Many moons, many thoughts

She’s the one that does everything for everyone with a smile on her face.

Her people marvel at her strength and praise her ferocity.

But what they don’t know about this strong woman, what they don’t realize is that even I have my moments of weakness.

The minutes that I spend stepping back from the world, recollecting myself and so deeply with the weight of my life, it some what overwhelms me.

But then I do what i do best:

Pull myself together, wipe away the tears and recompose myself … and no one ever even notices a difference.

I'm so happy doing what i do and being who I am , but there are just those random fleeting moments where I wishes for once, someone would take charge and take care of Me!. 

Truthfully, i feel weak and guilty but sometimes, it just gets hard always being the rock, the strong woman that can do anything and be everything.

My entire life, I've been forced to be the way the way I am,  so I just did what i had to do and never depended on anyone for what I could do myself.

So, when the weariness overtakes me, i quietly muse that how I longs to be able to step back and be taken care of..

I always be that strong person able to overcome anything, but even I must rest-

Not the kind that requires sleep, but the deeper soul recharging sort of respite.

So, I will just smile and wistfully hope that one day, maybe l will find that brave soul strong enough to be my equal and be my refuge when i need it…

Until that day, i keep doing what I so best

Living fully, loving hard and being the strong woman that does it all.

💜💜💜

I here the lessons being taught to me by the Gods.

Breath they say,

sleep for while as you will  need your strength.

Many battles and true delights that we have planned for you.

Rest now my child in the arms of love..

Listen to the lessons you have traveled through.

Take them with humility dear sister.

There are many more wisdoms and truth to see once you have rested.

We are guarding your light.

Your mind is now open to so many new things but do not ever forget your history warrior queen.

Too  many battles you have fought for your freedom to see.

So rest now my child sleep Deeply Await your calling with peace of heart while your mind, body and soul are healing.

Blessed be 💜💜💜

Goddess..

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

the courage to change the things I can,

and a dragon.

A mother fucking fire breathing dragon..

To burn all the liar's.. bridge need to be burned.

Rise in me Lilith Rise..

,💜

There she is. . . the “too much” woman. The one who loves too hard, feels too deeply, asks too often, desires too much.

There she is taking up too much space, with her laughter, her curves, her honesty, her sexuality. Her presence is as tall as a tree, as wide as a mountain. Her energy occupies every crevice of the room. Too much space she takes.

There she is causing a ruckus with her persistent wanting, too much wanting. She desires a lot, wants everything—too much happiness, too much alone time, too much pleasure. She’ll go through brimstone, murky river, and hellfire to get it. She’ll risk all to quell the longings of her heart and body. This makes her dangerous.

She is dangerous.

And there she goes, that “too much” woman, making people think too much, feel too much, swoon too much. She with her authentic prose and a self-assuredness in the way she carries herself. She with her belly laughs and her insatiable appetite and her proneness to fiery passion. All eyes on her, thinking she’s hot shit.

Oh, that “too much” woman. . . too loud, too vibrant, too honest, too emotional, too smart, too intense, too pretty, too difficult, too sensitive, too wild, too intimidating, too successful, too fat, too strong, too political, too joyous, too needy—too much.

She should simmer down a bit, be taken down a couple notches. Someone should put her back in a more respectable place. Someone should tell her.

Here I am. . . a Too Much Woman, with my too-tender heart and my too-much emotions.

A hedonist, feminist, pleasure seeker, empath. I want a lot—justice, sincerity, spaciousness, ease, intimacy, actualization, respect, to be seen, to be understood, your undivided attention, and all of your promises to be kept.

I’ve been called high maintenance because I want what I want, and intimidating because of the space I occupy. I’ve been called selfish because I am self-loving. I’ve been called a witch because I know how to heal myself.

And still. . . I rise..

fail splendidly fall spectacularly

fuck it up mercilessly

i am less interested in your successes 

and more interested in the ravenous heart

that led you, one more time,

to get back up again

sweaty and bruised and laughing 

at your own brilliant fractured humanity

flailing and failing but flying

oh yes, my dear, flying

look at you go,  you sore like the Eagles

Pick yourself up and fuck it all..

💜💜💜

When God Was a Woman 

There was no ink or pen 

Or alphabet 

No language of knowing 

Just the kiss of direct experience 

That mystery that cannot be grasped 

That may only be 

Received 

The revelation of creation 

Contained inside one 

Single 

Breath 

The scripture of love 

Through the swollen flesh of 

One caress 

No way to comprehend 

Just that holy space that opens 

In your listening  

Just the illumination of 

Receiving 

Just that understanding 

That is not understanding 

The one that is only known in 

Making Love 

Just the one that is the milk of 

Yearning 

That is the heart of Be-ing

Just that One taste 

That is the only

Taste  

The one that is never 

Not 

Given

Pulsing with wonder

In the Belly of

Creation 

No where to go 

No separation 

Just the swirling of her hips 

To bring us home

“What is the Wild Woman?”

“She is the female soul…

She is the source of the feminine. 

She is all that is of instinct, 

of the worlds both seen and hidden

She encourages humans to remain multilingual; 

fluent in the languages of dreams, passion, and poetry. 

She whispers from night dreams

She is ideas, feelings, urges, and memory. 

She has been lost and half forgotten for a long, long time. 

She is the source, the light, the night, the dark, and daybreak. 

She is the smell of good mud and the back leg of the fox. 

The birds which tell us secrets belong to her. 

She is the voice that says, “This way, this way.

I walked barefoot on the earth

My feet touching the body of my mother

My body, Her body.

I bathed under silvery moonlight

In waters glimmering from her shine

My body touching Her body.

Once a month when the moon released

I too released

Giving my life blood back to the Mother

Nourishing her as she nourished me

Mother and daughter in synchronous alignment

My body, Her body.

Then the sky god came

And his people told me I was evil

That my body was shameful and I should cover it

That to bathe naked under the moonlight was satan’s work

And I should cover my body.

That my lifeblood released with the dark moon

Was the most evil of all

And during this time I was unclean

And I should be hidden away

And my body covered.

No longer was I allowed to connect to my Mother

No longer was I allowed to stand in my nakedness

Or to revel in the shimmering moonlight

They told me I was evil

They told me I was shameful.

They told me I was dirty.

Then they tossed me out of the garden

My body, Her body.

Well no more!

The veil has fallen from my face

No longer will I cover my hair, my body

I am ALL the things they told me NOT to be

ALL the things they told me I COULD not be.

I AM Lilith

And

I stand in MY Sovereignty.

Screaming forth...

I. Will. Not. Submit.

AND...

You will not get my anger

You will not label my juicy parts evil

Nor will you culturally codify them as shadow

Something to be feared

Something to be hidden.

I am ALL the things you told me NOT to be

All the things you told me I COULD not be

All the things that make me woman.

AND...

I will dance under the light of the full moon

Illuminating the ALL of woman.

I will revel in my divinity, my dark, moist woman-ness

I will shine like the stars from whence I came

I will walk naked on the wet, moist earth

For My body is Her body.

Standing in my sovereignty

I re-claim all.

My body.

Her body.

The Light

AND

The Dark.

No longer will I live in the Shadows

For now I dance in the Full Moon light.

Embracing all your namings of me...

Dark Moon Lilith.

Black Moon Lilith.

I.M. LILITH!

Let the Revolution begin.

💜💜💜

''Women!

Do not let the ancestral memory of this that is held in your make up, in your bones and blood hold you back.

Rise dear sweet sisters, rise so that our daughters and daughters daughters don’t have to wonder when we lost our tongues and denied our hearts.

Grow a new tongue, invite the wolf in, awaken the witch and dance under the moon.

Embrace your heart, your womb, your gut and your wisdom.

Roar dear sister, break the silence and take back your power so the young ones won’t have to.''

Blessed be 💜💜💜