Steellover

In the last couple years or so, I have lost a number of close friends and family and it's been brutal.  The memories of spending time with these people,and the good times we had, just leaves an emptiness in me when I realize they're gone.  All I hope is that they are happy in the next dimension where we can be reunited.  I lost another friend, who was slightly older than I was, who played in local bands, was the life of the party but who would give you the shirt off his back and didn't have a mean bone in his body.  Other than, he was an alcoholic who occasionally over did it and did sometimes become a bit obnoxious.  And like so many others, it caught up to him.  I made a promise that this column wouldn't be always about sadness and loss. I loved this guy- miss him, but I don't want to constantly dwell on loss and sadness. I promised to try not to. 

So with that said, this isn't about that.

This is, instead, about... the mid/late 1990s.

It was a good time for me. Just out of college and everything was about partying and fun, being free-spirited, not being tied down with a serious job, a house or baggage. I'd get anxious sometimes thinking about the future but in the end it did all work out. It was about this time that I got my first real white collar office job, even though I was still a low paid "Grunt" office worker.  Much like the "Office Space" guy (which came out right before the end of the '90s.)

So... some other mid/late 90's memories:

"I Just Wanna Fly.  Put your arms around me baby, put your arms around me baby..."

"Livin' La Vida Loca." For a brief time, this song embodied everything about the summer of 1998.

"Beavis and Butthead."  huh huh.  Classic X-files. That silly Power Rangers kid show.  MTV still playing music, even if most of it was stuff I found boring like Boys II Men and TLC.

There was no social media, no cell phones.  You could connect with strangers on a face to face level, and more of your connections seemed deeper and less superficial. You could smile at people on the street and they'd smile back.  People plugged into the moment, into the world around them, rather than what was on some hand-held screen.

There was less hate, and less push-back against tolerance, respect and love.  While this darkness was always there, it was more deeply underground and more universally shunned rather than embraced.

The Denver Broncos were the NFL team to beat.  Along with Brett Favre and the Packers, and Troy Aikman and Emmett Smith and the Cowboys.  The Commanders weren't called that yet, and I don't think the Texans, Jaguars, Panthers, or Titans even existed yet (or not until the late 1990s at least.)

Seattle still had an NBA team.

Windows 95, Dial up modems, Shiny AOL promotional CD-Roms arriving in the mail at the frequency of maybe 2 per week. Some people even collected those.  "You've Got Mail!" Ha ha.

"Heeeeeyyyyy Macarena!"

Jim Carrey.

Blockbuster video.  "American Pie."  "Forrest Gump."  "The Phantom Menace" dissappointing long-time Sci-fi Fans.  "The Matrix" satisfying long time sci-fi fans.

Lollapallooza, and later, the Vans Warped Tour.

So that's all I got, for now.  I could go on but... hopefully some of you have memories of that era as well. I know it was a cliche to think it was a simpler time, but it was one of the happiest times in my life, and it's fun to look back on the good times.

Over the years, I've listened to tons of bands, and had many favorites over the years. Though, after much thought, I'd probably have to admit, sometimes grudgingly, that my favorite band of all time would have to be Metallica.  

Any band with as long a career, and as extensive a discography as Metallica will naturally create a wide variety of music over the years.  So with that said, some of it clicks with me more than others.  I've rated all eleven of their studio albums here, from my favorite to least favorite.  The point of all of this is to inspire discussion.  Most people know this band, some of you hate everything they've ever done, some love the albums I dislike, and vice versa. Let me know your thoughts! I've limited it to strictly full length studio albums though, not EP's or live albums.  With that said:

1) "Master of Puppets."  Their best in my opinion.  Every song on this just kills, and the production is the right level of "Grit" to capture the aggression, passion and intensity while showing off their playing skills. This is the band at their peak.

2) "Kill Em All."  I sometimes fluctuate between which of the first three are my top favorite. It's a fine line, because really all three together are close and it depends on my mood.  At the time this was released, the band was the absolute cutting edge, next level stuff, and still underground. There was, as I recall, a cult, underground, dangerous, subversive energy around this album when it came to light- too gnarly to be played on the radio, and faster, heavier and darker than most metal at the time. Though it sounds tame compared to some of the underground metal that came out in the years following it.  I love the youthful energy and passion here.

3) "Ride the Lightning."  Again, cutting edge, re-invention of metal, a genre-defining and landmark record in every way.  There were bands that played faster, bands that were more abrasive, and bands that might have had more musical chops, but at the time, nobody combined all three of these elements in the state-of-the-art way that Metallica did here.  It has far more dynamic variation than the debut, with totally gnarly thrash tracks ("Fight Fire with Fire" and "Creeping Death"), dark, brooding heavy tracks ("For Whom the Bell Tolls") and powerful melodic tracks ("....Cthulu", and "Fade to Black.")  The only reason  I rated this lower than the other two is "Escape" is probably the weakest track on the first three albums, yet it is still a great track (go figure.) Interestingly, "Escape" seemed to set the template for a lot of their 90's material, only here, they still had the grit and intensity that similar tracks on, say, the "Load" sessions, do not have.

4) "Death Magnetic."  This album is really varied, combining the thrashy, gnarly dynamics of their first three albums with the more mainstream sensibilities of the 90's stuff, and the labyrinthine riff-fests of "And Justice for All."  Which is why I like it.  Almost every song on here is a keeper; there are really only one or two weaker tracks.  Had it come out after "Justice" I think it would have been much more well received.  To me this was sort of a "Come back" album that rejuvenated their career in the 2000's; the one that all those fans who thought "Metallica sucked after And Justice For All" were waiting for.

5) "72 Seasons." Yes, the "new" album.  I thought they did a good job with this one, with a lot of great, heavy tracks and plenty of great riffs throughout. "Lux Eternal" almost sounds like a "Kill Em All" track.  However, it's not as consistent as "Death Magnetic" though; and as a result it kind of drags at times.

6) "And Justice for All."  I was a bit disappointed with this one after "Master of Puppets," but it's not a bad album at all.   Two main complaints here:  It suffered drastically in the final mix- a result of Lars Ulrich being not entirely comfortable with then-new bass player Jason Newstead's contributions at the time.  Also, too many songs are built on long-winded, mid-paced overly complex riff fests that drag on and get tiresome after a while.  Case in point being the title track.  It's good but... the previous three were better.

7) "Hardwired to Self Destruct."  There are a few great songs on here, but there's also a lot of filler, and I've always thought that if the band had culled some of the filler and compiled the two-discs worth of material into a single disc comprising the better tracks, they would have been better off- and I might have rated this one higher.  As it is, like "Justice" and "72 seasons," it kind of drags at times.

8) "Garage Inc."  I wasn't gonna include this one because it's really just a "Covers" album and not their original music, but they did a good job with some of the tracks on here and it is occasionally a fun listen.  "Turn the Page" however is overplayed.  Its the Sabbath, Discharge, Misfits and Diamond Head covers that really carry this.

9) 1991 self titled, aka the "Black Album."  This, to me, sounded like Metallica cashing in and selling out, compromising their sound.  Granted, they deserved that brass ring so I don't begrudge them for making this.  It always just sounded too polished and tame to me.  It's a good hard rock/metal album though with plenty of iconic songs, and I can't really say it's a "Bad" album, just- it's not my favorite by them, by a long shot. 90's era Metallica was, in general, very conservative, musically speaking.

10) "Re-Load." Recorded the same time as "Load" but released a year later, this one has a slightly better collection of songs overall, in my opinion, with "Fuel" and "Memory Remains" being my personal favorites here. It's a good heavy rock album, fitting for the 90's when metal was pretty much passe anyway, but this was never really their strength.

11) "Load."  Similar to "Re-Load," it's a basic rock n' roll record, decent for what it is, but very, very "vanilla."  And, as you would guess based on my participation in a BDSM-themed blog, "Vanilla" is too bland for my tastes.  So is this album.

12) "Saint Anger."  I appreciate what they were going for here, but the results don't really add up.  This sounds like it was just thrown together slap-dash and everything about it sounds half-assed:  The songwriting, structuring, lyrics, lack of memorable solos, and the horribly botched production values.  I like the idea of going back to their aggressive roots and letting this album basically be their version of venting out their frustration.  But the songs just sounded under-developed, the lyrics made up on the spot, and the production- there is a difference between raw, unpolished production and horribly botched production- and this was just plain botched.  In short, "Saint Anger" sounds like it was simply rushed- it needed more work.

13) "LuLu." I almost didn't include this one because it's really more of a Lou Reed album FEATURING Metallica, than a proper Metallica album.  To summarize:  I liked Lou Reed better with the Velvet Underground, and I like Metallica better without Lou Reed.  This just sounds like a half-crazed and somewhat creepy old man rambling on about nonsense, backed by some of the most uninspired and bland Metallica riffing of their entire career.  Overall it just didn't work for me. 

I almost included "S&M" and the follow-up "S&M2" because, nothing would be more appropriate for this blog than S&M, right?  Well, I didn't because, these are basically live albums and this post is already getting to the toolong/didnt read length as it is.  Basically I thought it was an interesting concept but the results sounded a bit too slick and rather pretentious to me.

So there you have it!  Comments welcome below, and if you hate everything related to Metallica, then that's fine too! 

I am starting to see them more and more.  The first time I saw one of these mobile neo-cubist abstract sculptures, I didn't know if it was a randomly folded pile of sheet metal, a rolling dumpster, or some joke put together by some sixth grader who took his little brother's cartoon drawing of a car, and decided to build the thing out of scrap metal lying around.  "What the heck is that folded rolling pile of crap?" I exclaimed after seeing one, for the first time, on the street last summer.

"Oh, it's the new Tesla Cybertruck." my buddy replied.

"Wait.... wait you mean it's actually SUPPOSED to look like that?  They are actually mass producing copies of that ridiculous thing?" I asked.

"Well, look at it this way... maybe they built it so that Pontiak Aztek, Nissan Frog,(Juke) and BMW I3 owners wouldn't feel so self conscious," he replied.

So now I'm seeing more and more of these wretched looking eyesores.  A rolling joke, that makes you want to just throw rocks at it. I admit, with more and more cars looking alike, these things do look distinctive.  Obviously not in a good way.

When I visited family over the holidays, I saw a crap ton of these things on the road. Luckily I did not throw rocks at them.  But I did cringe inwardly when I saw one.  And I only saw two Mercedes "Cats" the entire time.  That made me sad.  Mercedes "Cats" make me smile, and feel warm and fuzzy, because the cars look like warm, fuzzy critters.  But lets face it, there just aren't that many of them still running after all these years. Instead, we get rolling dumpsters that look like big piles of randomly folded sheet metal.

Now, to all those Cybertruck owners out there, I apologize- I can understand there are valid reasons for owning one. Yes, they are very safe. You don't have to buy gas, better for your wallet and for the planet.  They have all the latest high-tech googads and gismets.  And unless your neighbor has one, you will have the distinction of owning a vehicle that looks nothing like anyone else's on the block.  But to each their own.  I obviously would never buy one.  If anyone out there has an old 1976-1985 Mercedes "Cat" in their garage, let me know.

Ahhh, December. 

The joys and lights of the holidays.

Seeing family and friends.

Busting my tail to get things done that I need to before Christmas.

(Maybe a kinky fantasy or two.  Both naughty and nice.)

And... Death Fog.

It creeps in overnight. You wake up one morning and it's here: This greyish white shroud that covers everything, blocking out the sun, reducing visibility to as little as half a block.  Dreary, depressing days made even drearier and more depressing by the endless, socked-in feeling.  

Go to work in the dark. Come home in the dark.  Sometimes the only time you see the sun is when you go for a walk at lunch to get food.  But once the Death Fog rolls in, you don't even get that.

Sometimes it stinks, literally.  The sugar beet factory is about 16 miles in a straight line from here but yet, occasionally during a death fog spell, you can smell it all the way over here. It smells like burning sugar beets.  There is no other way to describe it other than a rank, somewhat sweet, organic smell.

The weather nurdz will say "When a high pressure system creates an inversion layer, trapping cold, moist air in the valley, the fog and cold will linger." Blah blah blah; but they are right about one thing; often it will be sunny (And warmer) when you get up high into the mountains.  And you look down at the death fog covered valley, it's like looking out over the ocean.  Somewhere underneath that grey ocean is the city.  

But right now I'm stuck in it, while I finish all my Christmas errands. Maybe if I get everything done  tomorrow I'll head up and out of the death fog, if only for a short while.

Maybe that's why the holiday season is in December, because otherwise it would be pretty grim.

So this blog is about... BURP!

Allright, so with that out of the way... On to all seriousness. 

(Hey man don't blame me, sometimes that works for people.)

I know all too well the disadvantages of being a submissive male.  I won't waste time with that or dwell on it here.  But I hope I can convey the positives. This won't be about kink by the way- yes I do enjoy kink but that's not the point of this post.

Being submissive means being, not only attentive to your partner's needs, but when your partner directs you, and commands you, it helps you to better know how to please them- and thus, the happier and more satisfied they will be.  Teach me, tell me what to do Mistress- and I will obey.  Were I dominant, I might make wrong assumptions and do everything wrong, leaving you unsatisfied, at best.

It means, taking an extra time to be thoughtful.

It means, being open to learning things (all kinds of things- insights, health tips, ways to solve math problems, new musical scales, philosophy and history) from my partner.

It means I can openly adore and worship my partner, even kneel at her feet and clean her boots, without her considering it cringy.  Because it is an expression of love.

Even when receiving corporal punishment for a thoughtless mistake, it is still an expression of love.

Maybe I was always a bit shy around girls. Never know what to say, or the best way to approach them.  Let her make the first move, and there can be no misunderstanding.  Maybe I saw too many guys screw up by being too aggressive, or simply not communicate with their partner properly to meet her needs.  Maybe that's why I prefer she communicate to me exactly what to do.  

And maybe, it is because I believe it is better to give than to receive, and therefore take more satisfaction in my partner's pleasure than in my own.

And maybe I'm wrong about all of it, and just a confused guy trying to submit to life's experiences for better or worse.

So there is this guy, Nomba Tu, who I've been watching on TV a lot on weekends.  Okay maybe that's not really his name, but when you see him run into a pile of bodies wearing a shirt with a big "2" on it, that sort of becomes his identity.  So this isn't a post about "Taking a number two-"  this post is, if you haven't guessed, about.... College football.  

Because a lot of people watch it, but you don't read many posts about it.  Okay, I take it back; actually you do, so I'll be fair and keep this one brief, because probably a lot of people don't want to read about college football on a Cage blog.  I realize there are too many boring columns about that stuff already, but I promise I'll try and make this more unique than all the rest of them.

So anyway, Nomba Tu plays for our local college football team.  In the first few games this season, Nomba Tu was nearly unstoppable.  They'd give him the ball, and he'd be halfway across the field before the other team even realized what was happening, and would be at least three quarters of the way to the end zone by the time they dragged him to the ground- and he'd go down dragging at least three or four defenders with him.  It was, to say the least, fun to watch; the dude was putting up video game like numbers- six touchdowns the first game (breaking a school record) and at least four per game over the next few weeks.  It was like watching some guy play "Madden NFL" with full cheat codes enabled while playing against the "Easy" setting.

But then, as the season wore on, teams started figuring out that if you put all 11 defenders at the front of the line, and have them all charge at Nomba Tu at once, suddenly those plays didn't work so well.  Instead of like 30 yards per carry, Nomba Tu would only gain maybe one or two (though once in a long while, he'd still break one for like twenty or thirty.)  And the coaches kept getting more and more stubborn, calling the most clever play imaginable:  Give the ball to Tu, have him run straight into a wall of bodies, ("Let the bodies hit the floor!") and gain a whopping one yard.  "Even I coulda done that!"  We'd say to each other, exasperated, while watching the game.  You'd think the coaches would get creative and have Tu run to the outside on some kind of jet sweep, or have our quarterback, Numbeur Phorr, just throw passes instead, but nope; for one, Phorr really isn't a very accurate passer, and the receivers just aren't that good at catching his off-target passes.  And also, well, the coaches don't seem to like running plays that go anywhere but straight into the pile of bodies.

So naturally, by now, poor Nomba Tu is pretty banged up.  YOU try running into a pile of bodies over and over again and see how you feel after ten weeks of it.  They say this dude might get the Heisman trophy, possibly beating out some guy from Colorado, Bydan S. Hunter or whatever that guys name is (Can't remember for sure.)  And I admire Nomba Tu's willingness to sacrifice himself for it, but the problem I have is- I see him merely as a pawn being moved around the board by a less than skilled player.  Or (since this is a Cage.co blog) a hapless submissive being manipulated by a careless and clueless dominant.  Great coaches know how to get the best from their players, to build teams who are altogether greater than the sum of their parts- just like great chess players don't just rely on the Queen but know how to use every piece in their arsenal.  Numba Tu is basically THE team right now- and as banged up as he is, without a supporting cast and a coach who knows how to use them, I fear he is doomed ultimately to disappoint his fans by running into one too many piles of bodies.  So that's all I got for now.  

Happy Thanksgiving, and may your favorite teams win!  By the way I never understood why the Cowboys and Lions are always the designated "Thanksgiving Teams" but some football traditions defy explanation and that's how it is.

So this happened about two years ago.  I don't think I've posted about it before but if I have, then I apologize for the redundancy.

Anyway, so I had met this girl. Really liked her.  We both liked art, hiking, scabbing for cool rocks in the back country, and had  a few common interests, and she seemed really easy going and cool.  She had stopped by during an event I was hosting a table at so I finally got the nerve and asked her out.  We hit it off... or so I thought. One thing I realized early is that she was in "The Program." Meaning, no booze for her.  Okay; that's fine; granted I do like to have a couple beers with buddies occasionally but I'm more of a lightweight social drinker than a hardcore partyer these days (I got that out of my system way back in my college days.)  But I could do the sober thing for her, support her, and never even touch so much as sip of wine when I was around her because I want to be supportive.

We went out on a couple dates.  She came across as friendly, kind, sincere, but at the same time, not overly sexually aggressive or suggestive, and I certainly didn't want to force the issue. So I tried to play it cool, be a gentleman.  If she ever did gave me a sign she wanted more than to just share a smile, it was too subtle for me to notice.  Now granted, I never, ever, brought up the idea of kink, BDSM, or any extreme or "alternative sexual" stuff with her.  I didn't want to go there, being afraid to scare her off. Keep in mind I have pretty much resigned myself to dating in the vanilla world at this point, and even with the idea of "Vanilla" style sex, I was being super cautious.  There are a lot of people who are pretty sexually conservative where I live. And keeping in mind that she was doing all kinds of A-A meetings and sessions, I suspected that she might have wanted to take things slow, too.

So, on the third date, we went on an outing, over into "The Back Lands," as I call the rugged uplands and foothills of the Owyhee Mountains which are my stomping grounds. It was, as I recall, right around this time of year- mid-November, right when things were getting muddy and the daylight was starting to get rationed.  We had a nice time, nothing awkward, no red flags- no arguments or weird uncomfortable bits.  It seemed like a wonderful day. We got back to the house.  I invited her in but she said, rather subconsciously, well, I got mud all over my boots.

"Oh, don't worry, I'll clean them for you.  Let me go inside and grab some paper towels." I said, thinking I was being a regular "Sir Walter Rally" style gentleman.

Now, this is the part where a lot of people, who are still reading, might think "uh-oh, this is where the story is about to get really super cringey."

And where I think, "Well, I probably shouldn't have done that."

So I'll gloss it over but let's just say, that while I was kneeling in front of her, wiping the mud from her white leather cowboy boots, I was thinking to myself,  "Wow...this is NICE!  I'm really enjoying this!"   

However, I never said anything to the effect, not wanting to come across as, well, really super cringey.  But she may have noticed, as much as I tried to hide it and play it cool, that maybe...just maybe, I enjoyed cleaning the mud off her boots maybe a little too much.  And keep in mind, I never said anything creepy, or anything at all in fact.  Perhaps, though, just the unnatural (to her) vibe of a guy kneeling in front of her boots, cleaning them, made her uncomfortable.  

But that's the thing, she never said anything either!  A week passed.  I told her I wanted to see her again, but she was never available. When I finally heard from her,  she called me and said, "well, I was thinking, you know..." (Well, you know the rest.)  I asked if it was because of anything I said or did.  She assured me it wasn't.  But the thing is, as a guy, you always wonder, what DID you do wrong?  What was the red flag, how did I screw up, etc.  You torture yourself, beat yourself up, "should I have said this, should I not have said that, or should I have done or not done this or that...."

Did she, in fact, pick up on the kink vibe and get creeped out? 

I will unfortunately never know.  But I do know, this kind of thing always leaves me feeling guilty for having some of the thoughts and feelings that I have- and this guilt is something I do continually wrestle with.

So if you've made it this far, thanks for reading.

When you meet someone you like- in my case, not a romantic or "friend with benefit" kind of thing, but just a regular dude.  You like this guy. He's a dude who you enjoy hanging out with in a "Kick back and have a beer" kind of thing.  The type of dude you go on adventures with, who shares common interests with you, and who comes across as a really chill, genuinely righteous person.

Except, he isn't. 

I saw this person's mug shot on the police blotter today.  I was just casually browsing the police blotter and I saw it. I had met him a while ago and while we weren't close "Best buddies," he was still a guy I respected and hoped to hang out with more.  Similar interests and what not.

I realize, people make stupid mistakes: get caught driving after one too many beers, get busted with a little weed (which is actually legal in many places), or succumb to their more serious substance addictions.  I've even seen people get hauled in for stupid stuff like child custody battles (usually a "Contempt of court" charge) or incorrectly filing taxes as a private medical professional ("tax fraud.")  I know a lot of perfectly decent human beings who have screwed up like this. These things are forgivable.   And while I certainly do NOT condone any kind of spousal abuse or domestic violence, at ALL- I have also seen some domestic quarrels turn heated where the guy didn't have the courage or emotional restraint to walk away before he lost control, and this is tragic for everyone involved.

But this guy, who I hung out with just this past weekend and who I thought was one of the coolest and most decent people, was arrested for something much, much worse than that. Something utterly terrible.  

I mean, I don't even know what to say. Shock, anger, disappointment, disillusionment, I guess I feel all of those things.  Maybe even shame at trusting him and not being able to judge his character.  To be fair, he did nothing to me.  So in a sense, theoretically I can neither judge him nor forgive him.  But to his victim- I feel only sorrow,  sadness, and anger over what he did to her.

There are still a lot of wonderful, good people in this world, and yes, even the best make mistakes and do things they regret.  But a charge like this is not a "Mistake" that a good person would make.  This was... evil.  And I am still trying to come to grips with the fact that not more than two days ago, I had a great day spending it with a person who I thought was a good guy.

So the question of what is "The most romantic song of all time" is an open ended question, ask a hundred people you'll get a hundred different answers.

Whatever clicks with you, is what it is.

For me, there is one song, more than any other, that captures the youthful passion, energy, longing, and romance that I associate with love. 

That being... "I'll Melt with You" by the Modern English.

Everything about this song is perfect. It's beautiful, passionate, melodic, powerful, catchy...it's just the perfect song.

I was reading in the comment section of the video, of sitting on the bluffs above the Boardwalk, watching the sunset with that special person. 

I remember sitting next her, one winter day, watching the sunset.  To my young, raging heart, she was the one.  That person I would melt with.  It was a pure, young love, uncorrupted by the kinky desires that would torment me later when I opened that pandora's box and discovered them.  I just wanted to sit there, lean over, and kiss her. Everything about her shone.  Her deep blue eyes, long wavy blonde hair. My dream crush...

...But I didn't.  And it wasn't to be.  We were both just out of college then.  I was a pizza delivery guy, she was a waitress.  Both of us working dead end jobs in a dead-end college town that had nothing further to offer us.  It was a fun town to be young in.  But not so much fun to grow old in, or put down roots, pretending to be a college kid forever. She needed to leave, to find a career, grad school then internship.... And so did I.  And I knew this deep down.

So we moved apart, each finding our own way. Like her, I grew up, left the college "beer beer party party" thrasher kid that I was behind, and became a responsible adult with a professional job.  

I still think of her some times.  Think of that day on the Boardwalk. Last I heard she had a family and was living in Portland. I am glad she found happiness and success. 

And I hope that each of us who are single finds that one who they can stop the world and melt with, because even though life isn't always perfect, there are perfect memories we can have that are as beautiful as an amazing song.

So anyway that's all I have, see ya.

"Degenerate" is an ugly word, but we all know people to whom it rightfully applies- and without going into detail (and risk violating the terms of service) it usually involves things that are.... lets just say, illegal for very good reasons.

So with that said, who is the bigger degenerate in the following scenario:  Person one, who likes being tied up, spanked, and grovelling at the feet of their partner?  And engaging in other behavior ranging from deliciously degrading to masochistically arousing?  (I need not go into detail here but you get the idea.)

Or person two:  An upstanding member of the community, with a wife and family.  Completely resolutely vanilla sexually; in fact, believes sex should only be engaged in for the express purpose of procreating, not recreating.  However, person two has extensive financial resources and clout with the state and local governments. Person two goes out of their way to publically demonize GLBT people, and anyone involved in the kink lifestyle.  But not only that, uses their clout with the local and state governments to target GLBT people.  Laws are passed, resulting in freedoms being lost, and people's lives being ruined. Their actions having a far reaching negative impact on far more than just themselves or their partner.  

So with that said, which is really the bigger degenerate?

We can all stand together and stand up for ourselves and for who we are.  Even when we have different orientations, kinks, likes, limits and dynamics.  Stand up for being human and being ourselves and push back against the degenerates.