Today, I'm contemplating the use of titles in the community, and in relationships. This will be a smattering of thoughts that are running through my head at the moment.
Bear in mind, I am speaking generally here, and there is no One Twoo Way. Don't let anybody bullshit you about that. There was also no cohesive homogenous Old Guard with the same rules and customs absolutely everywhere. Customs, policies, and rules have always varied to some degree from group to group.
Anyway.
1. Generally speaking, titles and nicknames are actively negotiated for, not assumed. Trust is earned over time, and using a title requires, at the least, a conversation that establishes mutual consent. Often, and hopefully, there is a "get to know you" time between prospective partners, before roles are committed to, and with them, titles. Therefore, throwing yourself at a stranger's feet and calling her "mistress" is a violation of consent- she didn't agree to be your mistress. Do not presume. Similarly, messaging a random submissive, or even one you just casually know in the scene, and calling them "slut," "baby girl," "kitten," "little one," "pet," "bitch," or whatever else? That will probably get you smacked down, and you will have deserved it.
Informed, enthusiastic consent. It is the heart and soul of this thing that we do.
2. In some of the old guard style communities long ago, people earned titles in the community over time, starting at the bottom and learning their way up. One sees this a lot more in leather communities, specifically, where people "earn their leathers" and a title that eventually comes with it.
HOWEVER
In modern general kink communities, things are far less hierarchical, and titles are not owed anyone. It must be consented to. Given that, you cannot "cheat code" your way into being called "Master" by everyone simply by including it in your fet name! If somebody shows up and their fet name is "LordMasterDomlyPants III" I don't have to call them that. I can just call them "Pants." They aren't entitled to me calling them Lord Master just because it is in there name.
There are a few people who are truly experts and masters in their craft that I may call "Master Such-and-such" because they have, in my eyes, earned that title, as a master of their abilities... but that does not make them MY master. And, like always, their consent matters as well. I only do this for those whom I deeply respect and who openly use the title. STILL, no one is obligated to.
3. "Sir" and "Master" are used by a lot of people, and these days, "Master" doesn't necessarily mean an M/s dynamic. I have also seen some D/s relationships that were more strict and high-protocol than some M/s relationships. It doesn't do to assume- no One Twoo Way, remember?
"Lord," at one point, in many of the older-school communities, specifically denoted a member of the community who was married to their kink partner that they were in a power exchange relationship with. I don't really see or hear about that much any more, nor do I see the title much these days. When I do, it rarely seems to have anything to do with their relationship status. Still, fun fact.
4. Not everybody needs a title to have a real, deep power exchange relationship. It is totally fine to be "Joe" and "Susan." That dynamic is just as real as that of LordMasterDomlypants II and PrincessKittenBabygirlXX. Also easier to say in casual conversation. Heh.
So, what titles do you use, or do you use them at all? What do you prefer?