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Thoughts on a cloud

Just a random collection of life stories, including many bizarre things that happen to me
2 months ago. September 7, 2022 at 8:14 AM

So, to start with there are now photos of me on here because I figured you'd all want to see the face behind the voice of sarcasm ... should that have said reason.


My relationship with my last partner has ended, mainly due to the fact that I'll be moving some 5 hours away soon and I'm already an hour and a half away so, they didn't want long distance and to be honest I got the distinct impression she was bored. I did try to keep things lively and active but between the distance, the lack of opportunity to see one another and the fact that once she made her mind up, she made her mind up. Still c'est la vie.


What this does mean is that I may go quiet for a few months, although I will try to respond to messages as I don't really get overwhelmed and I'll have some spare time.


Hopefully speak to you weirdos soon.


3 months ago. August 7, 2022 at 4:31 PM

FUCKING SIDEWAYS... I tell you, you get comfortable for more than 10 seconds and the universe just shits in your bonsai tree it really does.

So I can't go into details BUUUUUUT life is sucking a bit.

Some projects are behind.

Some relationships are having their final bell tolled.

Some takeout orders turned up yesterday without my bloody garlic bread .... Jaysus Fooking Wept.


The relationship isn't on the rocks, we both like each other we get on well and enjoy time spent together, but the time isn't that long, and has been getting further apart. And pretty soon we're going to end up on opposite sides of the country.

It was good ... but its gonna end soon I feel, and that's sad


Still an undeniable truth of relationships in my past is that every woman who I have dated has found the one pretty much straight after, so she's in great hands apparently lol.


I guess this is a ranty type of blog, no one really wants to hear about Doms who don't have 100% of control 100% of the time but you know what?


We don't,


Sometimes we flounder, we hit our heads against brick walls, we get stuck in a rut.

We just get back up and plough on, and that's just what I'll have to do.


I give myself 15 minutes a day to feel sorry for myself, everything else is for moving on.


3 months ago. August 5, 2022 at 8:33 PM

I need help completing a predicament Bondage idea .... and thought I would turn to you lovely lot.


So the idea is do perform predicament with a pair of these ""

The sub (while kneeling and with hands on head or tied behind back or put wherever you feel like putting them) will have one part of the loop of chain in their mouth and the other will be holding a small weight (kinda like the ones you used in science experiments in school sorta like these: ""


NOW the predicament I envision is that the sub has to either keep their end of chain in their mouth or their nipples take the full weight of the ... well the weight.


But I can't figure out in my head currently how I would entice them into dropping the chain from the mouth short of leaving them there till they got bored!


I could try using a nose hook and slowly tighten it until they have to let go or I could put something like honey on the chain so they salivate till they drop it ... I have ideas but nothing that is making me go "AHA that is what I shall do!"


So Doms and subs of the cage ... give me your best ideas!!!

4 months ago. July 17, 2022 at 7:45 PM

In the UK it is entirely too bloody warm.


I've also had a chance to go through my kit bag and sort out my rope properly so there's that.


There also seems to be a recent surge of people advertising themselves in their blogs which to each there own, but I do wonder if the know about the personals tab.


I'm still plodding along and hope all you wonderfully weird kinksters are as well.



10 months ago. January 7, 2022 at 5:00 PM

Yup bit late on that train I know but I was visiting family so no apologies,


So New Year, New opportunities, New Ideas?


Well this one probably isn't a new idea and many may have tried it but I will put it up here for all to consider.


So the idea is, a bag ... a nondescript every day bag, could be a sports bag or something a bit more upmarket it doesn't matter. 


What matters is the contents!

In my head here's how it would work.

I agree a play day with my sub, probably won't be the only day of the week that I "play" with them but this day in particular is special, why? Because of course the bag!


At the beginning of the week I will put things into the bag, say a pair of handcuffs, a blindfold, a flogger and some nipple clamps. (The world at this point is your oyster but do not put EVERYTHING in there, you'll see why in  a moment)


Inform sub that contents of this bag will be used in full on the set day, whether they enjoy implements or not is irrelevant.


Now say I start on Monday and the day I pick is Friday. they have 5 days maximum to influence the outcome of the day.


If the sub behaves/ does as they are told/ performs exceptionally throughout the week they may add an item they would like used to the bag or contrariwise remove an item they would dislike from the bag.

(Example being on Tuesday evening my sub performs amazing oral sex on me, the reward is the choice to add or remove something.)


Likewise if the sub performs poorly or does not behave or brats about when they shouldn't an item they like can be removed or one they dislike can be added.


You see where I'm going with this?


Come Friday the contents of the bag are used in a play session and I think its a neat background game to play with each other throughout the week.

Also this could work with a long distance dynamic as tasks could be assigned over web/phone and rewards could be placed into a bag for a meetup or in a bag at the subs house where they cannot interfere with the contents without the Doms/Dommes permission.


Tell me what you think below.


also enjoy that joke


11 months ago. December 5, 2021 at 3:15 PM

'Sup you kinky S.O.B.s.

So I find myself in a bind (pun intended). I'm looking to get back into doing some rope work, always liked a good shibari, I've done bits and bobs with partners but nothing intensive generally none of them were rope bunnies.


UNFORTUNATELY due to a mold outbreak at my last flat (and my asshat of a landlord) I lost all the rope, store in a cool dry place guys it catches mold like you wouldn't believe, So wondering if anyone can point me to a reputable-ish corner of the internet where I can buy more.


And while I have your attention any literature on new ties because I'd find that an interesting read as well.


Ta muchly


11 months ago. December 4, 2021 at 3:59 PM

I watched Sarah through the doorway, I had been leaning on the door frame for the last 5 minutes observing the way she tried to stay calm with no sight, I knew she was imagining me swooping down on her at any moment pinning her to the floor and taking her. I heard her soft moans as she tried to work the ball gag around her mouth, a trail of drool started to form from the gag and dripped down onto her breasts. I saw her twitch as the unconscious impulse to wipe it away was suppressed. She didn’t know I was watching, her moans intensified as the drool ran slowly down her body. Finally, slowly so as not to get caught, she reached up to wipe at her face.

“Don’t move.” I commanded.

This time she jumped for real, her hand snapping back down to Nadu so fast she almost slapped her own leg. Her breathing quick, I stalked behind her taking both wrists and fastening them into leather cuffs behind her back.

“You don’t move until I tell you to” I growled low in her ear, she nodded in response whimpering as my fingers slowly traced the path her drool had left down her body. I circled her nipple lightly with my fingers and her head rolled back into my shoulder as the pleasure and anticipation pulsed through her. My hand snaked lower across her abdomen, reflexively she tried to thrust her hips towards my hand as it rested on her inner thigh.

“Such a messy slut” I whispered running my tongue around her ear, she nodded slowly. “I have just the thing for you.” Pulling Sarah back away from the wall I push her head down into the carpet. “Show me my pussy”

Pushing her head deeper into the rough carpet she raised her ass up for my inspection, I could see how slick she is between her legs. I barely need to lube the vibrating egg as I push it inside her swollen lips. Her moans as it pushes into her making me painfully hard, I have to stop myself from tearing into her. I want it now, to feel her hot cunt squeezing my cock as it rams into her to listen to her climax through her gag, to pull out and spread my cum all over her quivering body, marking her as mine.

I take deep shaking breaths to control myself when I noticed Sarah returning to a kneeling position, I grab a handful of hair and force her back down My other hand pulling her ass back up “That is the second time You have moved without permission.” I spank her ass on one side then the other, she squeals through the gag as I. “I will not tolerate disobedience from you, you will take another 10 on each side as punishment do you understand?” She nods her compliance. My hand falls on her again 2 slaps each side, her ass starting to turn red and she mewls pitifully through the gag as my hand caresses each cheek, squeezing gently on each side. My hand passes in between her legs feeling her wetness on my fingers as she shudders under my grip, before she has time to finish registering the pleasure I’ve already laid another 2 spanks on her.

I alternate with her punishment, changing my rhythm and force so that she can’t predict when or how the next strike will land. By the time I’m finished Sarah’s ass is blazing red. Pulling her upright I unbuckle the gag “Are you going to disappoint me again?”

“No Sir,” she gasps running her tongue around her lips to try and clear the last of her drool “Sorry Sir.”

I use the collar to pull her towards me, kissing her deeply, when I pull away she leaves her mouth open slightly panting for breath.

“While I’d like to believe your apology, you have a lot to apologise for.”


“You made a mess all over my jeans earlier so now I’m going to make you apologise like the slut you are.”

I clipped a short leash to her collar and pulled her up to her feet, I made sure to walk backwards as I pulled her into the living room so that I could admire Sarah’s naked, bound and blindfolded form as she tried to carefully find her footing. A sharp tug of the leash sent her stumbling forward into me with a gasp, an opportunity I used to feel her ass again.

“Kneel!” I commanded.

She dropped to her knees, I pulled upwards on the leash cupping her chin in my hand.

“What are you?”

“I’m a slut sir”

“And what do you want?”

“I want to be used Sir.”

“By anyone?”

“No Sir, Only by you Sir.”

“Open your mouth, show me your tongue.”

Dutifully Sarah opened her mouth wide and held her tongue out for me, unzipping my jeans I pulled out my cock, now achingly hard, I placed the tip on her tongue and she began rolling it around the head.

“Tongue only” I instructed.

She complied with enthusiasm running her tongue down my shaft and up again, lapping at it as though her life depended on it. The feel of her wet tongue sent shivers across my body, in an attempt to control it My entire body tensed and released. Sarah must have noticed because she doubled down in her efforts.

“Does that taste good?”

“Yes Sir it do…mmph.” I push my cock into her mouth mid-sentence. She reacts in surprise I can feel her tongue pressing against me but she adjusts herself and begins taking me deep in her mouth. Her lips gripping me and sliding up and down my shaft as I feel the back of her throat at my tip.

“You’re such a dirty whore aren’t you.” Its not a question, it never is for her. She is on her knees helpless as one hand rests on her head and the other holds her leash tight. As she has been taught, she answers my question even with my cock gagging her mouth, while all that comes out is unintelligible and spit that further lubricates me the vibrations from her throat add to my pleasure.

I can feel myself losing control, the desire to pound her throat raw as a thousand voices in my head all tell me to claim what is mine. Again I breathe in deep through my nose and slowly out through my mouth. I must maintain control, I have more to enjoy of Sarah yet.

I pull myself free of her mouth, a disappointed groan escapes me. She smiles at that, it’s a small victory for her and I feel she has earned it.

“Aren’t you just a greedy little whore?” I ask with a smirk

“Yes Sir,” she says once she finds her voice “I am an insatiable slut.”

“And what do you think I’m going to do with you?”

“Use me, please Sir.” There’s a tinge of desperation in her voice now, she wants to feel me inside her, the knowledge makes me even more excited “Use me in anyway you please, I want to be your good little slave.”

I pull her up off her knees the dampness that was in her pussy is now over her legs as well.

“Oh I think I have just the thing for you.” I pull sharply on the leash again and walk her back into the corridor towards the bedroom. Watching as her hips sway with her hands bound.

And I knew I was going to have fun!

1 year ago. November 24, 2021 at 3:35 PM

Some days I wake up and the world is merely an annoyance.

This morning however I woke up and chose anger. Pros: gym session was a great way of burning some of it off. Cons: I want to watch the world burn.


Anyone else get these days?

1 year ago. November 16, 2021 at 6:43 PM

Original challenge posted here


here's my entry I can't do country songs or southern accents so mine is in limerick form.


The challenge was laid down and recorded

To make a poem that would be applauded

About BDSM and the desperation of men

Who take the themes then distort it.


The instadoms spend lots of time,

Finding young ladies online,

The promise and preach

And try to beseech

With the mental age of at least nine,


Time again I’ve heard it be said,

He just wants to get me in bed,

With a collar and cuffs,

And some kinky stuffs,

But I tell him I’d rather be dead.


The instasubs act much the same,

And frankly its terribly lame,

When they try to implore you,

But choose to ignore you,

When you call them out on their games.


For me its more like a dance

Where you take your time then advance.

But the instas throw paddys,

Screaming please train me daddy

And I think “No fucking chance.”


So let me finish by saying,

That though there are some that are playing.

The Community here

Is full of great cheer.

And so Ladies and Gents I am staying.

1 year ago. November 15, 2021 at 6:23 PM

Authors note, this is my retelling of a time a few years back when I had a very submissive partner, some of the finer details have been lost to memory (but not many) and I have made name changes where appropriate. And to make it more entertaining for the masses I may embellish the language a bit for ease of reading.


It started with a poker game, the weather had been awful and Sarah (not real name duh) had driven to see me for the weekend. Unable to go out and actually wonder around we had decided to buy two bags of Haribo from the supermarket when we went shopping and decided to break out a pack of cards and, using the Haribo as betting chips, see who could attain diabetes first.

Short version I did, Sarah could not play poker.

As I was gathering my winnings into a bowl Sarah shuffles the deck and asks “How about another round?” I was intrigued, her previous visits had been similar in nature, we would go out and see a film or visit a local tourist spot have some lunch and when we got back, she would be both incredibly horny and want to play with my collection of BDSM equipment. She would get this gleam in her eye the longer we pretended everything was vanilla, a desperation and expectation mixed in together.

It would turn into a game, I would remain collected and watch the desire on her face grow to breaking point, then it would come down to who went first, would I give her an order or would she beg me for my Dominance?

“You have nothing left to bet” I said feigning ignorance as she fidgeted on the sofa.

“I have my necklace?” she chimed hopefully.

I paused putting the sweets into a bowl and looked at her with a raised eyebrow “And how many of these,” I shook the bowl slightly “Is that worth?”

She bit her lip, something she knew I found incredibly erotic when she did it the right way, she was trying for distraction.

“I’d say 20?”

I kept my face as impassive as possible

“15” was my reply, I wanted to see if she’d argue, challenge me on this.

She didn’t and after the next round I was two bags of sweets and a necklace up.

“I’ll bet you 50 against your top” I said casually.

And that’s how the game of strip poker started, it was unfortunate that Sarah was either bad at poker or unlucky, soon she was naked opposite me on the corner sofa trying in vain to cover herself with her hands as she held her cards. Fortunately, she couldn’t quite cover herself up and I was treated to a full view of her.

At this point I was hard, the look of embarrassment on her face coupled with her attempts at preserving her dignity and the knowledge that she was aroused by her situation created a melting boiling sensation in the pit of my stomach. I knew I only had to give her an order, instruct her to do anything and she would instantly comply, free from the responsibility of choice, to dance as a puppet on my strings.

As that thought went through my head I wondered if she was actually capable of dancing for me. I tucked that thought into the back of my head as I made for the coup de grace.

“Well” I said picking up my bowl of sweets and carefully folded pile of clothes “I guess that makes me the winner”

Her hands dropped and her head snapped up as I walked to the kitchen side (I had a small flat the kitchen/living area was open plan) I could tell she was confused, surely the game couldn’t be over.

“Unless you have anything else to bet?” I continued, turning back to the sofa Sarah’s face had flushed.

“What did you have in mind?” She sounded hesitant but I knew that she knew what the answer would be.

“Your submission, for the rest of the weekend.” Sarah’s mouth twitched into a small smile “You will have your safe words, but everything else from the clothes you wear to the actions you perform will be decided on by me.”

I handed her the deck to shuffle, mainly because she couldn’t cover herself and shuffle at the same time and I wanted to appreciate her breasts from my comfortable spot on the sofa. She paused, weighing up my offer.

This was a key theme in our dynamic, it wasn’t enough for me to just take control of her. Although when the mood took us that’s how we played it, for us she had to give me that control, to surrender it to me.

We made no fancy bets this time, we simply turned the table cards over and revealed our hands…

I remember the look on her face as her final hand failed, a mix of anxiety and excitement about what I would do to her.

There was a pause as I watched her running through scenarios in her head, she met my eye and I could read the excitement on her face.

“Straddle” I said pointing at my lap.

I will give Sarah credit, rather than simply standing up and walking across to me, she crawled slowly along the corner sofa, her hips swaying with each movement catching my eye. When she reached me, she stretched her leg across me and put her arms out either side of my head to steady herself. I could hear her breathing softly waiting for the next command.

I placed one hand in her shoulder length brown hair and, taking a fistful pulled her head back slightly whilst my other hand pulled her hips into mine. She gasped as I ran my tongue around her nipple slowly tracing over it before gently biting down between my teeth, she moaned and I could feel her try to adjust herself on my jeans. I took the hand holding her hips and spanked her on her ass once.

“Don’t move!”

“Yes Sir” she gasped.

“I want you to understand” I said clearly moving my hand between her legs and feeling her wetness against my fingers, I slowly circled them watching the expression of desire on her face as she let out a low moan “You are my property until I say otherwise or the weekend ends, I will collar you, cuff you, gag you, tease you and use you for my sexual pleasure. Do you understand?”

“Yes Sir” she whispered, trying desperately to not move against my fingers.

“If you are argumentative, difficult or fail in any of the tasks I give you I will punish you appropriately” I pulled her head down to mine so I could whisper softly in her ear “but if you are good, I will bring you pleasure you can’t imagine. Do you understand?”

Sarah’s body stiffened as my words caressed her flushed cheek, her response was an equally soft whimper of need.


I took my hand and again slapped her ass.

“Yes what?”

“Yes Sir”

I took the hand that had been exploring her cunt and pushed the fingers into her mouth, her tongue exploring them hungrily, my other hand moved from her hair to her neck I gave a soft exertion of pressure before cupping her breast.

“Grind on me.” I ordered

Sarah’s hips began to push against mine rubbing her wet pussy on my jeans, now straining against my cock, I squeezed a nipple between my thumb and forefinger, her eyes closed and her moans vibrating through my fingers as her tongue still greedily lapped at my fingers. She started to breath harder, her hips moving faster and more urgently.

Part of me wanted to see her come on me from this, but I wanted her to stay desperate for just a while longer.

“Enough” I said before she could climax. “Get on the floor on all fours.”

She stopped slowly, the same way a wind-up toy slowly comes to a halt, I could feel how badly she wanted to continue. To seduce me into allowing her more time, when I had watched her enough, I gave her two words “Now. Slave.”

Shakily she stood up off of me and I saw her legs tremble as she went to all fours, she had left a wet patch on my jeans, I would have to wash those later, but for now my mind was racing, all the things I could do to this woman, all the dark and twisted games from the corners of my mind flooding in each clamoring for attention, wanting to be chosen as the days punishment or pleasure. I could feel the bubbling fire behind my stomach that churning excitement that I feel when a woman submits herself to me. I knew that Sarah would do anything I commanded her to I could raise her up to the highest of heights or crush her completely it was all within my power to do. An intoxicating feeling that left me having to calm and collect myself.

I took a deep breath, and focused on the woman in front of me.

“Let’s put your collar on” I said, managing to level my voice against my desire and excitement.

“Yes Sir” She responded, and started off at that slow sexy crawl towards the bedroom, I followed behind watching her hips sway, I could have pushed her head down into the carpet and taken her right there, but again I waited, I knew she was trying to cajole a response from me but I wasn’t about to give her the satisfaction … not that kind anyway.

At the bedroom door I stopped her with my hand at the back of her neck.

“Face the wall” I said simply “Nadu.”

Sarah complied, I went into the bedroom, and fetched from under the bed my box of tricks and toys.

(I shit you not we called it the sex-box 360, it was the second box … anyway back to it)

I came back into the corridor and crouched behind Sarah I slowly snaked my index finger from the base of her spine to the top of her neck, watching the goosepimples form from my touch. I then raked my fingernails back down, her shoulders flexed as the sensations ran along her skin.

“Be still and raise your chin.”

She complied instantly, the Collar she expected, and I could almost feel the smile on her face as I clicked the popper in place to fasten it.

What she wasn’t expecting quite as much was the blindfold placed over her eyes, or as she gasped the ball gag that I fastened in place in between her teeth.

“mmmph, o, air” came the muffled outcry, but she was faking indignation, the wetness between her legs giving her away. One hand exploring her pussy again while the other slowly stroked up her torso and around her breasts. She was straining to leave the Nadu position but knew I was looking for an excuse to punish her.

“I never promised to play fair.” I whispered as I nibbled on her ear gently. “Now I have taken your sight and your voice from you” I ran my tongue gently on the inside of her ear a sharp intake of breath and a moan were my rewards “What else will I be able to take from you this afternoon?”

I slowly removed my hands and stood above her walking away without a word to leave her in position to consider what I would have in store.


So that’s it for this particular insight into my sex life, I may put up part 2 later it depends on A) when I get to it B) popular demand and C) how much procrastination I feel like doing.


So if you enjoyed great, if you didn’t its not my fault you read it and if you want to critique my writing style the recycle bin is always in use 😉 Now that you’ve made it this far premium members can enjoy my latest joke.