Cheers to an amazing year .this year has taught me alot and most of all the amazing persons who have entered my life and all left a mark.leading to my birthday this year I lost some amazing persons both family and friend but most of all this year taught me the importance of cherishing what one has Infront of them.the grass is never greener on the other side .it's always a facade for fool you .greatful and thankful to sweet 26
Woke up this morning to the strangest feeling .I looked at the time this morning and it was after 9 am . It was strange to me for one waking up so late in the morning and looking at my phone there were messages and voice notes but thinking anything of the blue happened . I started listening to the voice notes and my heart sunk. I couldn't believe what I was hearing . I lost a family member again but this time she was raped and murdered in her own home. I was shaken not because she was murdered but in the manner she was. I am lost for words honestly it feels like each time when there is a calm after a storm there's another . Sigh
I am so happy to be able to celebrate ,my french,English and African heritage . There is so much to enjoy from the music ,to the food and to the customes. .wish I could post the pics on here but will leave links to them.
Ps. I am not in either of the videos just showing the activities that take place
Have you ever sat there and someone specific comes to mind? Someone you have not heard from in a while but when he appears you feel nervous but happy . To be honest that's the feeling I have been experiencing when a certain someone appears. I which I could see his face and hear his voice . Just getting a command from him would be just enough. Lately he has been invading my dreams and most nights I wake up panting . Craving for his touch .I he commands anything I am willing to obey .. But the saddest thing is he doesn't know how I feel towards him and I am afraid of his reaction . I wish I could master up the courage to say how I feel then maybe ....A girl can dream ... that she can
Just reflecting on how things changed from celebrating my sweet 25 to having my queen(my mother) hospitalized. I was worried for days on end not hearing her voice or not being able to face time her . I cried and cried because I realised how sudden things change. There are times in live we regret telling others we love and appreciate them although sometimes they maybe the biggest pain in the butt. After days of trying to hear my queens voice ,(my mother ) I finally did . She was crying her heart out telling me how she misses me and my siblings. I wanted to cry but I had to be strong not only for her but for my family . Although she is recovering ,I am also programming myself Incase everything goes down hill. I miss her constant complaining of me not doing things her way or organizing things the way she would do it . I miss her constant nagging and most importantly her words of wisdom. She is a fighter that I am aware of but a softee at heart she cries for everything and for that I am grateful for her . It's been a crazy week so far. Just hoping to see her again
Happy birthday to me. I am both happy and a bit sad at this milestone. Thankful to be alive to see it but sad my father isn't here to enjoy it with me . I have never been a fun of celebrating birthdays that's for sure but this year it's different . This year I lost so many love one and gain some amazing friends . There were a list of things I wanted to accomplish before 25 some I have achieve and others they are still there on the list. I have always been a conservative person but over there past year I have learned to get out of my shell we Caribbean people say ,but its opening up to others and enjoying life . It's a blessing one I am thankful for .cheers to sweet 25 !!
Sometimes when life throws bricks at you it is said to build bridges,but what if you build those bridges and the foundation isn't stable?
We are told to make lemonade with lemons,but what if those lemons look good to the eyes but when the lemonade is made the juice is spoilt?
We all make fancy plans for our lives working and building careers and homes and maybe building fortunes for our love ones and at the end of the day we never enjoyed a moment in silent reflecting how we spent our time on earth with the ones we love?
This year has been a tough and troubling time for everyone. We all are suffering in silence through depression or illness or the lost of a love one .
I can go on and on of the list of love ones and friends I have lost so far and it hurts that most of the times I was never able to attend their burial or speak to them for the last time . Life is a blessing and a gift one we all must cherish the memories made
There's a saying what we love most is what will kill us ,
When I look back at my life's journey ,
There are many things I wish I could change but now I understand the reason why it all happened,
The love a sibling has for another , the love a father has for a child, the care, protection and distance a mother goes to protect a child,
Sometimes we find our loves one's maybe over bearing , but there are reasons for that.
Maybe they are afraid of losing you the same why they lost a child, sibling or relative, or maybe because they spend so much time away and when they do get the time to spend with you their love showering maybe too much.
Sometimes I wonder how life would be if we were able to change what happened in the past.
Maybe make wrongs right, make experience never happen , heartbreak, death and trauma disappear.
Where would we be ?
There are always lessons learn in every step we take in life.
If only we could fully protect the once we love, maybe the world would be better.
Being a brat isn't just something you become. It's in you from the time you are born and gradually it develops with you as you get older. Don't get me wrong when I say there are doms when they walk into a room all the eyes of the submissives are on them without them saying a word. But there are some because of their egos and of their boasting they don't get subs who are not attracted to them. It's ok to show off from time to time but sometimes it can be too much. I admire a dom who says little and but just his ways and actions are worth millions. I am not attracted by what I see but by the way a dom carries a conversation. His confidence, love, and dedication is a key factor to my attraction to him. I despise a dom who thinks that the world revolves around him and feels that he has the right to judge another because he is the ladies' man. I think most men fail to realize not all women are attracted to vanity or to lustful ways but many rather have a decent conversation. I tell you this works wonders. Being too egocentric is never attractive. If I comment on your pic never take my comment to heart, I am just complimenting you. there are so many things to learn in the world of BDSM. Some things are better left unsaid ..........................
respectfully,
toya.
Growing up i was taught that trust is earned but what happens when our trust is earned?
Telling white lies to look amazing?
Making up stories for everyone around you to love you?
Are you really sorry for the trust of persons you have broken?
Or is it just a show of sympathy?
Sometimes I wonder the lengths persons go to try to make themselves look good.
Are you not ashamed that the persons who once looked to you with admiration and respect can't stand to be in the same room as you?
Sometimes I wonder if persons realize the trust they have broken cant be gain again
I wish you the best and to be honest, I am someone if I got a problem I face it head on.
I don't make up lies or break the trust of others to be in the spotlight