2 months ago. Sun 21 Jul 2019 01:13:35 AM IDT
Lads. Gentlemen. Masq-folks. All y'all with a penis that you like having.
We need to chat for a moment.
Now, I don't wanna stereotype, but in my experience, there's this phenomenon with some cis, het men on the internet. Lots of cis, het men on the internet.
Y'all. You make your disembodied dick your profile pic. It's just floating there, over your shoved-down boxer-briefs. Usually either in front of a mattress with no sheets on it, or obviously in a bathroom. The background is fairly immaterial, but there's something you need to know-
You are clearly proud of having a penis.
Random people who you message? We aren't impressed. Most men have penises. It's... it's not a rare thing.
Me, I have a whole dishwasher worth of cocks. Cocks in really interesting shapes and sizes. Cocks in pretty, swirly colors. Cocks that never go soft. Cocks that can never give me a disease. Cocks that won't be getting anybody pregnant. Cocks. So many cocks. I can get cocks. I can buy a fucking machine, and have something else fuck me with those cocks. I have a partner with his own cock, and he also has hands he can use to fuck me with the abovementioned cocks.
Now my guys, I see you out there. I see you with nothing but dick pics, with your low-effort as fuck profiles that tell me nothing about you or what you bring to the table other than having a dick. I see you with nothing in your profile filled out, or some generic paragraph about how you are chill and like to fuck. I see your lack of fetishes listed, or just a bunch of stuff about fuckin', and titties and shit. Dudes, this is a kink site, and we who you are contacting are not free-for-use fleshlights.
Unless that's our fetish, of course.
But see, here's the other thing, disembodied dick men- y'all don't even bother to read the profiles we've made an effort to write! You cast this wide-ass gill net on the internet, trawling for pussy. You send messages like "hi" and "what's up" and "hey how are you doing?" You say "I'm really interested in your profile" but you can't tell us why, because you just saw someone with a hole you want and clicked "send," usually with the same message you sent to like 200 other people with a hole you wanted. We can tell.
If your low-effort ass sends me a bunch of generic shit that isn't indicative of a personality whatsoever, and you ask me how I'm doing, I'm gonna tell you my back hurts from having to carry the conversation. "Ask me anything, I'm an open book!" Why the fuck would I do that? Your ass contacted me. Why do I have to do all the work? Let's have an actual adult conversation where we discuss interests and show our personalities.
But you know what? Even if you are just looking for a quick, easy, no-strings fuck (good luck my man) and you are looking for someone who is into the same (does their profile say so, though?) then you need to find a way to stand out. There is a phrase I have seen around the internet lately. "Dick is a cheap and plentiful resource." Billions of people have a dick, and many of them are looking for a place to put it.
Make an effort. Read the profile. Talk about yourself. Show something other than just a disembodied dick. It's emotionally illiterate. Hell, it's sexually illiterate. If you walk around in the street and just whip your dick out and say "hi what's up" your ass is gonna get maced. On the 'net, your ass is gonna get verbally maced. Make some goddamned effort. Show some fucking personality. Give us a reason to actually DESIRE you.
Don't lead with a fucking dick pic.