Rose's Thorns.

A general pondering.
2 weeks ago. Tue 05 Jun 2018 06:49:47 PM IDT

of online dating, the world of tinder seems have infultrated everywhere... 

no i dont want to see your dick before i see your face...

2 weeks ago. Tue 05 Jun 2018 04:04:05 PM IDT

There was a place where once a heart was. 

 

Long since dead, 

as much as i miss the dynamic that can be had within this style, which is special type of connection. 

 

Its now burried 6 ft under... 

There are many aspects to my life, as im sure there are for many of you, this is just one. 

 

Sectioning areas out doesnt always work well in the real world. 

This can depend on your version of the real world, what you have going on. 

 

black eyes shine challangeing, 

ohhh how i like to challange maybe a little too much... 

 

Its stiring slowly, but its there, burried 6 ft under,

which is where it will stay... 

 

Dont expect to stop and smell the roses without getting a thorn in your side,

consider this a fair warning. x

;) 

 

Mean while, little miss innocent is queing up to get a coffee, hiding in plain sight. 

you never know who is a shark. 

or a rose with thorns. 

2 weeks ago. Sun 03 Jun 2018 02:52:11 PM IDT

when you get back into the dating game, this in its self can be a difficult one, when you are a BDSM chick and have certain likes it can be more difficult, i really hate online as in really dont like it. Its like trying to fill aplications out in code to try and find others into BDSM, rather than see someone body language and see if you click. There is a difference between online chat and meet places like here and the constantly filling out aplications ect, its exhausting. 

If you Add into this that as a woman im not interested in kids... its not weird okay, im normal but for some reason it gets very weird reactions. That i really dont agree with marrage, i dont think you need it to feel that connected (just personal opinion, it changes for other people) and a long long list of health issues..... 

i really hate dating, basically im a steryotypical guy in some ways, but as a woman the response you get is an interesting one. 

And then are the nights out where men like to grab anything thats on show or not (doesnt seem to matter) and get verbally abusive when your not interested. 

 

sigh... dating, it sucks. 

even just to meet someone who doesnt insult me and the posibility of becoming a friend or having a good afternoon but agree we have different aims shake hands and walk away politely would be a breath of fresh air. 

1 month ago. Tue 15 May 2018 12:23:37 AM IDT

On a lone hill, stood a tree

leaves green swaying in the wind, 

weathered by natural forces, 

it became bent crooked and withered,

brown and bare,

but still it stood tall, 

for all to see. 

 

 

 

 

1 month ago. Sun 13 May 2018 04:24:19 PM IDT

Having a lovely time chilling out with my bestie last night, it was a lovely night going out and just as i said 'being single is awesome' i well jynxed it. 

dancing the night away with my friend was lovely, having some guys come over and put his hands all over me and my ribs causing a panic attack was not... and this my friends is the reality of being a BDSM chick in the real live dating world, consent isnt as explisit in vanilla land. 

Me and my friend look after each other and its a good thing too, as a woman going out when you dance for 5 min and say no its automatically like a knee jerk reaction to act like your ego is attached to you ability to pull and for many men i suppose it can be. 

It still amazes me how many consider BDSM as lewid and offensive with a splash of non consent when the truth is consent is ALWAYS talked about openly first and agreed or disagreed, its actually the opposit. 

Going back to vanilla land can be a really difficult experiance. More so than many might think. 

Ribs are a trigger for me and when in BDSM i know they will not be touched unless i say okay first, when in vanilla land you say no once, twice and again and again and again to no avail, they continue regardless as its not taken seriously. 

The good thing is this hasnt put me off getting back out there but i wanted to share this experiance to show how difficult it can be. 

1 month ago. Tue 08 May 2018 04:55:18 PM IDT

This was a new term to me yeasterday, but a really insightful one. 

Would anyone like to offer there take on it ? 

Here is mine, 

when you go weak at the knees seeing Master, you still can not believe what you did last week, but your pushed until your mind empties and there is no fight left and your flying free, its a wonderful experiance and in some ways the journey is just as good to get there. 

1 month ago. Tue 08 May 2018 04:54:29 PM IDT

This was a new term to me yeasterday, but a really insightful one. 

Would anyone like to offer there take on it ? 

Her is mine, 

when you go weak at the knees seeing Master, you still can not believe what you did last week, but your pushed until your mind empties and there is no fight left and your flying free, its a wonderful experiance and in some ways the journey is just as good to get there. 

1 month ago. Sat 05 May 2018 08:41:29 PM IDT

Im stood at the bar, while you go round and talk to others. Casting the occasional glace at me, you know that look, the one that makes me think you havent eaten in weeks. Going about your buisness and talking to all of these others who i have never met, i walk over catching your eye. I stand just beside you and smile politly at the others, listening to the conversation. I ask if anyone would like a drink and catch your eye... you see a hint of the devil thats inside. I do this for the next two hours every so often showing you the thoughts running through my mind with a look. 

We go to leave and you take my hand and open the door for me, i say ' thank you'. For a moment you let the farcade slip, 'you wont be thanking me latter on'. Your eyes shine momenterally before you chain the beast back up. 

The car ride home is a quiet one, you can feel the tention in the air. 

I lean over and whisper 'why'... 

Both of us are sat in the back of a taxi, trying our best to behave...

I turn so my back is to the driver and stare into your eyes with a fire buring in them and raise my eyebrow...

You have to swollow the erge to spank me and fuck me right there and yes im seriously loving toying with you like this. 

I face the front and act like nothing has happened. 

brusing some hair of my face, you let em know i will pay for that when we get back, your shoulders are squared back straight.

walking through the front door, you sit down and a smile falls over your face,

i may have gone a bit far this time... oops

the door closes and your whole stance has changed you lean over me, backing me into a wall... i am your bait tonight and very happy about it too.

There is no need to tell me to kneel, your body language does that for you, your not happy either.

bending down you wisper to me in a harsh tone 'not yet, get up and bend over, someone has been really rude this evening, teasing and ignoring me' I can hear his voice soften very slightly, in the last few words, i think few i havent pushed too far just enough. 

i bend over the end of the sofa, i can feel the fabric against my soft skin. A hand softly glides over the surface, something feels off before i know it THWAK... using both left and right hands had thrown me off, i ened up moving forward on the sofa. leaning forward and softly whispering 'if you dont keep still, it will just take longer and i have all night...' i can feel my body reacting to his voice, you can see me melt, 'ohhh really?, well you will be waiting a while for that. ' Thwak... 

my mind starts to empty and i relax a little, 

Thwak, this time its a little lower and i bite the inside of my mouth to stop myself from moaning... try not to give the game away ;) i can taste blood... you nudge my legs apart so most of my weight is on the arm of the sofa, softly leaning in, i can feel a bit of your weight, whispering 'dont move' you walk off and i can hear the draws opening in the bedroom. 

At this point, i am in submissive mode, not yet is sub space but on the edge of it. Not able to move agaisnt his comands and wanting more but also very alert and wondering what the hell im doing as my head isnt yet fully quietened... he is fully aware of this and left me and my very masochistic mind to play roulette while going to find some thing that will help. 

I hear but cant see him come back, before i know it i can feel somthing smooth but textured against my skin... its a.... Thwak... yep a spiked weighted paddle (contrary to other opinions, i find the fact its weighted that to me its more brutal), i can hear his breathing change Thwak.. this time i let a half moan half muffled scream leave my mouth, i desperatly try to find something to bite. 

I cant hide anything.... between his deep shallow breaths 'hands behind your back now' i know better that to disobay at this point. damn

Thwak, this time with the smooth side, i cant stop the moans anymore. 

His hands glide over my skin checking how warm my skin is through the fabric. 

Moving round to face me, looking me in the eyes, or trys my head is buryed in the sofa 'you like being here and being mine' Ive gone mute now so just nod with my head stil buryed. Leaning in, 'i care and love you, so you will do me the curtusy of looking at me when i speak to you, understood'

I reluctantly look up at you, your trying to check on me i dont make this easy. (i have never made this easy, i dont do well in vulnerable positions and right now i am) 

After beiefly kissing me on the lips, you move back around and put your hands over my backside and lift up my dress the fabric rubbing on me is an odd sensation. This time you use your hand thwak agaist my skin and again moving it around, thwak, thwak. 

'You can refuse it all you like, but your enjouing this arent you'

I dont respond just wishing i could stop myself from moaning. 

The paddle comes back out along with a cat o nine tails and after three smacks of the paddle (raised side) the cat o nine tails glides over the area, again and again making a criss cross pattern against my skin, ive now given up caring about my moans. 

A few more strikes of the raised paddle with each one i cant stop myself from moaning, i can feel my body reacting as im wet enough its dripping down my legs. I no longer care or give a shit of what i look like... with one exception... im surprised as i feel a tounge gliding up my thigh followed by bites, i give in, i can tell i will have bite marks all up my thighs the next day.

taking my hand and leading me into the bedroom, is followed by at least two hours of making me beg and seeing how big you can make the wet patch in our bed, followed by scratches all down your back and bite marks all over my chest and your shoulders and pleasurable screams, while more bed boards break under us.

Before wrapping your arms around me as i melt into your arms whispering into my ear that you love me, i feel both saited, cared for loved and safe, i turn around and whisper in your ear, ' im yours and only yours, i love you too' every one of my muscles relax in his arms here there is no need to me to be tense or alert, including when he kisses or strokes my ribs, i melt... i belong to him and thats all there is to it. Before falling asleep. 

 

1 month ago. Sat 05 May 2018 04:14:39 AM IDT

in the middle of a crowded room, you can stand alone. 

surrouded by hustle and bussle, never more isolated. 

around friends and more isolated than ever. 

A whisper in a noisy room. 

Music quietens the constant noise of emptyness. 

1 month ago. Sun 29 Apr 2018 09:44:06 PM IDT

taking my BDSM collection out of the bottom draw and checking it over... well its definatly dusty, just reaslied how little its been used in the past two years (as its a new collection). I just havent trusted anyone enough to be able to use this with, including my collar.. i love my collar and i got it with the hope of gifting it to someone someday. Time to show my kit some love by tiding it up and keep it dust free :)