This is a continuation of my prior entry, one of the most surreal nights of our lives, when we ventured to the city for our first munch and dungeon party. Us! Who would have thought?!?
Before we left the preceding munch, out host, Meat Candy, went over some of the protocol and rules of the party. This went a long way to set expectations for us for what was to follow. As before, some of this will be old hat for the veterans to the scene, but it is my hope that what I share will provide some comfort and courage to those that have not yet ventured out into the great beyond of public BDSM.
For starters, he explained the concept of CONSENT, the #1 most important rule across the board. We would see people in various states of dress and undress, but that this was not a signal that it is OK to touch. Every touch and action, particularly with those we would meet that night, had to be preceded with clear permission to do so. We would obviously be witnessing some scenes - bondage, suspensions, fireplay for example - but a public scene is not automatically permission to participate in any way in the scene. Watching is fine, but touching is not, and even commenting or interacting in any way in the scene means you are part of the scene, which can at best distract the participants and at worst pull them out of “the zone” or even cause a safety issue. The word “RED” is the universal safe word - when it is said, the scene stops dead and assistance will be provided if necessary. No drugs, no alcohol. NO CELL PHONES. And he encouraged, if it is our first event, to observe carefully before participating. Penetration was not permitted, Clean your play area after use. There was more, but this covered the basic ground.
We paraded a few blocks and wound our way into a sketchy, steam pipe warehouse alleyway, through a virtually unmarked door and up a couple flights of dingy staircase, paying admission (typically $10-$25 depending) to an attendant sitting at a card table at the top. Look, these places aren’t well-thought of publicly, and they aren’t looking for browsers and walk-ins. So be prepared, the exteriors are discreet and often less than appealing.
We entered the club, greeted with the thump thump thump of club music and dim lights. We checked our coats and wandered about. Those that were at the munch began to change from their street clothes to fetishwear, underwear or flat out nudity. There were full-on latex catsuits, cat ears and tails, steampunk, lingerie, even an adult baby or two.
As I mentioned in my munch entry, this was a cross section of humanity in every age, shape and color. That said, I struggle to put into words the utter beauty and freedom and equality that everyone was capable of experiencing here. It was not the airbrushed porn stars running around, smiling and topless, but anyone that wanted to. And they were beautiful, all of them in their spirit, in their courage, in their acceptance of each other, in their utter freedom to be themselves, hidden away from a world that might have hurt them, or reject them or degrade them. The body positivity was, to say the least, unmatched by anything we had ever seen before, and utterly refreshing.
The dungeon was crowded, separated into a lobby and four “scene” rooms each equipped with various pieces of furniture including cages, spanking benches, St Andrews crosses, suspension rigs, a medical bed, a bondage chair, various beds for various purposes.
When we walked into the first room, there was already a suspension scene going on, with a woman strung up upside down, one leg stretched out, being alternately paddled and tickled, screaming and doing her best to block the shots and groan in frustration and pain. A small crowd was gathered only a few feet away, in a semi-circle, watching with wrapt attention. The cross and cage in the room were going unused - in tight quarters, it was hard to imagine multiple scenes happening.
We walked into the next room, where a Dom was expertly flogging a young naked woman on the spanking bench. She was not tied, and she was grinning and moaning her approval. We stayed and watched from only three feet away for quite sometime, seated on a black bed atop an empty cage. We marveled at the continuous, tender care he provided, in sharp contrast to the less-than-gentle attacks with the floggers, which he eventually traded for a blade to switch to knife play. A sign taped to the bench indicated that she was open to others participating, subject to her and the Dom’s approval. A pair of young women took her up on it. One of them, dressed in a Victorian corset, garters and stockings, clearly had experience, displaying some mad ninja skills with a pair of floggers. The other was newer, less experienced, but the unexpected happened. The original Dom took her under his wing, demonstrating better technique (“stand back this far... use your arm like this... strike here and here, not here”), which improved the experience for all of them. They all embraced to the tearful gratitude of the submissive at the end, then cleaned the area for the next players who promptly took over.
Being two days before Christmas, they made an announcement for the kinky white elephant gift exchange. Everyone had brought a wrapped gift, names were drawn from a hat and traditional “yankee swap” rules ensued, with dollar charges for round immunity. The hosts were hilarious and really played up each gift. We contributed a wooden “cheese board” that clearly doubled as a paddle, and it was the hit of the party, raising $15 in immunity donations to TES. Other gifts included vibrators, riding crops and costume items. We ended up with a panel ball-gag (Felicia snatched it up). It was a lot of fun, and a good way to learn more names.
As the evening progressed, we witnessed a fireplay demonstration, and a Domme “torturing” a submissive male with an electro wand. Our friend from the munch got his wish, being strung up and blindfolded in various positions for both flogging and sensation play. We saw a man bound by a pair of dommes, his testicles clamped in a vice. We saw a babygirl cuddling her teddy bear in a cage, and a puppygirl being led on a leash. A guy strapped his girlfriend to a medical bed for sensation play.
I can honestly tell you, I was on sensory overload. It didn’t seem real, more like a dream that couldn’t possibly be happening. Felicia and I were both uncharacteristically quiet throughout the evening, observing and sharing observations with each other in shared whispers. We shopped a table full of custom-made cuffs and implements (didn’t buy though I wish I had bought one of the suede floggers or dragon’s tail).
Felicia was propositioned once, politely, by a guy we had met at the munch, who wanted to know if we play with others. Again, something that took us aback was how open people were with what they talk about, and how we could not be offended by such an offer, but rather, well, flattered. Yeah, we still got it!
We finally made our way out at nearly 1AM, making our way to the garage in relative silence, trying to let our brains catch up until we could debrief like chatterboxes on the way home at the amazing experience we had just had, and the unexpected takeaways:
Body positivity. Safe environment. Courteous, helpful, people. Inviting atmosphere. Kindness of strangers. No one was left out. Freedom. Beauty. Courage. Pleasure.
How many places can you name that have these things?
I hope I have translated our first experience into words that might help you, dear reader and fellow kinkster, to make the leap and venture out for yourself. If you are wondering if we enjoyed ourselves, I trust my words have expressed that, but if not, rest assured, we went twice more within a month’s time.
Feel free to add questions or comments below, or “Bond” us, and we wish you all the happiness in the world on your various journeys! Maybe you’ll join us sometime!
Much love,
~Kal and Felicia
