They say pain and pleasure concern the same region of the brain.
Prior to my sexual awakening, I had not experienced or sought to incorporate pain into my fucking, other than some exploration of anal (and I can’t remember the first time I got fucked in the ass or how/why I enjoyed it).
My initiation into BDSM was through a conversation with my friend, soon to be my lover. We knew each other for quite a while in vanilla and our paths met again, seemingly at a point where we were ready to transcend to great sexual and spiritual heights. The conversation was about his discovery and journey in BDSM as well as his interpretation of the concepts. My mind is my pleasure zone – I get off on intelligence and chemistry, so I was done for. My cunt, which was previously dormant – a product of boredom and frustration in vanilla relationships – now ached with excitement. I was invited to the bedroom, and by that stage experiencing all of what he described was my only option. A few basic protocols were established and I was ready to submit, to trust, whole-heartedly. I cannot honestly say what made me trust so quickly and easily: Intuition? Nature? Excitement? Our existing relationship?
Trust and confidence in my friend, my lover, have been organic; we understood/understand independence and responsibility of self and were/are so wary of vanilla relationship pitfalls.
I had no idea about BDSM really; I had just given up and accepted the boredom of vanilla sex. Of course, it wasn’t all boring and I had experienced some alternate avenues in fucking – FFM, anal, roleplay. But it was all still so narrow. And boredom, conventional routine, sameness is my greatest fear.
I cannot remember the sequence of events but I think He wrapped me in rope, probably a harness, and went to work on my body – touching, toys, voice, tone, sensory deprivation. The process of being bound in rope, the sensations and the mindstate (complete calmness) was comforting – my body drops and time disappears. I find rope to be so peaceful; [our aim is to get to full suspension].
He, and I think this was the first night as well, introduced me to impact play with the necessary tools and communication, and we quite rapidly plummeted down that hole. (Breaking in a newbie must be pretty daunting!) Well, then I discovered how pain bring me to new, lofty heights – literally! Transcendence/subspace. I became addicted to sensation as each instrument and rhythm brought new sensation. The anticipation of waiting for the next blow, and then the release. The impacts and then the absence, or ghost, of pain sends me on a wave of sensation. Everything is acutely felt and received by my body and mind; this takes me to the meditative state where everything melts away and time disappears. Subspace – to be revisited in another post.
Pain and pleasure combined are perfectly harmonious.
Release – I was craving release from my tightly bound box. I want to feel deeply, explore possibilities and escape confinement.
The psychology…
The mental is everything in: BDSM, fucking, life, nature, science