Contemplation.

My true domination journey through words.

my Dominant v/s my caregiver

3 years ago. July 21, 2021 at 9:53 PM

i have become aware of a battle going on inside of me..

a battle of a long suppressed dominant energy that is used as by my caregiver and the caregiver energy that is dominating.

in the online Bdsm world i have found its easy to be in my dominance, i find submissive's i have spoken to enjoy the feeling and are interested in being in connection and seeing where it goes.

but when i get to or even visualise a real life connection with a sub, my caregiver steps in and pushed my Dominant self to the back and uses it to add caregiving. i am aware i probably just need more real life experience and i am working on it. i am just uncertain how to put them into balance.

i don't yet know how to surrender to my dominant side and put my caregiver behind. i am enjoying exploring the depths of these parts of myself.

playfulsubkitty(sub female) - I wonder why you feel you need to leave the caregiver behind? I think a great dominant knows how to be both dominant & caring at the same time; forceful and demanding, but his kindness allows him to have the perfect balance.

3 years ago

Sir Observing(dom male) - no i do not want to leave it behind, i just want it to step back and allow my dominance to lead, caregiver is very much me i use it every day to help people in my career. , i just want it to give my dominance space at appropriate times.

3 years ago

HelenaMedici(sub female) - Maybe you just need time you know? Time to get more comfortable with the sub and with the boundaries. My dom is a lot like that.. he was holding back on his dominance cause he thought it might scare or overwhelm me. Sometimes it was a conscious thing, sometimes not. Every case is different of course, so maybe try to analyze the moments when you hold back to find out the cause.

3 years ago

Sweet Ginger(sub female){⚓ } - I agree with playful. It's easy to look for labels and descriptions to define us,, but it's best, I feel to let ourselves be who we are, let our true selves flow organically and see where it takes us in our self-discovery.. perhaps you may find sometimes the caretaker is more prominent and sometimes the dominant ..the right person will accept you for who you are.

3 years ago

Naya - There is no reason why you cannot combine what you feel are two sides.

Let’s take impact play as an example. Let’s say I was your submissive…

You want to be dominating and spank my bottom. So kiss me as you bend me over the table with your fist in my hair. Caress my cheeks as you instruct me to count each strike of your hand and thank you for each one.

Use your kindness to make me beg for another when you think 10 is enough. Be vocal, say what is in your mind with tenacious intent.

Apply this to everything, I would hang off every word.

Start small…let your dominance grow into everything you do with care.

X

3 years ago

Finished(switch female) - Sounds like you have Daddy Dom tendencies….not necessarily wanting a ‘little’ but the caretaking aspect is very much Daddylike.

3 years ago

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Sir Observing​(dom male)

Contemplation.

my Dominant v/s my caregiver

Sir Observing(dom male)