Pain is cruel.
It demands our full attention, hijacks our emotions, and convinces us that it will last forever. When you’re in the thick of it, nothing else exists but the ache. It consumes you, and no amount of pretending or distracting can truly make it disappear. But no matter how sharp, how unbearable, how unrelenting it may seem—pain is temporary.
I realized this after watching a TikTok of a little girl undergoing physiotherapy. She had braces on her legs, a disability that had kept her from walking. Her therapist was pushing her—firm, unrelenting, not budging despite her cries of agony. She had to walk. That was the only way forward. There was a ball just a few feet away, covered in sweets, but she had to reach it herself. He wouldn’t carry her. He wouldn’t ease her struggle. He only moved the goal slightly closer before standing his ground again.
And she cried. Loud, heart-wrenching sobs. But through that pain, through the trembling steps, through the sheer agony of the moment, she moved. She pushed forward despite every instinct telling her to stop. And in the end? She walked.
Watching her, I didn’t just see a struggling child—I saw life itself.
But before I go any further, I want to say this—pain doesn’t just hurt; it changes how we see the world.
Scientifically speaking, pain does more than just make us feel bad—it shuts down certain neural pathways in the brain. It attacks the core nervous system, making it harder to think rationally, process emotions, or even trust our own judgment.
When you’re in pain, your brain is wired to focus on one thing only: Pain, it closes pathways to other thoughts and only brings up more painful events from your past. That’s why everything feels *heavier, more urgent, and more impossible to navigate.*
You question yourself. You question your reality. You replay situations, trying to make sense of things that, in a clearer state, might have been obvious. This isn’t a personal flaw—it’s simply how the brain reacts to pain. It convinces you that the pain will last forever, that nothing will ever feel okay again.
But here’s the truth: it will pass. And when it does, clarity will return.
I am going through the clarity of my own pain,I have asked myself that same question over and over. Will I ever trust again?
I’ve been betrayed. Lied to. Left to pick up pieces of something I thought was solid. I have sat with the weight of disbelief, trying to make sense of how someone could look me in the eye and not tell me the truth. I have tried to dissect every moment, every word, wondering where the lie began and if anything was ever real.
And in all of that, I started to try and build these walls around my heart, I wanted to protect myself, to ensure that I would never be put in this position again. But I’ve come to realize something:
There is nothing I can do to change another person’s intentions.
No amount of questions, no amount of precautions, no amount of walls will ever stop someone from lying if that is what they intended to do. If a person’s heart is good, it is good. If their heart is bad, it is bad. That has nothing to do with me. What I can control is how much I allow it to affect me. How much I let it shape me.
And that is what I am choosing to take from this.
I am choosing to believe that I will trust again.
I am choosing to believe that I will not let pain define me.
I am choosing to believe that I will not let someone else’s actions harden my heart.
Because no matter how bad a situation is, there is always something to walk away with. Always. You can take yourself out of a position of disadvantage and place yourself in an advantaged position just by what you learn from your pain. It won’t undo what happened, but it will make sure it wasn’t for nothing.
And one day, just like that little girl, I will look back on this moment—the heartbreak, the betrayal, the tears I thought would never stop falling—and I’ll realize that every step through the pain was worth it.
I can confidently say I am walking through this pain, and I am going to be okay. Each day I wake up it's easier. And that counts for something.
Pain is unavoidable, but so is healing. This too shall pass.
And when it does, we will not just be whole again.
We will be stronger.
And if you’re in that place right now—where everything feels too heavy, where the pain is loud and relentless—I want you to remember this:
You are not broken.
You are not weak.
You are not alone.
Pain will tell you that it’s endless, that it owns you. But it doesn’t. It never has. And it never will. You are walking through it, even if it doesn’t feel like it. Step by step, day by day, even in the moments when you feel like you're standing still.
One day, you’ll look back and realize the weight you thought would crush you was actually the thing that made you unbreakable.
And when that day comes? You will smile, knowing that you survived what you once thought you never could.
You’ve got this.
