I was just in NY and staying in a hotel. It was a king size bed. It’ was too big though. The irony is the bed at home is much larger.
I know she’s feeling it too. She was at an event Saturday evening, she wasn’t feeling social. For me she feels so bloody far away.
so when she reached out because something was making her uncomfortable; (someone) I could tease and talk to her, but could offer no comfort.
I made her laugh and that had to be enough. I want to put myself between her and anything that upsets her. I am her safe place, but right now even further away than usual.
she’s on a plane tonight but not coming home to me. Closer but not quite. The Dom i. me needs to protector her and care for her. It’s hard to do, hours away The frustration grows and so do the restless feelings.
She needs to feel sheltered and I need to know she’s safe. I crave the peace that comes from her head against my chest and my hand stroking her hair. I miss the way she taps out the rhythm of my heartbeat with her fingertip against my chest. I think we both need to recharge.because this bleeding bed is too fecking big.