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Steellover

Random thoughts. Some of them will be erotic and kink-related, but some of them won't be, and as such people might find them boring. Some will be related to personal fantasies, but some to personal experiences as well.
2 weeks ago. February 15, 2024 at 1:18 AM

For all you guys out there, hope you have a special evening.  May you make Her feel special. May you do something nice for your someone, share some romantic times and make it as kinky as you wish.

 

For all your women out there, may your man take care of you, and may you share the love and companionship you deserve.

 

For all you single people like me...  let's get %&&* drunk!

2 weeks ago. February 9, 2024 at 3:03 AM

"Hey Gino" (not his real name dummy)

"Who are you gonna root for on Sunday?" I asked, while casually chatting at work.

"Oh, I don't watch sports anymore.  I'm not even gonna turn it on.  Probably gonna take the boys fishing, or do some maintenance on my bike."

"Why not?" I asked.

 

He then launched into a spiel about how the Super Bowl, and most sports in general, are just a diversion, "Bread and Circuses," so to speak, so the global elite Bohemian Grove Illuminatti who Secretly Control Everything can keep us entertained while they hatch their nefarious plans to control the world's population and reap the wealth and power.  Total Alex Jones Infowars conspiracy type stuff.  And he kept this up for quite a while; about how our country's sovereignity is being stripped away, everything that happens, all events, pandemics, wars, and what not are part of their whole global plan for dominance, and you can't trust the media because they are being controlled too, and on and on- and the best chance for stopping it is, you may have guessed, to vote for Donald Trump.

 

I respect people's opinions- I really do, but this dude sounded to me like he spent way too much time following some dark rabbit holes. I don't disagree that there are problems in the world, and let's just say that the thing he proposes as a "solution" to the problems is something I see as a big part of them. Maybe we really are being manipulated, but maybe he is too- being led down a dark rabbithole for a different nefarious end.

 

  But I, for one, would rather forget about the problems of the world, for a little while, and come together, with people of all stripes, genders, beliefs, sexual preferences, and so on- and get together and party on Sunday over good food, drinks, and sports.   I'm not gonna tell you which team to root for- although I will say that, having grown up in northern California, that might influence where my pro-sports loyalties lie.... But I am going to tell you that, even if you wish that somehow BOTH teams would lose- and I've heard that one a lot lately- it's a good excuse to get together, forget about the troubles of the world, and be with people just having fun.  Nothing wrong with escapism.  May your favorite team win on Sunday, and if you really don't care, then may you still have a fun Sunday anyway- even if it is fishing with the kids or working on your bike.

4 weeks ago. February 1, 2024 at 2:11 AM

Fellas, if you have ever been in either of these situations, I feel your pain.

 

It is a warm spring night.  They climb up the hill together, enjoying the spring air.  They  chat, sharing stories of their lives. They have so much in common!  They laugh, talk, and enjoy the warmth of the air, and each other. They had been out a couple times, but yet he is trying not to rush things. Still, the longing is there, for her touch, for her kiss. The conversation pauses. He look into her eyes.  She is beautiful, and sitting there, the setting sun reflecting off her hair, she gives him a warm smile, her eyes beckoning.  He leans over, and gently kisses her.

 

She pulls back, alarmed, eyes suddenly blazing with anger.  Giving him a shove backwards, she exclaims, "What are you DOING, you creep!"

 

And, embarrassed, he apologizes for his mistake. Silently, they walk down the hillside and back to the car. He drops her off at home, apologizing again.  She never calls him again.  Meanwhile, she tells her friends what an aggressive creep he was.

______________________________________

A month later, it is warm summer night. They climb up the hill together, enjoying the spring air.  They  chat, sharing stories of their lives. They have so much in common!  They laugh, talk, and enjoy the warmth of the air, and each other. They had been out a couple times, but yet he is trying not to rush things. Still, the longing is there, for her touch, for her kiss. The conversation pauses. He look into her eyes.  She is beautiful, and sitting there, the setting sun reflecting off her hair, she gives him a warm smile, her eyes beckoning.  He thinks about leaning over to kiss her. But he is wiser, having learned from experience.  A long silence passes.  They both sigh.  Eventually they resume making more small talk, about sports, people they knew from college and high school, their favorite bands, and their annoying opinionated relatives. 

 

Still chatting, they walk down the hillside and back to the car. He drops her off at home, hoping she will invite him in.  She does not.  In fact, she never calls him again, despite him desperately wanting to see her.  Meanwhile, she tells her friends that even though he was quite a gentleman, he was a total dud because he wouldn't kiss her.

 

So, what is a guy supposed to do, when he gets mixed signals like this?  I would rather be a lover, than fight a no win battle of the sexes.  Anyway, this is why it can be tough being a dude.   Unless of course you are already in a relationship- and even then, little misunderstandings in communication can and do come up.

Anyway, thanks for reading, see ya.

1 month ago. January 25, 2024 at 2:06 AM

In dark times, be the light you want to see.

And it seems like these are dark times. Hate, intolerance, totalitarian repressive government, ignorance- these things seem to be spreading unchecked, and that isn't even the worst.  The ever growing onslaught of horrible news around the world, and growing fear. It seems like fear sells.  Fear maybe is "Sexy" to these fear-mongering news outlets:  World War 3 is coming, Winter is coming, the Asteroid is coming, the Anti-christ is coming, no use planning for a future that will never come.

So be the light you want to see.  Don't be a part of the problem.  Instead of spreading hate and intolerance, do something nice for someone. Even a kind word, or a small gesture, or a glint of empathy, or understanding. Instead of spreading the latest Twit, twaddle, tweet, or link warning about some oncoming catastrophe, share a link to something positive and uplifing.  And perhaps, be uplifting yourself. 

 

I agree, it can be hard, in these dark times.  Sometimes its tempting to just say, fuck it, I give up.  

 

But just as the resistance fighters fought back against the brutality and unchecked hate spread by the Nazis during World War 2, often risking their lives to do so, perhaps we can show the same bravery and fight back against the darkness assailing our own world today.  

1 month ago. January 4, 2024 at 1:15 AM

I just got back from Christmas break with the family a couple days ago.  I've read a couple blogs about people's Christmas experiences, some experiences were positive, others not so much.  It was certainly a mixed bag for me.  On one hand, I got to relax and sleep in and see family and that was great.  On the other...it rained most of the time so I was cooped up indoors, and, my favorite uncle died.

But, sucky as that was, this post isn't about that.  This post is about...

 

....Baseball.

 

Because, my uncle was a huge sports fan and baseball was his passion. Both coaching little league, and watching the game; he had been around the game his whole life.  He lived a long, fulfilling life, both around sports and family.  In his last few months, he had suffered severe brain damage that had left him a vegetable, so his passing at age 93, just three days before Christmas, was not unexpected and in a way kind of a blessing.  But I don't want to make this a "sad" post; he loved watching his San Francisco Giants, and so did I, and so instead I'll honor him and talk about my first baseball game.

 

June 1979...  I'm still just a little kid then, and the Giants were having a so-so season; they'd finish just below .500 that year.  One morning, my uncle came over and announced "I'm taking you guys out to the ballgame!" My cousins were huge into sports, much more so than me; I was only a novice whose interests lie more in "Star Wars" and those cheesy TV space-themed shows that were on at that time.  So we get out to "The Stick," as the now-defunct Candlestick Park was known.  My dad, brother, two cousins and my uncle.

We were playing the Astros.  Ed Halicki was pitching for the Giants that day. Good old Ed had been a pretty good pitcher for us, and had even thrown a no-hitter a few years before; and it would be more than 30 years before any Giants pitcher repeated that feat.  But old Ed certainly didn't have his best stuff that day, that's for sure.  In the first inning, the Giants scratched out a run by stringing together a couple base hits and a sacrifice fly, and not long after, they still had two men on base with two outs.  Then, this guy, Willie McCovey, stepped up to the plate. McCovey was an aging slugger who had been a huge star in the 1960's and 70's, and had spent almost his entire career with San Francisco.  And...late in his career though he was, he still had it!  CRACK!  That ball carried clear over the center field fence!  OUTAHERE!  Just like that, it was four-nothing Giants.  As an impressionable kid, I couldn't even express how excited this was. In my first live game I witnessed, a legendary hitter gets a three run home run- you bet I was stoked!

But alas, Halicki began to crack after inning number four, and by inning 5, that four run lead had evaporated- and Halicki was yanked from the mound.  And soon, it because 5-4 Astros, then 6-4 Astros (as the bullpen wasn't faring much better) and by the 9th inning it was 7-5 favor Houston.  Though the Giants tried to rally, they scored just one more run late in the game and it ended up in the record books as a Giants loss.  I was heartbroken.  The Giants would, in fact, break my heart many times over the years before finally winning their first of three titles in 2010. 

But nonetheless, I left the stadium that day as a Giants fan and would remain one for life.  My uncle and cousins, who knew the game probably better than anyone who hadn't actually played it professionally, seemed to have memorized the stats of every player on the field and it was fun to listen to them and learn about the game from them.

So, my uncle's gone, and baseball season doesn't start for a few months, and I'm not so sure about the Giants' prospects this year. (The Dodgers have such a stacked roster it's hard to imagine anyone but them winning the division.)  But I will always remember him for his love of baseball and for him introducing me to the game.  Thanks for reading.

1 month ago. January 3, 2024 at 12:53 AM

Everyone has "New Years Resolutions."  

I look at it differently; I look at it the way all those white collar jobs people look at it, what are your "Goals" for next year.

A ton of people, myself included, always cringe at those mandatory requests, put together a list of "Goals" for the year and things you want to achieve. (Fail at them, and you get a bad performance review.  Baaah! One of those "office space" type workplace annoyances!)

It's different when it's your personal life though.  You can be hard on yourself, but it's not like a job-related performance review like we all hate, because your livelihood literally depends on it. What are some life goals? For example,  "Lose Weight, Exercise more."  Almost everyone has listed this as a new years resolution at some point in their lives; probably even super athletes list these at some point.  So this one, for me, goes without saying.  Nothing wrong with wanting to live a healthy lifestyle.  But then it's an ongoing goal, rather than a "Resolution."  Goals are something you work on to improve your self and are not always a concrete tangible objective.

Other personal goals?  Seek healthy and lasting relationships.  Both friendship and romantic ones.  I am lucky to have some great friends, but I haven't been as successful at having healthy romantic ones.  This is a goal to work on.

Get the house re-painted, get an instagram account set up.  These are tangible things I should probably get done, and I've kind of been putting them off.  I have all year though.

 

And finally, a personal goal of mine: create more interesting blog posts.  Hopefully the next one will be more interesting than this one.

2 months ago. December 14, 2023 at 5:13 AM

So, here's a less stressful and hopefully fun post. Trying to lighten the mood, maybe.

I remember when my little brother turned 8, and I was like 10 or 11, he got this plastic space helmet with a red see-thru visor for his 8th birthday. Back in those days, kids birthdays were always held at the Chuck E. Cheese pizza, because they had a ton of video games there, along with animitronic robots who would periodically do this corny song and dance thing. (And pizza. Almost forgot that last thing.)  So, quarters in hand, we all would go nuts playing stuff like Pac Man, Asteroids, Defender, Centipede, Tempest, and, my favorite- Xevious.  But my brother was wearing his brand new plastic space helmet in the arcade, blasting away at space invaders, bugs, and giant space rocks, and all the other 7 and 8 year olds thought he was the coolest kid in the whole place.  Everyone wanted to be like my brother, with his spiffy plastic space helmet.  Except me and my fellow 11 year olds, who snarkily thought, man, what a dork.

So, the next year, I turned 12, and got a Dungeons and Dragons t-shirt for my birthday.  Stoked!.  The previous year, us kids had discovered Dungeons and Dragons, and we thought we were the coolest kids ever.  It was a fun game and fun way to escape with some dice and a crude hand drawn map full of orcs, trolls, and undead monsters.  So I proudly wore that shirt to soccer practice and thought I was hot shit.  But a few kids, who were a couple years older than me, said, man, Dungeons and Dragons?  You're into that?  You are such a dork!

Then, before we were even of legal age to drink, drink we did, and thought we were the coolest kids ever.  "Beer and Bong Hits dude! Lets Get Fucked Up!"  went the common refrain. Us college aged kids, proudly bragging about how many beers and how many shots we had the previous night.  Sometimes we'd encounter old dudes who were as wasted as we were.  We always thought, at the time, "Man, that dude needs to be in A.A.  I hope I'm not still doing that shit when I'm 40!  By the way, I need another beer.  Hey Noa, wanna pack another bowl?"

And I see these kids now, many of them barely 21, at bars and clubs (When I have the occasion to go out) and think, man, what a bunch of drunken idiots.  Were we really that obnoxious?  Well, yeah, I guess we were.  I'm thankfully pretty much a lightweight these days.

But I did get a lot of grief back in High School for liking Iron Maiden, Slayer, and Metallica.  "You like that loud metal crap?  Geez, you are such a dork!" the preppy and/or jocky kids would say to me.  Flash forward, however many years ago that was- and, well, I can't help it; I still like Iron Maiden, Slayer, and Metallica.  I guess I'm just a big dork.

2 months ago. December 13, 2023 at 6:31 AM

I can't do it anymore.  I just can't. 

The superficial love, getting involved with women who only use me, and my submissive nature to get me to buy them expensive things.  Pay to play, buy me this, buy me that, I need money to help with this, thankyou babe, see you next time.  Well,  I don't wan't to play anymore.  I want something real, some lasting companionship, mutual respect and love- if there even is such a thing.   But I can't keep getting involved with gold diggers.  That's been my only source of companionship of late.  Its my fault, too;  I chose to seek out these types, the pros, the players.  So you don't need to feel bad for me.  It's my own addiction, drawn to the to bad girls, money diggers, pay to play types, and it's all I have.  But I can't do it anymore. There has to be something else. Something better.  

She was all I have right now, but yet I want to quit. I got to.  She doesn't love me (I'm just a source of income to her) but I want to love her, and I can't.  There can never be that.  Money can buy you love, or rather, at least what you can pretend is love, but as the requests for things pile up, eventually you can't even pretend anymore.   I don't want to go through this again. Sorry.  Sorry to burden all of you guys, dang I probably shouldn't even post this, you are all going to hate me, but I probably deserve it too but sometimes I need to get stuff off my chest.  I am not in a good frame of mind right now.

2 months ago. December 6, 2023 at 12:58 AM

There is a place roughly an hour's drive from here.

Well, it's a place, but really it's no place in particular.

A tiny spot on the map says "Oreana."  

Maybe Oreana was once an actual town, or maybe it never was much more than it is today.

Nonetheless it is "Town" only in the sense that it is what passes for civilization in a sea of empty desert and scrub land.

Two dirt roads cross here, and maybe six or seven farm-houses, most of which are just double-wide manufactured homes.  Up a little ways is another dirt road with a couple more large acreage estates.  Down a ways, maybe a quarter mile at the top of a low rise, is an old school house which serves as a community hall, and just beyond that, an ancient Catholic church, looking like something you might see in a Clint Eastwood movie. And that is it.  There are no businesses, post office, Starbucks, nail salons, or anything else of note.

Old farm trucks, mongrel dogs, and ancient machinery dot the yards of the few residents who call this place home.

Beyond the edge of town, are a few scattered ranches, and beyond that, nothing.

It's the jumping off point to nowhere. 

Nowhere, nothing but empty desert, the wind whipping through the sage.

Although, perhaps not entirely empty. The nearby Owyhee mountains rise in the background.  There are deep canyons, and rock walls like fortresses on the heights, and on the sides of the canyons.  In some places the rocks make twisted formations, like from a dream.  Those "Fat Lizards" scurry around the rocks, and there are coyotes howling in the distance, hawks and birds of prey soaring above. 

In the Spring, wildflowers bloom in vivid psychedelic color.  White yarrow, red paintbrush flower, yellow Balsamroot, and tiny purple flowers of all description.

Once in a while, your boot will kick up a twig from a sagebrush plant and you will hear a "Chink," and you reach down and pick it up, only to realize the twig has been mineralized all the way through, from being sitting in the desert for so long.  And on one windswept plateau, you can reach down and pick up black pebbles that are made entirely of glass.  Perhaps nothing is as it seems out here, in the back lands.

But mostly, there is a certain peace, a primitive permanence to this landscape.  It is the ultimate escape to nowhere, to be one with nature, with the desert and yourself and your thoughts. 

Perhaps that's why, once in a while, I like to come here.

2 months ago. November 30, 2023 at 5:47 AM

I never know how edgy I can go with my blog posts without grossing people out; so if I ever do so, I apologize.  Not everyone's kink is for everyone I guess. 

So with that, I'll write about something as vanilla as possible this time, or rather, as chocolaty as possible this time. Because everyone loves chocolate, right? 

 

I noticed that they are making yet another Willy Wonka movie. I've seen ads for it on TV.  The question is, do they really need to make yet another Willy Wonka movie?  What will another movie do with the character, or with the story, that Johnny Depp and Gene Wilder haven't already done?  Some guy named Timothee Chalamet is playing the title character this time, and I guess this one goes more into the character's back story than the first two. Chalamet has a pretty decent resume, so I'm sure he'll do a fine job. 

I've seen the other two Wonka films more than once, and to be honest, I was always partial to Johnny Depp's version of the character.  I may be in the minority there though.  I just thought he brought the right amount of dark, edgy, and slightly creepy aspect to the character while still keeping the film whimsical and fun.  I think he absolutely nailed it.  And I loved the supporting cast and the way they interacted with him- especially the TV kid, who always seemed so cynical, and the snooty rich girl and her father.  Although Gene Wilder's Wonka was almost as intriguing, and that film had a more, shall we say, psychedelic take on the story.  I just think Depp's slightly darker, more mischievous and slightly "off" version of the character worked better.  

So I may go see this one, I may not, in all likelihood I'll probably wait till its available at Netflix or on TV.  But I will probably end up watching it at some point.  It still beats making endless varieties of the latest super-hero Marvel comic book character films which are all pretty much over-done, interchangable and ultimately, forgettable these days. It would be a good first date movie, anyway.  Come to think of it, the first time I saw the Depp "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" movie, it was also a first date.  She was kind of a Violet Beuregard type.  So needless to say the relationship didn't last much beyond date number 3.  So anyway, thanks for reading.