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Eros and Psyche

3 days ago. Feb 25, 2021, 2:17 AM

Fear. What is it?  I guess the answer to that question is “What type of fear are we talking about?”.  There are different types of fear. There is fear that means reverence such as what is used in the Bible. There are healthy fears that keep us safe such as a fear of being burned by the stove. These are different ways the word is used in a positive manner.  But then there is FEAR. The one that can paralyze you and keep you from moving forward. The one that stops you from your dreams, from your passions. It is the killer.  Fear like this needs to be dealt with as it is a destroyer. 

Have you ever heard someone say “I am afraid” or “I am scared”?  Maybe you have even said those very words?  I know I have heard and said them. So know, you are not alone. It is okay to be scared and afraid sometimes. It puts us on alert. It is what we do at this point that matters. Are we going to keep moving forward with caution or are we going to become paralyzed and not move?  Are we going to retreat to where we know it is safe or push through to the other side to see what awaits?  You see there are 2 sides and it is up to us as individuals to decide what we are going to do. For me, I refuse to live in Fear. That doesn’t mean that this big bad Dom doesn’t get scared or become afraid. I just choose to push through.

Pushing through though is sometimes not an easy thing.  This is where having someone to talk too is important, whether it is a friend or a partner it is good to talk through it to be able to push through.  I know that If my partner tells me they are scared or afraid, I try and listen to see what it is that is scaring them.  I also try and let them know that it is ok and that I am there with them.  I am not perfect by any stretch of the imagination.  I do like to try and "Fix" the situation.  It is part of my nature.  But what I have come to realize is that sometimes all that is need is my partner to know that I am there with them.  And that no matter what, they can count on me.  There are sometimes that you both have the same fear.  It is okay to share that information and tell your partner that you can be scared together.  The main thing is to slow down and listen.  Hearing "I am afraid" or "I am scared" is the same as calling yellow sometimes.  It is time to slow down and take a look at the situation.  The important part though is not to shut down and become paralyzed in the situation.  Once you become paralyzed and shut down, you have let Fear take over your life.  

As a personal experience for me, if you have read any of my other posts, I was in a very toxic relationship.  I was not happy and it caused a lot of stress in my life.  I realized that I was afraid to end it.  There were many factors to this however, I was paralyzed for a time because I was scared of how it would turn out.  I was afraid of the thought of starting over.  I was afraid after 17 years of being alone.  I was in fear.  It was not until I gave myself permission to move forward that I was able to do what I knew was the right thing and end the marriage.  It was the best thing that I ever did.  It was as if a weight was lifted off of me.  If I continued to let the fear paralyze me, I would still be in the relationship and would be miserable, unfulfilled, and shut down.  I would have never had the opportunity to come back to who I really was in the lifestyle.  I would have never met Psyche, an absolutely amazing woman and submissive and partner.  I still get scared sometimes for different reasons but, I know that I can push through and not become paralyzed by those fears.  

There will always be things that will scare us.  That will cause fear.  Those unknown things.  Big and small.  But fear can be conquered, if you push through it.  Fear is nothing but a killer of dreams, passions, happiness, and what could be.  Be strong and give yourself permission to face your fear and overcome. And let those in that are willing to help you overcome.

 

Eros

5 days ago. Feb 23, 2021, 5:56 AM

As I have discussed in my previous posts, there are 3 pillars that are key to a Long Term D/s relationship.  Communication, Trust, and Consent.  I have spoken about Communication and Trust. Now lets talk about Consent.  I know we have all heard about S.S.C. and R.A.C.K.  what I am talking about is a little different.  Lets first look at the definition of consent.

 

Consent

1: compliance in or approval of what is done or proposed by another 
2: agreement as to action or opinion

 

As we can see, Consent means to be in compliance, in approval, in agreement.  We give consent to others on a daily basis. whether it is our partners, boss, family, or friends.  It is easy to see in a D/s relationship where the submissive gives consent to the Dominant to work within certain parameters to bring them pleasure.  They allow them to do those things.  Seems pretty easy when you look at it that way.  But in a Long Term it works a little different.  The type of consent that I am focused on is Self Consent.  This means that we need to agree with our own self to allow ourselves to dive deeper down the rabbit hole so to speak.  We need to allow ourselves to be open to what the possibilities may be.  We have to allow ourselves to be open and honest and transparent to our partners.  As we can see it is not only about giving it to our partners but also giving it to our self at the same time.

It is amazing to see that a lot of people do not recognize how important self consent is in building a LTR.  It is where we give permission to ourselves to be totally open and honest.  In doing so, we can also give ourselves permission to feel.  To be able to let things go that need to be released instead of being held prisoner to the things of your past.  To feel what is going on in the present within your emotions.  These are all things that you need to give yourself consent to do.  If you aren't able to give yourself consent, how can you give consent to your partner?  How are you going to build Communication and Trust if you cannot give yourself consent to be Open and Honest?   If you cannot consent to let the past be the past, you will not be able to consent to your own future.  We can never know what could be our greatest joy if we do not consent to feel the pain of our greatest failures.

Being married for 17 years to a narcissist has taught me that you you can live without self consent but, you will never be anything more than empty vessel because you will never be filled.  It was not until I gave myself permission to find something that would fill me that I made the decision to come back to the lifestyle that I left so long ago.   To remove myself from a toxic relationship where the only thing I did was give yet it was only given back to keep me in my place, to keep giving me that little bit of hope that things would change.    But once a gave myself permission, things changed in my life for the better.  I came back to the life that I had missed.  To my true self.  I had to give myself permission to be myself.  I also had to give myself permission to leave that which was toxic in my life.   I had to give myself permission to love myself for the person I am and not the person others wanted me to be.  I had to give myself permission to feel the fear of starting over after 17 years with the same person.  I had to give myself permission to fight that fear head on so as not to become paralyzed and stuck in a life that was unfulfilling.  I had to give myself consent to again love someone even if I get hurt again.  I had to give myself consent to be loved by someone else in order to be filled.  Even though it could end and I could suffer more hurt, pain, and scars.  I gave myself consent to put myself out there in my truest form to my partner no matter the outcome because it is only then that I can truly learn to communicate and trust her.  

Self Consent is a power within itself that can make or break a partnership.  It is just as important as Trust and Communication and why it is a pillar.  you can not have one without the other.  If you do not give yourself Consent when you are looking for an LTR D/s relationship, then are you really looking for a LTR or are you just playing a game?  This is only an answer that you can give yourself after doing a lot of soul searching as I personally had to do.  But I guarantee, once you find the answer, it will change the way you look at you relationship as well as your role.  So take time and know what are you giving yourself permission for.  What are you giving yourself consent to do, feel, etc...

 

Eros

1 week ago. Feb 17, 2021, 2:32 AM

It is just after 6pm and he patiently sits in his chair, swirling his Southern Comfort on the rocks in his hand. He has been home from work for 2 hours without another person there. In his lap a piece of wood with leather on one side and a nice handle that his fingers are tapping with his other hand. As he sits there in the quietness in his thoughts, he hears the handle of the door turn. As the door opens he looks up to see her walk into the house and their eyes lock. As soon as she looks at him she drops to her knees, puts her forehead on the floor and stretches her arms in front of her with her wrists crossed and palms up. “Master, I am” she starts to say as he cuts her off and asks in a calm yet intimidating tone, “What happened?”.  

You see, he knew that she was going to go out and spend some time with her girlfriends for lunch and a little shopping. She had stated that she would be home before he got home at 4pm. He happily granted her permission and told her to keep him updated. Gave her some spending money and told his Baby Girl to have fun because she deserved it. Yet here it is, after 6pm and she is just getting home. No text. No phone call. Even though he had attempted to text and call her. 2 hours he has been home and she was not there to fulfill her obligations. To meet him at the door in position. To remove his footwear. To make him his after work beverage. To have the nights meal started. Instead, he sat in a chair unable to reach her as the minutes went by. 

She replies to his question, still in the position of forgiveness that he had taught her. Master, we were having such a good time that I lost track of time. When I realized what had happened, I went to call you and my phone had died because I forgot to charge it before I left and I didn’t have my charger with me and I could not find the battery charger you had given me.”  “This one?” he asks as he picks it up  off the table and holds it up. She lifts her head just enough to look and replies “Yes Sir.”   “This one that was left on your dresser still plugged in?” He asks rhetorically. “Yes Sir.” She repeats.  

As she is kneeled, he sets the battery pack down and takes the final sip of his drink and places the empty glass on the table. He then takes the paddle that is in his lap and firmly holds it as he rises and walks over to her. “Rise” he commands. With that she slowly stands up and faces him with her eyes down cast. “Come with me” as he reaches up with his free hand and grabs the hair on the back of her head and guides her down the hall and into their room. “Master.” she starts to say as he stops in front of the spanking bench. “Quiet!  You will not speak unless spoken too.  Now kneel.” He commands. 

She places herself where her knees are supposed to be. Once in position, he pushes her body across the top of the bench. “Do not move.” He tells her.  He then places the paddle on her back and walks over to the drawer where he keeps the restraints. Coming back over she feels him attach a restraint to one ankle and then clipping it into the ring on the bench. And then the other ankle. As he moves to the front of her He grabs her wrist and buckles the restraint in place and then snaps it to the ring on the bench. As he moves to the other side and buckles the restraint on her wrist he asks, ”Do you understand why I am doing this?”  She looks at him and says” Yes Master. It is because you gave me a special permission and I did not honor what I told you I would do.”  “And?” he asks in a calm voice. “And I forgot to make sure that my phone was charged and I had my Battery pack with me I case my phone was going to die Sir.”  “And what have I said about that?” still calm as he moves around behind her. “Master, you told me to always make sure that my phone was charged before leaving the house and to have the battery just in case. So that why if something happens, I would be able to call you you so you wouldn’t worry about your Princess.”  “That is correct.” He says as he reaches around her to undo the button and zipper on the jeans she is wearing. 

Suddenly she feels him pull down her jeans to her bent knees. Then she feels her panties being pulled down as well. She shudders at the thought as he grabs the paddle that was on her back the entire time. “For your dishonor of our agreement, you will receive 5 strikes for each hour you were late and an additional 5 for not having your phone charged and the battery with you. Do you Understand?”  “Yes Sir.” She says with her voice shaking, as she knew what he could do with that paddle.  "You will count them and say Thank you Master after each one.”  “Yes Master” she reluctantly says.  Then she feels the edge of the wood trace across her ass as he then lays it firmly on her left butt check. She knows that he is going to be concise with each hit and can already feel the sting of the wood before the first swat has even happened. 

All of the sudden, Wack!  A shockwave travels up her body and a thousand lightning bolts spread across her ass check. “One. Thank you Master.” She says as the sting of the paddle dissipates slightly. Crack!! The same feeling now on her other ass cheek. “Two. Thank you Master.”  Crack!! This time the sting is more intense as her hands clench and her toes curl. "3. Thank you Master” she says as there is now more of a shakiness in her voice. Crack!! Again on the other side. Her back arches as she her leg rises only to be stopped by the restraint that is around her ankle. "4. Thank you Master.” she says as her voice cracks a little and she starts to whimper. Crack!! This causes the tears to start welling up as she says "5. Thank you Master.”  Crack!!  This is the one. This pushed her over the edge as she lets out a Yelp and the tears start to flow from her eyes as she struggles through the intense stinging sensation to count. "6. Thank you Master.”  Her ass feels like it is on fire and she can feel the blood flowing through it with every beat of her heart. 

Methodically, he continues with an even stroke and brings her to 10. After she says “10. Thank you Master” he stops for a moment. As she is whimpering and her body trembling and wriggling, he walks to where the paddle hangs and places it on its hook. “Now then”. he says, as he is looking at his tools in front of him, “We need to make these last 5 special.  Isn’t that right Baby Girl?”  “Yes Master." she says hesitantly through her whimpering.  And then he spots it.  The new belt that he had just made.  Thick and firm.  He takes it off the hanger and folds it in half and sharply pulls it together cause a loud "SNAP!!" as he watches her body jump.  "5 left Baby Girl." he says as he takes the belt and runs it down the whole of back watching her body react.  He looks at her ass, that is now almost as red as the roses on her dresser.  Studying every inch of her back he pulls his arm back and takes the first swing.  CRACK!!  The entire length of the folded leather goes across both ass cheeks and her body jumps as she lets out a yell.  Struggling she cries out "11. Thank you Master."  Crack!!  Right across the same spot,  "Oh God11" she screams as her body tenses from the hit.  "12.  Thank you Master"  Crack!!  Again the leather wraps the width of her backside and now the welts start to rise.  "13.  Thank you Master."  She gets out through her sobbing as another strike hit its mark.  Crack!!  "14.  Thank you Master."  as she can barely catch her breath from the extreme stinging and throbbing of her ass.  Crack!!!.  The las one.  This sent electricity through her entire being as her eyes gush and her nose drips.  Through quivering lips she says, "15, Thank you Master."  He then asks her in the deep commanding voice that only he has, "Who's are you?"  Her reply rolls of her tongue without hesitation, "I am yours Master."   "What is your Purpose?"   The question rings in her head as her ass feels as if there are a thousand needles being poked in it at the same time.  "To serve and please you Sir." 

 

As she lay there unable to move with the tears still streaming down her face, she feels him loose her day collar from her neck.  She looks up in surprise as he then places the leather training collar around her neck and buckles it in place.  He then grabs he leash and clips it to the D-ring.  As he holds the leash he releases the restraints from the spanking bench and tells her to rise.  Once standing, he kneels down and removes her shoes and then finishes pulling off her jeans and panties leaving them in a pile on the floor.  He then tells her to raise her arms as he removes her blouse and bra, dropping them on her jeans and panties.  Her body weak and trembling from the Discipline she had just received, he leads her into the bathroom where he turns on the water in the sink.  He grabs a wash clothe and puts it under the warm water then rings it out.  He them proceeds to wipe her face taking care to wipe away the tears, as well as the snot that had run from her nose.   After he is finished, he takes her hands and brings them to behind her back and, using the restraints, clips them together.  He then tells her to sit, which she does uncomfortably with how tender her ass is.  Once she is seated, he proceeds to undress himself and turn on the shower.  As she sits and watches, Her Master cleans himself, something that she usually enjoys helping him do.  She watches as he scrubs himself down and then rinses of.  Then turning off the shower, he grabs his towel and drys himself off.  These are all the things that she would normally do with great pleasure but now, could only watch.  The weight off her disrespect growing even heavier.  As he finishes folding his towel and placing it on the rack, he unties her leash and has her rise.  Again leading her back to the bedroom where he unclips her hands and removes the leash.  "Kneel" he says sternly.  As she takes position, he removes her training collar and replaces it again with her day collar.  Her response once he finished "Thank you Master."  To this he looked down at her. "Rise", he stated sharply.  As she struggled a little from her legs still being weak and her ass still throbbing, he grabbed her arm to steady her.  then he walked her over to the bed where he turned down the sheets.  "Now it is time for bed." he said softly.  He helped into the bed and then pulled the covers over her naked body.  He then kissed her on the forehead and said, "Good night My Little One." And turned to start walking out the door.  When she saw this, she asked, "Master, are you not coming to bed?"  He turned and smiled and said "No, Only girls that misbehave go to bed early. Now good night."  Turning, he shut off the light and closed the door leaving her to her thoughts of coming home late.

1 week ago. Feb 15, 2021, 10:04 PM

All I know is with all of my being, I thank God for making a man that knows how to take me where I want to go.  It’s a little insane to be cared for in a way that feels especially designed for me. 

Happy Valentines Day (belated), Eros. 

 

3 weeks ago. Feb 6, 2021, 9:23 PM

He feels her body quiver as he runs his finger tips along the inside of her thigh.  His touch gentle and steady as her soft skin passes under his finger tips.  She raises her hips in anticipation as fingers run the crease where her leg meets her hip. He watches as her breathing increases and she lifts her chin and bites her bottom lip.  Teasing her with his touch, watching every reaction of her body.  Listening to her moans and whimpers with every stroke of his fingers.  Slowly, he traces the top of her panties.  She is helpless to do anything, having her hands and ankles bound to the corners of the bed and her eyes blindfolded.  She is in his completed control.  The only thing she has is her words which at this time she is unable to use because of the intensity of his touch.


Suddenly she feels his touch lift off of her skin and feels his body shift.  In her ear she hears him ask “What are your safe words?”.  Clearly she says “Green, Yellow, and Red”.  “That is my good girl.” she hears him say.  She feels his body shift again and feels the strings on the sides of panties as he unties the bows that are holding them in place.  She lifts her hips in anticipation as they are pulled away from her skin leaving her exposed and totally vulnerable.  She hears him grabbing something from the wall, and her excitement builds as she waits for what comes next.


The next sensation that she feels is like a hundred little fingers run across her bare breasts.  A feeling that she has never felt up to this point.  Her body reacts and she can feel the goosebumps rise across her body.  The sensation continues down her stomach making its way further down.  Suddenly, she feels it brush against her already swollen clit sending a shockwave of electricity through her entire body causing her to twist and squirm.  


As he watches her reaction to the tails of his flogger brushing against her, he prepares himself for what is about to take place.  He studies every inch of her exposed body that lays in front of him.  Calculating every strike before he even starts.  And without notice to her he makes the first strike gently to the top of her thigh carefully continuing a figure eight motion as he allows his tool to do the work.  Each hit, the falls come across the top of her thigh making a thumping sound.  Her body reacting to each hit as he works the top of her legs.


With each passing of the tails, it drives her deeper and deeper into ecstasy.  She can feel each hit send lightning bolts through her entire body making her crave more.  She feels him working up her body from her legs to her abdominal area, each pass of the tails across her skin sending more and more sensations she never imagined that she would feel.  As she is deep into the sensations, she feels the tails slapping against her swollen clit causing her to have an orgasm so strong that her entire body arches as she lets out an uncontrolled scream of pleasure.  Wave after wave as she feels each tap. Her breathing fast and shallow as her body shakes and twitches.  Never in her life has she experienced a pleasure such as this.  


As her body starts to settle, her legs still shaking, she feels his fingers brush across her cheek and the blindfold slide off of her eyes.  As she works to gain composure, she opens her eyes to see him looking at her with a smile.  With his fingers still caressing her cheek, he asks her if she is okay.  As she still struggles to speak she gives a confirming nod that she is as she now finds herself lost in his touch once again.

3 weeks ago. Feb 1, 2021, 8:23 PM

As I said in my Part 1. There are, what I believe to be the 3 Pillars or the Trinity to a LT D/s Relationship. In this post I will cover Trust.

TRUST

Let us first take a look at the definition of Trust.
1a: assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something
b: one in which confidence is placed
2a: dependence on something future or contingent : HOPE
b: reliance on future payment for property (such as merchandise)
3a: a property interest held by one person for the benefit of another
b: a combination of firms or corporations formed by a legal agreement
especially : one that reduces or threatens to reduce competition
4a: CARE, CUSTODY
ex. the child committed to her trust
b(1): a charge or duty imposed in faith or confidence or as a condition of some relationship
(2): something committed or entrusted to one to be used or cared for in the interest of another
c: responsible charge or office

As we can see there are many definitions to the word Trust. When most people talk about trust in a relationship, the use only one or 2 meanings. Trust is much deeper than just the 1 or 2 meanings though! Trust in a relationship is all of these rolled into 1. I could sit here and go trough each one of these and show you how it fits but, this would become exhaustive so I will let you look and determine how these all fit together. (a little self reflection and homework for you)

First in foremost, Trust is not something that is freely given, IT IS EARNED!! I would not expect Psyche to have Trusted me fully when we first met. It takes time to build and earn trust on all aspects. This means that I had to prove my Character to her. Show her that I was Able, that I was some one that she could rely on. Show her that I was Trustworthy. This starts with small things. I starts with Communication with one another. (hmmm another pillar) If I told her that I was going to do something, I did it. I didn't hide things from her that she should know. If I talked the talk I had better walk the walk. There are a lot of fake Dom's and sub's out there. If you have been on here long enough, then you know what I am talking about. And trust is a 2 way street in a relationship. There cannot only be trust on one side of the equation. So it applies to all partners.

Anyone that has lived in this lifestyle for any amount of time and has done scenes knows that you need to be able to "trust" your partner. That they will abide by the agreed upon terms of the scene and that Safe Words are in place, etc... You are placing them in charge or in trust of you or you are in their trust. In the D/s relationship the Dom has been placed in charge of the submissive. In that relationship, this is a daily thing. They need to know that on a daily basis that you will abide by the terms that have agreed upon, that you will not waiver from those responsibilities. This is a basic. This shows your character and you you are. This is where the "fakes" get caught up because of no follow through on this basic part. The day to day responsibilities of the partnership.

There is a dependency aspect where your partner depends on (trusts) you to be there for them, to accomplish tasks, to guide them, etc. So this is still trust as they are depending on you for these things. These dependencies can be emotional, physical, and spiritual. (Mind, Body, and Spirit) When you start talking about this type of trusting, it goes deep. The slightest infraction on this can leave what I call "Soul Wounds" if not dealt with right away. When a person becomes dependent on you they are putting things into your care for you to safeguard. It will be small things at first to see if you are worthy of a deeper trust that involves deeper things. Your responsibility is to protect those things and never use them in a manner that will hurt your partner in anyway. This can burn a bridge that can never be rebuilt in some cases.

Expanding trust can be difficult in some cases, so patience is needed. It may take time for your partner to trust you the same as you trust them. It is ever evolving and growing. Learn what trust really is and work on it day by day. Safeguard it.

Again, I could go on and on about Trust. It is the Chief Cornerstone but, this post would turn in to a book. Do your research on what trust actually is and then reflect. Do real self reflection and do it constantly. Remember that Trust cannot be demanded from a person, it is given with consent. (Another pillar) It needs to be earned just as a Dom earns the submission of their partner. It takes time to build and needs to be nurtured and cared for. If a trust is broken, you need to rectify that situation immediately no matter how small or insignificant you think it may be. Remember that to the person whose trust you have broken, it may mean the World.

-Eros

3 weeks ago. Jan 31, 2021, 11:35 PM

I see a lot of people posting about a lot of different things on how to make a LT D/s relationship work. All of them have their different reasons behind what they have written be it from psychological to personal experience. So here is my thoughts from a laymen's view.

We have all heard of R.A.C.K & S.S.C. so there is no reason to go into these although, we will venture into the C in both of these, just in a different aspect. Here are what I consider to be the 3 Pillars that all else is built upon. The 3 are Communication, Trust, and Consent (C.T.C.). The way I see it, these 3 are the Pillars of any relationship, not just in a D/s relationship or which ever dynamic you prefer. All 3 work in unison with the other and are just as important as the other. The Trinity if you please.  So lets dive in, shall we.

Communication

Communication - Merriam Webster Dictionary defines Communication as follows:

a: a process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs, or behavior also : exchange of information.
b: personal rapport
a: information communicated : information transmitted or conveyed.
b: a verbal or written message.
Communication is perlative between people. It gives others information about us, what we are feeling, what we are doing, how we perceive current situations. It can be done in many different forms, be it verbally and non-verbally. It can be a look, our body position, our facial expression. It can be done with words and the inflections that we give to them when speaking as well as the tone in our voices. These all give information to those that we are speak to.

When talking about communication in our relationships, it is important to be as clear and concise as you can as to leave no room for interpretation. You do not want to leave your partner guessing. I know for myself that I failed Mind Reading 101 and I could interpret something wrong if I am not given all the information or i do not understand what is being communicated. I also know that sometimes it can be hard to convey what it is that you are actually feeling or thinking. Even with that being said, one needs to tell there partner where they are at to the best of their ability so their partner gets it. This may mean explaining it different ways until you know that they understand. I know that I personally had to explain something a few times in different ways until I was sure that the person I was speaking with understood fully what I was saying. I deal with this in my day to day life. I can have a group of people that I say something to and each one will interpret what I said differently, some understanding and some not. Does this mean that my speaking skills are flawed? No it does not. I just means that not everyone understands the way I do and I need to revamp the way that I am giving my information so that they can understand. Even if that means I have to do it a few times in different ways. It is on me to make sure that they understand.

The other part of communication LISTENING. In order for communication to work, there has to be a sender and a receiver of information. Listening to your partner is imperative! Think about it this way. When we are online and we put in a search in Google. we are sending information and Google is listening and returns the information to our computer that is is listening. Now lets say that Google has a problem and we send the information but Google isn't listening. What happens is that we do not get the return information that we are looking for because we are not being heard. This is works the same in a relationship. If our partner is giving us information, it is our responsibility to listen and receive that information so that we can give the appropriate response and let them know that we are hearing them. It is also our responsibility to give them feedback as to what they are saying in order for them to know that we are receiving the information properly and understand what they are trying to convey. It is as simple as saying "Just to make sure I am understanding you...." or if you don't understand "I am not sure I understand what you are trying to get across, can you please re-explain so I can better understand?". This doesn't mean that you are dumb, it just means that the information wasn't given to you in a way that you fully understood it. It also doesn't mean that the person explaining it is dumb either, it just means that they communicate in a different way that you are learning to understand. This all takes time.

For me as a Dom, it is important that I communicate what I am looking for effectively so that my sub understands my direction. If she does not then she will not be able to do what I am looking for. This sometimes means that i need to explain the details. I am also responsible of explaining those details that involve our relationship. I am responsible to let her know how I feel and what is going on in my head. She is my submissive, she gave me her consent and deserves to know. Her consent is a Privilege and a Honor to have. So in order to protect that, it is my duty to keep her informed and to communicate with her about how I feel and what is going on with me physically, mentally, and emotionally. At the same time, it is also important for her to do the same. I want to know what is going on with her so that I can better understand where she is at. I want to know so that I can adjust what I am doing in order to meet her needs with where she is at in that moment. This is not only for the Dynamic, it is also because I care about her. Sometimes it is me giving direction and sometimes it is not. It might be that I just need to LISTEN to her and just be there to let her know that she is safe with me. And sometimes it is me telling her that I am here and I will protect her.

As a Dom, we also go through things. A lot of Dom's feel as if they communicate these things to their sub's that they will be viewed as a weak Dom. Know this though. There is nothing stronger than a Dom that can communicate to his sub when something is going on. It doesn't take strength to hide feelings and struggles. Real strength comes from admitting and talking about them with our partners. It is ok to discuss these things with them. If you ever have a partner that views this as weak, then they have no understanding and are not who you should be with for a relationship. If you ever run into a Dom or a sub that thinks like that, walk away. These are not, in my opinion, true Dom's or sub's. A true Dom is able to admit his weaknesses and a true sub will will lift her Dom up during those times.

Last thing, NEVER, and I mean NEVER, dismiss or devalue what your partner is going through at any time. It may seem like the situation is not that big of a deal or it is insignificant in "The Big Picture" however, this is not the case for your partner. They are the ones going through this right now. And right now this is a huge deal for them. Listen to them. Learn what is causing the situation. Give them the Safe Place to let them get it out. Be there for them and let them process it. Do Not Belittle the situation. Do not tell tell them that their situation is unfounded. Do Not tell them it is in their head. Situations, fears, concerns, and emotions are all valid to the person that is experiencing them. It is you that needs to understand. And know that you don't always have to try and "fix" it. sometimes it is good to just listen so they can get it out.

And if you are the one going through it, talk to your partner about it. Do not keep it from them because if you are with someone that truly cares, they will pickup on it and will ask. It is better to just talk about it and get it out in the open. Do Not get frustrated and irritated if they do not understand at first what you are trying to communicate. Remember to try and communicate as clearly as possible to not leave your partner guessing. Again, if your partner really cares, they will listen.

**As a side note, I have Psyche keeping a journal to write what is going on so that she can get it down in words so I can read it and gain understanding and reflect on it. I have also decided to do the same so that she can read it to understand where I am at on any given day. We do not use these for anything but to know where each other is at so that we can come from underneath on another and help to lift each other up. We will never use it as a weapon, even if we do not like what is being said. We will use it for self reflection and to adapt to each others needs. This may be helpful for those that find it hard to verbally communicate with their partners face to face.

I will Write soon about the remaining Pillars.

Eros

1 month ago. Jan 22, 2021, 7:32 PM

Rain is falling outside. I’m lying in Master’s bed. I can hear him breathing as he sleeps and feel his body heat next to me. I wiggle a little and he reaches out as he dreams and pulls me close. I lie very still, so he can get his last hour of sleep before he wakes for work.


As I lie there, I appreciate how cozy the bed is and how soft my pillows are that he bought for me. I appreciate how safe I feel next to him. I know with certainty that he will wake in time enough to pull me on top of him or to climb on me and give me pleasure to hold on to while he is at work.


As I lie still and my body gets increasingly turned on by his, my mind drifts to a couple of nights ago. I close my eyes tight as I will myself not to squirm around. I remember how mad I had gotten earlier that night and how hard it was to control my mouth. The Daddy side of Master had given me some time to calm down and a firm but gentle warning. I just couldn’t control my emotions, even though I gave it a good attempt.

 

After dinner, he corrected me in the kitchen about forgetting to fold the towel when I was done. I without thinking, said “whatever” and threw him my brattiest glare. I was still so mad about what had happened with a family member a few hours ago, and it just came tumbling out of my mouth. As soon as I saw his eyes begin to change color and the glare he was giving me in return, I fell to my knees with my arms stretched out asking for his forgiveness.

 

After a few minutes of him admiring his view, I could hear the rustling of his belt. He commanded me up and I returned to my feet. In a few seconds, I found myself bent over the kitchen table that I had just wiped down with that damn towel I didn’t put away correctly.

 

My panties were lowered and my t-shirt pulled up, I counted and thanked Master for every strike. When it was done and tears were running down my face and Master was apologized to appropriately, he picked me up and took me to the bathroom. He made me a warm bath with lavender and held me as I whimpered about my backside. He caressed me, after I had gotten used to the hot water and found a comfortable position.


Afterwards, he dried me off and took me to his bed. He bound my legs spread open and restrained my arms behind me. He took out the wand and gave me his most wicked smile. Over and over he brought me to the edge, brought me to whimpering and begging,  and then backed off.  I was pulling at the restraints like a crazed woman and begging for his mercy.  My Master loves me very much and finally gave me permission to have a well earned and very hard orgasm that had me screaming down the house.

 

Later after releasing me from restraints and putting me on his chest to calm down, I was just on the edge of sleep when he told me in my ear to get up. I was confused, but did what he said. I stood quietly while he brought my mat to his side of the bed with a blanket. He told me I wasn’t allowed to sleep with him tonight, because I had been disrespectful. I will never forget the shame I felt, but also the peace that comes from knowing he will not let me get away with not pleasing him. He will always hold me accountable and demand my best. I pleaded with him once while I was lying on the floor next to the bed...his gentle threat was all I needed to calm down, close my eyes and give into unconsciousness.


My Master’s hardness is now pressed against my backside as he holds me tight and this brings my thoughts to the present. I give into the urge to wiggle around against him and his hands start to move across my body and our dance begins once again.