Don't be afraid.
I used to be afraid to walk through an open Door.
A former Master would say, lil one it's okay, walk through the door. I'm waiting on the other side.
Today, the door may crack, I will forever be guardly optimistic.
I am so very ready for the day the doors open and the Dominance on the other side will be so bright I will be drawn like a moth to a flame.
I will be STRONG ENOUGH, in that moment to drop to my knees. To serve. Forever more.
If it opens, it's your door, don't just peak in. Take a deep breath, and walk through. It could be so beautiful it could bring it to your knees.
Keep love and respect in the lifestyle.
I must apologize for my last post. I did not mean to depress anyone.
I want everyone to know I am absolutely good. No I am NOT in-service. I am growing within myself.
I enjoy helping others and meeting people of the same mindset.
I have had the honor of serving Dominant's and Master's & my Ma'am.
Today I have nothing but respect for all of them and thankful for the seasons we shared. I made HORRIBLE choices within one of them. And there was alot of pain. However today, this girl's heart smiles as they have grown and found theirs. And I am so very happy. However shine down and strong enough will forever in my mind take me back to his feet. Sitting in Atlanta, him brushing my hair after my shower. Forever the Dragon that showed me a side of my masochism I didn't know exist. Forever greatful.
My Ma'am, she showed me the beautiful way of the female Dominance. Forever she will be the ma'am of my heart.
I'm greatful to those I have been in conversations with. Allowing me to even just a moment see the beauty of your life.
I'm blessed way more than I deserve. And very humbled at where my journey is taking me.
So my posts will definitely be more up beat. Per the request of a special FRIEND. (This is for you Sir)
And to everyone else.. get ready as slave Draconica is back, in a better space.. Let the shenanigans begin..
As this slave is a free range slave these days. So s/types, I am looking for new friends.. reach out let's talk.
But most of all
ME, this girl, this slave
If just for Today
11 THINGS THAT REALLY HAPPEN IN D/s relationships
Takeaway: D/s relationships are best known for the power dynamic and kink, but the relationship is really nothing more than people going through the same daily struggles as everyone else.
When you picture Dominance and submission, what do you imagine? Collars and naked submissives crawling and kneeling? Probably lots of kinky stuff like floggers and bondage. A bit of rough sex? Let me put another picture in your mind. This is one of laughter and tears, arguments, misunderstandings and lots of coffee. You know, real people in real relationships. While D/s relationships are best known for power dynamics and kink, they're area also really, well, normal. Here are 11 things that happen all the time.
I hate to break it to you, but everyone farts. Even the submissive or Dominant of your kinkiest fantasies. Once you’re together in a long-term relationship, one of you is going let one loose when you least expect it. In my relationship, we might joke about it, raise an eyebrow in silent judgement, or say something like, “Whoa...that one sounded painful.” At some point in your D/s relationship, you'll also poop, vomit, clean your ears, clip your toenails and scratch your butt. Yep, just like in every other relationship you’ve ever had.
You Get the Flu
Maybe it’s not the flu. Around here, we come down with sinus infections, strep throat and bronchitis - not to mention mental health issues and back problems. Whatever it is, the kink goes on the back burner until you recover. In some cases, it’s a long-term chronic illness and your life adjusts to fit your new reality. As a submissive, it’s OK to let your Dominant take care of you when you’re ill. It's also important that Dominants respect the fact that while their submissives want to take care of them, they will have other things to manage as well.
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You Don’t Like Their Family
Your kinky partner may be a dream, but their family is a nightmare. This is no different than any other vanilla interaction. Try not to let it become a wedge between you. Remember, it’s hard for your partner to feel pulled between family and you. Assuming it’s just a personality conflict and not something dangerous or abusive, find a way to handle it in your relationship. We use a lot of sarcastic humor before they arrive, and then blow off steam with rough sex when they go home.
The Kids Catch You
I was bent over the bed, ass out, on the receiving end of a few well-placed, delicious smacks. After a hard day, I needed it. We’d also just moved into a new home. Neither of us understood how thin the walls were until we heard, “What’s that sound?” coming from the kids’ room. Yes, they’ll catch you. You can freak out or you can breathe (I vote for breathing). Normally we talk to our kids about sex in age-appropriate terms. That day, we lied through our teeth. “We’re just clapping!”
The Kids Ask Awkward Questions
“Why do you call him ‘Sir’?” or “How come you wear that weird necklace all the time?” Some kids won’t notice, while others notice everything. Answer your kids with age-appropriate responses or lie through your teeth - depending on their age and the question. Most kids will accept whatever answer you give. Just remember that if you treat it like a big deal or something to worry about, they will, too.
You Disagree About Money
My partner and I don’t disagree about much. We’re sickeningly cute like that. Our one chronic annoyance with each other is money, which makes sense: it's the No.1 point of contention in most relationships. He worries we won’t have enough. I worry he’ll be too cheap to buy the things we actually need. Sounds like a “normal” or “vanilla” issue doesn’t it? That’s because, regardless of your kinks, at the end of the day, you’re still people navigating a relationship together. Oh, and no he doesn’t always “win” the argument by saying, “I’m the Dominant!” We make ourselves work through it and find a solution we can both accept.
You Come Up with Silly Jokes That Don’t Make Sense to Anyone but You
One time, while packing for a trip, I ran out of quart size bags and had to use sandwich bags. When I tried to explain what I did, it came out, “I’ve packed my sandwiches” instead of “my toiletries in sandwich bags.” In my defense, I was tired. From that day forward, we always ask if the other one has their sandwiches ready when we pack. It’s silly and stupid, but it’s personal and a reminder of a shared silly moment. The longer you’re together, the more of those moments you’ll collect.
You Find Ways to Express Your Kink in Public
When we go out for breakfast, I take care of my partner’s cup of coffee. The server pours, and I add cream and sugar. That’s my job as his submissive. Whether the server or other patrons think I’m really nice or really weird doesn’t matter. In that moment, our D/s dynamic is on full display and no one has a clue except us. These small moments get us through when life intervenes in our bigger moments of kink.
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Read: Wanna Act Kinky In Public? Here's How to Do It Incognito
You Grieve Together
In 2015, my partner’s younger sister died. In 2017, a woman who was both my best friend and second mom unexpectedly died. Death happens, and it can’t be ignored. In those moments of grief, sometimes our D/s was put to the side - and sometimes it's what got us through. Each time we were there for each other and a support for the other to lean on. Much of what you can offer your partner in a relationship has little to do with kink - this is one of those times.
You Hate Some Weird Quirk
It doesn’t matter how much you adore your partner, we all have little quirks and traits that get on our partner’s nerves. He hates the way I say, “You do this differently than I do” which is code for, “You’re not doing it the way I do it.” I work at our kitchen table. If he sits down while I’m working to eat, the sound of his chewing makes me crazy. I’m not a bad submissive, and he’s still just as Dominant regardless of how these little quirks make us feel. Acknowledge those moments as normal. Being annoyed doesn’t make you any less Dominant or submissive, and your relationship isn’t doomed, either.
Vanilla Sex is (Sometimes) Fun
Your results may vary on this, but sometimes (for some people, in some situations), vanilla sex will feel pretty good. There’s this false truth that once you’re kinky all you ever want is rough or kinky sex. That may be true for some people, but not for everyone. Your D/s dynamic is still valid when you choose vanilla as a flavor from time to time.
The fantasy of D/s relationships is sexy and exciting. Most of the time we can make our fantasies come true, at least a little. At our core, we’re all people like anyone else. D/s doesn’t shield you from the rest of your life, but it can help you navigate it in new ways and with a better sense of who you are as a person and in your relationship.
Sometimes life can throw you a curve.
You gotta BEATHE.
Sometimes things don't work the way you think it will.
You gotta BREATHE
Sometimes you get defeated
You Gotta BREATHE
Sometimes you have to trust when you have no trust left to give.
You Gotta BREATHE
Sometimes you feel this walls going back up.
You gotta BREATHE
SOMETIMES LIFE HAPPENS..
IM GOING TO BREATHE
I thought you would always be the one I could count on that would stand up for me when things got though.
I’d always believed you would fight for me because of how you felt about me.
Turns out, I was wrong.
While I know we’d had some rough times of late, our relationship had a lot of truly beautiful moments too..
Or had you forgotten those, too?
When I needed you most, when things were the hardest..you just turned your back on me.
I don’t think I’ve ever been so hurt in my life.
I just couldn’t believe the one person that I thought would always be there..wasn’t.
You just chose to walk away rather than fight for me, for us?
I ask myself a million questions trying to understand how you could do that..and honestly, I don’t know.
I may never know.
Maybe you didn’t feel as strongly about me as you claimed, maybe something changed..or maybe you just fed me some words to make me believe we were the real thing.
I don’t know. I’m just so hurt-I’m beyond pain, I’m numb.
I don’t know where to turn or what to think, I’m completely lost.
This wasn’t supposed to be how things were meant to turnout.
Part of me has always believed you were the one and that my search was over..
And now I’m just feeling dumb as you left me holding pieces of my broken heart..
But when everything came crashing down around me , you were nowhere to be found..
So, I did what I never thought I could do and stood up for myself..
I fought for me when I didn’t even think I had that strength in me.
Sometimes, your story doesn’t give you a choice and that’s exactly where you walked out on me..
So, I did whatever I had to do to survive.
It’s hard, I’m not going to lie -there’s so many days that I want to quit, but I’d rather be out here struggling by myself than depending on someone who walks out when things get hard.
I’m done with that.
I’m sure you have your reasons and what you told everyone else, but you never even bothered to explain it to me..
The one person you should have told first, you didn’t even think I was worth the effort.
I guess it’s better to find out now than many years down the road, but it still hurts all the same.
I know I’ll be fine eventually, because your cowardice reminded me of strength I didn’t know I had.
I’m strong enough, brave enough and courageous enough to pull through this with my head held high.
Maybe you walked out when the going got tough,
But the tough just made me get going.
I guess I should thank you for showing me the way back home to myself, but I don’t know that I’ll ever forgive you for what you did to me.
Doesn’t really matter, because I’m in a better place now.
Where you once left a girl to fend for herself without a thought to how she’d make it.
There now stands a strong woman..
With a heart of gold and a fiery spirit.
Some warriors are born..
This one was forged in the fire.
I was made for this..
Strong, beautiful and finally free.
The blood trail you left behind, gone.
The nightmares of you words.. gone..
The misery within your silence.. gone..
The fear of all we were, and what we were...
And the heart does not need loud posts with lofty words. Sometimes a soft whisper in your ear "My girl" is enough, sometimes a short and shrill growl "My!", And sometimes silence and silence for two; a look in which you drown without a trace; touch, from which you forget how to breathe or smell, dear and painfully familiar to your soul.
And the feeling of a drop of warmth means more and more expensive than bright exclamations, so that your heart is filled with red, hot avalanche blood, so that the layers of ice on it move and thaw in your soul.
And it doesn't matter what's outside the window. It is important what you live, what you breathe, or who and what your soul lives with. It is important what is alive in you...
She wakes up and looks at the morning with a new surprised look ...
The first world and its first born ray, entangled in her hair,
through her eyelashes with a light eccentric shadow of a day that still drinks the dew of milky clouds huddled on her chest, with that tenderness that is about to begin to open the silk flower buds...longing to be the beautiful rose for the right one....
To be seen truly. For all the battle wounds and scars to be seen as beautiful. For the Dominant of heart to find beauty in the all the chaos of her past. For the hunger within their Dominance will burn until they set her submission free. Placing in their hands to keep her safe from the world forever more.
Freeing the slave, to loving accept their chains of Dominance.
With that final thought she drifts back to sleep. To the meadow she will go, and wait for her One to lay her gift forever at the feet of her true Master.
You're a submissive woman
You find pleasure, joy, and fulfillment from being submissive
to your Master in a loving relationship.
You're not weak or stupid. You're a strong woman,
with firm views and a clear concept of what you want out of your life.
You do not serve out of shame or weakness, but out of pride and strength.
You will look to your loving Master for guidance and protection, for never
will you be more complete than when I'm with you.
You know that I will protect your body, your mind, and your soul
with all my strength and wisdom.
I'm everything to you, as you're everything to me.
My touch awakens you and my thoughts free you.
Only in serving me do you find complete freedom and joy…
My punishments may be harsh, but you accept them thankfully,
knowing that I have your best interests always foremost in my mind.
If I desire your body for pleasure, you shall joyfully give it to me
and take pleasure yourself from knowing that you have brought me happiness.
However, the pleasure of the flesh is but one facet of O/our relationship.
The love, the trust and sharing, the words spoken and felt,
those are all parts of this relationship.
Your body is mine, and if I say you're beautiful, then you are.
No matter what you look like to others, you're beautiful in my eyes,
and because of that you hold your head high.
If I say you're My precious jewel,
then you're that…a beautiful, sparkling gem.
If I say that you're My pet, my slut, my whore, then you're that..
as wanton and dirty as I want you to be.
Your mind is mine, to expand, to explore, to know only as I can.
You have no secrets from me… for secrets are a thing that would
keep you from being more perfectly mine.
Secrets would put a wall up between your Master and yourself…
and you do not want walls.
My lessons are not always ones you would seek on your own,
but they are lessons I've decided that you need, and so you learn from me.
Your soul is mine, as bare to my touch as ever your skin could be
when you kneel naked at my feet.
Never a moment goes by when you do not feel my presence,
be I be miles away or standing over You.
If you were to ever displease me, My displeasure would be a blow to your soul,
worse punishment than any lashes could be.
The anguish of your soul that you feel when you disappoint me
is harder to bear than any physical anguish you feel.
You're grateful that I care enough about you to spend
My time and energy so freely on you.
You have the easier job, to feel, to experience,
to let yourself go and abandon everything to me.
You're my pleasure and my responsibility, and I take both seriously .
You're a submissive woman.
You're proud to call yourself that, your submission is a gift that you do not give lightly,
and can only be given to the One who can appreciate that gift and return it tenfold.
Only to your Master who has that strength, will you give yourself fully,
because you're strong and proud.
You're a submissive woman
This was given to me by a Master that has now passed away. He so very much wanted me to find honor, and pride in who and what I naturally am.
Enjoy the journey and embrace all that is you. Truly it's beautiful.
The thoughts inside my head. Sept.16, 2021
Well, today I find myself focused. As many know, I am not in service at the moment.
That in itself can be taxing on anyone with a slave heart and service driven. UGH is the best statement I can truly use to describe it.
However, today I have learned it is so very important to have quality over quantity. I was challenged to add a couple of sites and get my feet back in the pool so to speak. Well if you know me, I am ALWAYS up for a challenge.
Again jumped in both feet. As I am either all in or all out. No gray area here.. however I am working on learning balance. Which is hard because this is naturally my Life everyday.
With that said, eventually I came to a point of not wanting the next service experience. I became ready for MY SERVICE CONNECTION.
To lay my surrender down to the one deserving of all that it is. All the experience, all the knowledge, AND all the struggles, the hurt, the trauma. Absolutely all that is slave Draconica.
I found I do have a voice, and what I have to say matters. At least to the Master that will find beauty in all I am and all I will ever be.
But to be of service, would that be enough? Hmmm. Upon further self evaluation I found nope.. there was another piece missing. I needed siblings. A slave sister or brother I served along side.
This could come from the fact I have no biological siblings. However I have served in a family type dynamic, it was beautiful. I felt complete and whole.
I know leave it to me to complicate things. Hard enough to find a Dominant of the same mindset, let's add poly to it.
I will not ever give up, what I need in a dynamic to just be of service ever again. It can cause so much damage.
I believe in the beauty of this lifestyle. And I believe, in the beauty which is service. I believe in the beauty which is poly. And most of all I believe in the beauty that is me.
Today, I believe I am worthy and deserving of the dream.
I know that if anything in the lifestyle there is someone (s) for everyone. You have to be patient, and trust the process.
Thanks for reading
The ramblings of my slave mind