the seats in the compartment, telling you to stand with your legs about three feet apart. I could now explore and use any part of your body and use my paddle to make sure that your attention was total. Standing behind you I whispered in your ear that you are Owned and that you are my property while I placed my hands around your neck, gently squeezing your throat, causing your mind to latch onto both my words and actions, especially what was about to come.

I explored your wetness and warmth, exploring and enjoying your softness and tenderness, teasing and probing, brushing very lightly against your clit, so that you waited for further contact on that gorgeous spot, but not knowing when it might arrive.

For what seemed a lifetime your exploration continued until I decided it was time for your spanking, which was initially light use of my paddle but then was increased in terms of harshness and speed, alternated with more exploration and teasing. This pattern was alternated regularly resulting in you begging for more attention and permission to come.

Obviously that permission was never going to be given. Nearing Brighton you were told what was expected of you tonight: being the most compliant sub possible, the most attentive and appreciative, thankful and loyal woman a Sir could ever have and that any part of your body was to be made available for my pleasure.

When I untied you I told you to quickly get dressed and to make yourself presentable, ready to walk to the seafront and our hotel, knowing that failure to be that attentive sub would mean more corrective attention for you.

Looking a little flushed, but not as flushed and pink as your bottom, we stepped out onto the platform, both unaware of the great English drizzle.

Waiting

You lay there in silence. The weight of anticipation, desire, fear, excitement and trepidation build up into a fire that will not subside, will not waiver and will not be extinguished until Sir has had his pleasure.

The cold concrete of the passage outside the interrogation room is the one certainty that you can cling onto. If all is silent then you know it is not your time, not your opportunity to give up your secrets, your mission, your objectives and motivation behind your trespass, a trespass into Sir’s feelings, emotions and attention. On the other hand, if you hear the familiar sound of Sir’s brogues on that unforgiving floor, you know that this is VERY MUCH your time.

How long had you been tied to the table? Difficult to measure, there are no sounds that you can latch onto, perhaps only the distant hum of traffic far away in the background. Was it 15 minutes? An hour? Two hours, possibly? The air is heavy with anticipation, excitement, uncertainty and trepidation.

Are you expecting and hoping for just a verbal reprimand for your actions? Or do you want and even savour the pain and control that will come from a variety of tools and toys, all of which are beyond your control and a million miles from your request for pleasure?

Will the flogger be used on your legs and bottom, the flails leaving pink entwined strips on your cool flesh? Sir’s paddle might be a corrective tool of choice, but if so will it be the leather or wooden one?

Small (unlikely), Medium (possibly) or Large (very likely) butt plug? Exciting.

The crop is a likely tool to be used, it’s cool feel belying its potential for generating corrective warmth.

The last time the crop was used it traced the outline of your pussy, with some slight pressure on your glowing and aching bud, ripe and ready to be explored.  Your most sensitive and tender parts of your submission freely available for your Sir to have as he wished, setting a fire that burns progressively more intensely.

All of these memories rekindle the flame that draws you to your Sir.

The sound of those familiar footsteps in the corridor gets progressively louder and very soon the door will open.

Anticipation will be over shortly ……………….

Respect is a two-way street

If I had to explain to someone who had no idea or concept of what the lifestyle was all about it would not be a quick 5 minute conversation. And, if I were to focus upon one key theme that cements the lifestyle it would be built around the concept of respect.

Sure, respect underpins vanilla connections and is a given in that world but the magnitude and quality of respect that is required in our world is simply no comparison.

As a Dom, respect is something that is at the core of my relationship with my sub: it creates certainty and reliability in the dynamic and within all interaction between us, whether as part of a conversation, exchange of views, inspections, scenes and tasks/challenges. In terms of developing my sub, I take great care to push boundaries and explore limits as part of a training regime that encompasses both her personal, professional and submissive growth and development. However, this cannot work without a healthy and continuing dose of respect.

An uncomfortable question (hopefully not!): in your dynamic with your sub, have you taken the time and effort firstly to really ask questions and explore issues around Likes/Dislikes/Maybes followed by further exploration around what will constitute a Hard and a Soft Limit within them? To do so shows, in my opinion, a good level of respect and immediately puts the relationship on a firm footing and brings some certainty into the dynamic.

The design, structure and enforcement of Rules and Routines are an essential part of the link between Dom and sub BUT this only works if both parties respect the views and desires of the other. The Dom should respect his sub by  stretching and developing his sub, but not in such a way that they create a level of distress and anxiety that is destructive to the bond. The sub should then respect what has been agreed upon and mutually negotiated and follow them until any further changes are discussed and implemented. Riding roughshod over the feelings, desires and actual abilities of the sub at this point destroys any growing connection from the earliest stages.

A second uncomfortable question (hopefully not): how obedient is your sub? Putting aside the fact that brattish behaviour is part of a positive dynamic, and most subs will push back and test their Dom, a sub who is regularly and systematically disrespectful is showing clear signs of stress caused in large part by not being involved or consulted in the development of the relationship. Stress can come from lots of different sources including a sub pushing back because the Dom is not doing his job properly. Sort the obedience issues out carefully and systematically right now Doms

A final uncomfortable question (hopefully not): how is trust working in your relationship? Trust and respect are very closely connected in all relationships (the subject of a forthcoming Blog!): if you want exclusivity in your connection, is this guaranteed and delivered by what you are managing and controlling? Do you have any nagging doubts, areas of concern or friction in the dynamic? If so, respect has not been embedded from the start

Getting respect established and progressively built upon is, for me, the cornerstone of a positive, exciting and mutually satisfying Dom/sub relationship.

We should always remember that respect is hard to earn, essential to develop and very hard to regain once lost: do the decent thing and always have this front-and-centre in your approach to all things BDSM.

The Beach.

The sun was setting: it was approaching dusk when we carefully stepped down the stairs onto the beach. Even at that time in the evening the pure white Caribbean sand was still gloriously warm from the sun’s rays which throughout the day had stored up its heat and then gently released a gift of soothing energy between our toes and onto the soles of our feet.

The fading sun sent hypnotic beams that splintered across the waves as they ebbed and flowed in the distance.The only sound breaking the silence was the crash of the waves on the foreshore and the smooth swash and back wash as the waves advanced and receded.

The cove was deserted and tranquil: it was neither overlooked nor exposed. There would be nobody walking on the beach at this time in the evening as the sun worshipers had long departed back to their hotels.

My sub was excited at my suggestion of relaxing on the deserted beach and was dressed in her swimming costume,a very flattering two piece that displays her stunning figure and which always draws my attention.

We held hands as we walked across the beach feeling the sand between our toes. I lead the way down towards where the breakers were making their impact upon the edge of the beach where the calmness of the sand gave way to the gently advancing tide. My sub accepts my leadership as she does throughout our dynamic, shaped and forged through control and communication.

We kissed, lightly at first but then with deeper and more meaningful intent. I ran my fingers through her hair and told her that this would be a special night. We lay on the sand, as I ran my hands across her tummy, gently stroking and enjoying her soft skin with the swash of the waves just touching our feet. 

My sub sat up as instructed so that I could undo her top, releasing he beautiful breasts into my hands, gently teasing, stroking and carefully pinching her hard nipples. Laying back, her skin glistened in the soft fading sunlight as I continued to explore her until she asked me if she could take her bikini bottoms off. That would only be allowed some time in the future as I wanted to build the anticipation ahead of what was to come.In the meantime I want us to say how grateful we both are that we have such a dynamic, built upon trust and openness.

In that moment we were unaware even of the waves and the crashing sound of them smashing onto  the beach

By now the breaking waves are lapping around our calves and it is time for her to get fully naked, which she readily agrees to do as it is my wish. I remove my trunks and she is told to caress me carefully and attentively while I explore her and tease her, feeling her arousal and excitement.

As the waves break around us now, we begin to make love, feeling each part of each other and enjoying the feel of the waves around us, driving us on and driving the rhythm of our excitement. With her legs around me we are deeply connected.

In the heat of the exchange I ordered her to get on all fours so that we could both enjoy the deep feeling of my thrusts and the sensuous feeling of closeness and intimacy as I pulled her hair tightly to make sure that she was focused upon her Sir. I made sure that I paid careful attention to her nipples while she gave herself to me, making them hard and sore to the touch.

I decide that she should now be on top, to which my sub willingly agrees, riding me slowly and carefully at first and then increasing her movements, going hard and deep with her hips, ordering her to play with and tease her nipples as she gets more committed to the inevitable climax that we are both about to experience. When it happens, for us both it is a magical experience and cements the dynamic between us.

We stay there, with the water ebbing and flowing around us, my sub still on top of me but now laying on my chest and me playing with her hair as before. She affirms her submission to me, renews her vows to me to fully follow the Rules as I have written them and to unquestioningly show her obedience both in public and in private.

With the warm water around us we walk into the sea and swim and splash about, getting renewed energy and focus. As the sun goes down we get out of the water, get dressed and head off to the restaurant for an intimate evening meal where, as normal, Sir will select the menu choices for his sub. Then it’s off to bed where a spanking has been decided upon for some cheekiness earlier in the day before a night of entwined sleep.

Hosiery and Control

I set very high standards and expect a lot from my submissive in terms of her service to me, her commitment, dedication and above all, obedience to me. This is understood and accepted as a normal part of our dynamic and something that is the foundation of the strong connection that we have.

A key part of my standards is the way in which her legs are presented to me. I already control and approve on a daily basis her bra and panties and expect high standards of her hosiery, accompanied by pictures sent for my delight and gratification. Only I know their form and design. Thus I have directed and commanded what is not visible to anyone else and this will never change.

She has beautiful legs. They are shapely and smooth. Her calves and thighs are finely shaped and lead to her hips that are delicately formed.

What sets her apart from others is the way in which she uses her hosiery to adorn them. The texture of whatever she is told to wear cannot be underestimated in terms of complimenting her legs. The contrast between the main body of the stocking and the top layer is something only Sir gets to see and is displayed when I command it. Only Sir knows what is above the hemline.

This is all about Control: Control over what she may show in public as approved by me beforehand and what she is told to show me when we are alone together. There is also Control over the position of her legs for my photograph: left leg over right leg, right leg over left leg, leg positioning and legs apart.

Using hosiery in this way makes her feel good, wanted and is an overt display of obedience. Seeking my permission and getting approval for items she has purchased to impress adds spice to the Control I have over her, which includes both hosiery and her underwear.

There can never be enough hosiery, of whatever form and design, to be presented to me for my approval. There are an infinite number of possibilities that it presents for us both and is an important part of our growing dynamic.

What Dominants can get from good Control

Control for Dominants comes in many different forms and is delivered by many different Dominants in many different ways. This is an intensely personal experience and approach. This blog is about my perceptions on the topic. Hopefully some of this will chime with your experiences in whatever your role in the lifestyle.

I enjoy exercising Control. It gives me satisfaction, empowers me to do more in the relationship and progressively and systematically draws my sub into my way of thinking. Control, and its dynamic, secures the link between myself and my submissive and allows her to give more to me as she acquires more insights into my values and what I want her to achieve.

Control is a skill that is permanently evolving, growing and being refined. It is a learning experience that develops so that no matter how confident you feel about it there is always something more to consider. It is never the finished article. Control gives me power and authority over my submissive, but this is intimately interwoven with kindness, consideration, empathy and sympathy to make the bonds very tight, which in turn ensures that Control is delivered and developed.

Control for me is about being Dominant but NOT being domineering, which I would describe as being brash, rude and overbearing – a trap that catches many in the guise of being determined to squash any resistance and/or push-back from the submissive. Good Control is far more subtle than that.

Control gives me the tools to influence her thoughts, patterns of behaviour, desires, needs and hopes so that she is secure and confident in her submission to me. I put huge emphasis on the two pillars that underpin the dynamic: trust and communication. I always try to make my communication as clear and precise as possible on issues that require delivery and obedience from my submissive. I cannot say that I get this right all of the time but because of the level of trust  woven into the connection between myself and my submissive any issues are discussed and reframed after which I decide on the best way forward.

A good measure of Control is how well we talk and share views and opinions. I find out lots of detail from general conversation which I can then use to make the bond tighter, more relevant and more enjoyable for both sides. I am no pushover, I can be demanding and set high standards for my submissive to work towards, ensuring that the level of Control that I want is achieved.

In my view, good Control is built upon three principles, which I work hard to focus upon in all aspects of the dynamic:

1.      Protection and Respect: training and nurturing my sub so that she confirms her position and status as my Control develops.

2.      Understanding: gaining a detailed insight into my sub’s desires, feelings and wants so that she is comfortable in her own identity. This is essential in planning out how Control can be established and developed.

3.      Punishment for poor behaviour: this has to be an integral part of the dynamic but is only to be used fairly, and administered with just cause. It must never be delivered in anger nor should it be the driving force in any relationship.

My sub has huge potential and my Control is a key part of that.

Avoiding Sub Drop and giving excellent Aftercare

Let’s be honest, if vanilla was enough we wouldn’t be here would we? The attraction of such a lifestyle just fails to cut any ice and frankly, it’s like living in limbo, waiting for some excitement to come along. A grey life, with grey expectations.

But then along comes BDSM.

The dynamic of the BDSM lifestyle is a heady one and offers a huge range of possibilities and excitement for all concerned, and that is great. The release of endorphins is almost addictive and let’s be honest, the temptation to get carried away and to really immerse ourselves in the play draws us all in. Subspace is the ultimate Adrenalin rush, apart from bungee jumping!

In the heat of play, probably the very last thing on your mind is almost certainly the very first thing that should be on your mind: how will my submissive feel when this is done and what will she need from me?

The macho, controlling side of being a Dom would just prompt a Dom to move on after the play, possibly either leaving or just separating himself from the aftermath of the feelings and concerns of his submissive. This is a critical time for both parties as it is an opportunity to check on feelings and emotions that have, very recently, been in the extreme as the passion of the play worked its way through.

A key part of my responsibility as a Dom is to care for my sub. For me, this means making sure that she is in a good space, both immediately after play and in the days that follow. It is during these following days that emotions can dip dramatically, insecurity can set in and concerns can emerge that need very careful management and care.

Physical marks and scars can heal. However, the physical exertion of the play can also take its toll, often making itself obvious some days later. Care is needed here and support should be offered by both sides. The often hidden issues around Subdrop are the emotional issues that it raises, typical of which are anxiety, confusion, guilt and shame. The only way of dealing with this effectively is to establish before the actual play itself, the aftercare that will be delivered. This ensures that everyone is clear as to what will happen and what can be expected.

Physical comfort and closeness cannot be underestimated in this. However intense the play, there will always be a need for some good old-fashioned cuddles and comfort, even when you think this need has been met by the closeness from the physical and mental connection of the scene. Warmth, especially shared warmth, accompanied by a caring and calming chat about what has just taken place puts things into context and reassures both parties that yes, the scene was good, but that there is still the need to keep communication going and reassurances flowing.

It is just not enough to exit Stage Left after a quick cuddle and a pat on the head. Contact from you in the hours and days following the play is essential, especially where the play has been particularly intense. Just because your sub says she is OK is no guarantee that she will still be okay later. Be a Gentleman and check up on her and make sure all is well! Forget casual contact.This is about quality contact.  Be prepared to really listen and allow her to express her feelings.

Above all else, make sure that you, as a Dom, deliver positive reinforcement, using kind and supportive language to make sure your sub has pride in herself. Compliment her on what she did well and what that meant to you.This will really help avoid Subdrop and keep the closeness that you have worked together to generate.

Always think about how you would like to be supported if the roles were reversed – Heresy I know, but just think about it!