Rose's Thorns.

A general pondering.
4 days ago. Wed 14 Mar 2018 10:33:37 PM IST

i am not one for romance, hugs or cuddles but tonight would have been lovely to go to bed and feel another body pressing into the matress not just mine. :)

5 days ago. Tue 13 Mar 2018 09:44:05 PM IST

I tried again today to go to a munch however the pub had a seperate event on today, it was very busy so busy i couldnt find them.... 

I genuinly dont mean this in a rude way but im craving letting go in a space and being able to be myself, i dont want to worry any newbie who may be struggling with what sub/Dom means. This group is for under 30s and in all honesty im a little nervous of being a pain. If im right there was only 3 there today... its very small. :/ 

Im wanting a place that will push me and that i can grow. somewhere i can be me. 


Four years experiance as a sub and i am tredding water now, i dont want to be challanging for new people or put them off. I have four years experiance plus and like to tease, i dont want this to be off putting, sigh x one day.. 

6 days ago. Tue 13 Mar 2018 06:33:52 PM IST

i have started to feel the need for control and imagining having somone under me, with me guiding them, however im struggling where to put this in my role and will most likely need to consider some growth. I have Domme an individual in the past and this experiance had stressed me out more than i can ever say. Control is an illusion to a Dom/Domme/ Top ect (feel free to disagree) but it is the sub who has the power despite being on there knees. 


The thought of someone being under my guidance is a lovely concept and terifying at the same time, it does bring a smile to my face tho. 


Either that or maybe i just like to run rings around others until i find someone i cant ;) 

1 week ago. Sun 11 Mar 2018 08:57:11 PM IST

Im unsure if other subs would be inclined to agree with me but control is one thing i have over many aspects of my life, it is needed and it is who i am and it keeps me safe. I am this way inclined in all things except one... 

For me to utter the word sir, it is a sign of trust that i can give you this responsibility of me surrendering control. 

For me to kneel takes time and shows a depth of connection. 


my eyes still shine defiant, and this is how they stay, i like to test new Doms to see how the D/s style would work, some see this as bratty it doesnt stay well the bratty doesnt but.. whats life with out a bit of fun... ooops did i forget to do something exactly as you wanted ? 

I am very strong willed and a pain in the backside to many, i dont see that as a bad thing, it depends on compatible styles. 


I will happily be bound without the need for rope but for that to happen you must show me that i can kneel in your presance that it is earned and justified, this is what makes me feel safe and happy. This takes a long time to build and there are not many who take this time to build it, the sad truth is even after being built it can be broken very eaisily. 


Recently i have started to notice a decreese in the 'i am your master...' type messages however they have been replaced with the ' hi i am ...... i am looking to make friends how have you been ?' ect then two days latter 'send me pic of x y z if you wish to be mine' or the 'we get along so now i own you' OR the i am the 'head honcho and the buck stops with me as i am boss man and earn the big bucks' ... seriously... yawn....


Let me make this very clear, i am my own being, i have free will and i decide how to use it aka control over my own decisions. I chose to submit out of my own freewill. It took the last dom six months to a year to make me kneel... 


This may be extreem to some but it is my piece of mind that is my priority, i am so fed up of the i own you noncense and yes it can go past just being rude words, after a couple of dates some men even in vanilla land have some twisted notion that you owe them something, that is not so. 


It takes more than 2 or 3 dates for me to sub and sticking your hand down my top just because no one can see does not count. 

I am a grown woman and know how to look after myself, dont doubt that for a moment. 




(sorry for the rant.. just had to be said)

1 week ago. Thu 08 Mar 2018 06:59:15 PM IST

Masocism for me was alway though of as the physical aspect of pain. I do like pain but not in this sense i enjoy sharp pain and the prolonged session of spanking is very difficult to me to endure i would rather have short sharp pain (just my preference). For this reason i have never identified as masocistic. 

I have had a really big revolation recently....

I am masocistic in a very different way.. psyologically. I have endured a lot in my life and have always seen this as part of the journey, however i have come to the conclusion that i do make tasks a lot harder for myself unintentonally as i enjoy a challange. The more i have thought about this the more i consider myself to the extreeme end of masocisim in this way. 


An insight:

One example is self sabotage as i enjoy challanges and occasionally take this too far. An example would be setting strick time limits and trying to stay within them, it doesnt always go to plan. Or seeing how much of a book i can read in one night with no sleep and get up the next day. I admit these are most likely stupid examples but thats me...


I have many more examples and have pushed myself past boundaries i probably shouldnt have at times. This to me is psycological masochism and most of my day is spent with this unintended partner, i belive i am at the extreeme end of this to the point i have spent months doing tasks i hate just to see if i can... erm not great i admit. 

As mentioned previously i have been in some really shitty situations at some points in time and you just get on with it but at some point i think you become used to operating under that pressure and dont really know what to do when its gone, its like a security blanket a comfort... however this may be very difficult for others to understand.  I see pain and love as the same this my mind cannot seperate them and if i have one without the other i panic. For me this is something i need to work on but it is psycological for example uncomfortable situations are where i am comfy and panic if it is comfy; im an odd one to say the least. It is a good revolation to have but i need to keep in mind if i am uncomfy - aka comfy and safe for me, the other person may not be... comfy they may find it difficult, its important to consider this however as to me its comfy the thought had never crossed my mind previously. 


I am curious now as i had never considered this before and how it would work in a D/s style 

1 week ago. Wed 07 Mar 2018 06:57:58 AM IST

Roses are red, dripping with blood, 

vilots are blue, purple lips ensue,

sugar is sweet, but i am neather to you.  


1 week ago. Wed 07 Mar 2018 01:13:33 AM IST

hi everyone 

i have been offline for a while due to technical issues and moving house, sorry if i havent replied to any messages, i have only just loged back in today. 


3 months ago. Wed 06 Dec 2017 03:53:09 PM IST

there seems to be two catogories that potential partners fall into. 

1, is the insta dom who thinks his word is god and that all shall bow before him without any effort in getting to know the person on the other side, many of us have had messaged along the lines 'you will do.... and follow my command you.....'

2, I have noticed another type seeming to come through, this seems to be along the lines of i am my job and i control everything. Its sooo boring, they seem to think you will fall for them as soon as they tell you there job title and dont understand when you dont. A person is much more than there job, im interested whats on the inside, what interests the person, what do they like and not like. This isnt a helpful attitude and many now seem to think that this equals Dom... it doesnt. 

I have seen a lot of the first type over the years, however the second is more tricky to spot as people do talk about work in general but i have learned a good trick... the next one who says 'do you like that i do this work and im high up for a living'.... i will get the tape measure out; hopefully that might shut them up and prove the point. You are you not your job and not just your dick, you have a brain and a soul and you are a person in its entrieity. it isnt any different to going 'oi love, ive got a big one here for you'. Some 'men' (not Doms) seen to find ever more interesting ways to swing there dicks around... genuinly not interested. 

3 months ago. Tue 05 Dec 2017 10:21:25 PM IST

when a thought becomes stuck and it grows in your mind.... 


..... keeps nagging at your thoughts


it wants you to pay attention to it, it wants you to say yes, 


and still your mind screams no