Tonight, I am wondering if fate is throwing challenges in my way to make me work for it or to caution me away from her.
one of those songs she’s played on repeat has a line..
I'm sitting eyes wide open and I got one thing stuck in my mind. Wondering if I dodged a bullet or just lost the love of my life…
So life divided us again… responsibility here- keeps me here and her responsibilities there keep her there. Sure there could be play sessions and maybe a weekend here or there but it’s not what either of us want. The dynamic is there, the fire is there, hell maybe even love- but the bleeding logistics make this nearly impossible.
I take a breath. I suck at long distance relationships. If it were just the distance, I’d do it all in a heartbeat. Things here though, need more than just my presence- they need my focus. I will be basically raising a child. While it would be easier with her, she has her own battles and she is (I know she hates to hear this) fragile in health. These are not things she should add. I can’t make my responsibilities her responsibilities over her own.
It’s not the first time we’ve been pulled apart eventually we find our way back. This time was so damn close to the forever- next time we’ll have to make it there.
