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Capricious and Caged

Musings, querulous rants, and possibly actual writings of a temperamental sub type.
6 days ago. Thu 13 Jun 2019 04:46:50 PM IDT

I'm sure we're all familiar with them.

Simon Says and Mother May I.

For us here in the lifestyle, I dont think we've given them much of a thought outside of our formative years. Just silly games we played to pass the time (time that we wish we had back, in most cases).

But a silly thought struck me this morning about the games, how we play, and how they've affected us in our adult lives. How have they groomed us, specifically s types, for the tasks we face day to day?

Alright, so they're simple. Simon says: "_______", Mother may I "____", and off we go. Super easy! But it can get a little more complicated (what, these are kids games, whats so complicated about them??), and we often disregard the deeply ingrained rule of Simon says and the utter simplicity of Mother May I. Complex chain commands can throw us for a loop and get us eliminated from the game, and not asking for permission from Mother has a lasting effect.

I know, I know: "Amdis, where the fuck are you going with this, make your point!"

I got this.

My point about Simon and Mother (and we capitalize, clearly, cause they're the D types in this scenario) is that these games actually may have been more relevant to us s types than we think. As relevant as children's games can be, mind you.

But think about the premise. Simon says do a thing and you do a thing. Simon doesn't say, and...we don't! Same thing for Mother May I, only a bit of reversal here. Asking Mother and either you are allowed or you aren't. Done deal.

Placing it in the context of us lovely s types is simple from there. Sir/Daddy/Master (or whomever your D type) says to do something and we do it. If they didn't say, well, we get punished. A bit more severely than in the game, sure, but this is real life after all! As for Mother, we are asking to be allowed to do something and hope desperately for our Yes. Sometimes Mother doesn't allow it though and we all know Mother knows best.

Us lowercasers understand the command hierarchy, though sometimes I'm sure we'd rather stuff marshmallows in Daddy's mouth than actually listen to what he has to say. But we get it. We do our best to perform whatever command we're given to the best of our ability and try to listen to constructive criticism when we don't. Sometimes its a little harder when asking permission for something, you're given a no, and you don't always understand why.

So, I guess in a way, Simon and Mother were actually teaching us something way back in the playground days though we never knew it at the time.

Bear with me here, I know this is a stretch.

They taught us perseverance. The sticktoitiveness that all of us stubborn s types seem to embody so well. If you don't succeed, you try again and you get better with practice.

We were taught how to follow rules. Basically, if you don't have permission, you can't do it.( Yes, for the sake of brevity, I'm oversimplifying; get over it.) At first we get pissy and want to think they're bending the rules and they're being SO mean. Why can't we do the thing?? We WANT to do the thing, why can't we do it? [Don't do the thing, its a trap!] But we eventually come to understand a bit better how the game(s) work and use it, more often than not, to our advantage. You gotta soften them up sometimes, right? RIGHT!

We learned how to LISTEN. Not just hear what we want to hear, but actually listen. Simon says hands up, hands down. *hands go up, hands come down* You're out! Simon didn't say hands down. I'd personally argue that since it was in the same sentence it still counts, but I'm stubborn that way.

However, more than anything, I think they taught us patience. We had to learn the rules. We had to struggle a bit and go through a period of "what the fuck do you mean , I'm out! Simon said!" until we got to the end. We learned to wait our turn, even if Mother didn't approve of the steps we were taking, maybe she would allow us some big ones on the next go round. 

In the D/s respect, patience can be a huge deciding factor. Do we always understand why they don't want us to do something? No, fuck, of course not! But there ARE reasons, some of them just to reinforce the things that Simon and Mother taught us. And, as long as you're in a HEALTHY dynamic, we can usually be assured that their decisions are for the best. We don't have to trust them blindly and not question them, but we give them decision making capabilities over us for a reason and should respect the choices they make. Hell, have a conversation about it, just don't throw a tantrum cause you can't have another tub of cotton candy. 

I know its a silly, off the wall topic for this morning and half of you (on my side of the world) probably aren't awake enough to tolerate my ramblings this morning and for that I apologize. Hopefully its not as stupid a concept as it reads, but if it is.. HAHA, I stole minutes of your life you can't get back! Nyahahaaa!

In any case

Simon says: Have a good day.




3 months ago. Tue 12 Mar 2019 09:04:43 PM IST

Hindsight is 20/20. Listen to your gut instincts.

Common enough "advice" and yet I don't think we really give credence to it. 

After having witnessed some.."events" I'm fully exasperated and fatigued by people and their never ceasing drama and incessant denial of the truth. After evidence, after hours of discussion, after everything, the choice to completely ignore it.

And then, not only ignore it but propagate it! Those behaviours that they themselves complained about, they now cast on others, as if they never spoke them. As if they, in their infinite guiltlessness had not dared speak a word against. Deny that utterances were shared, not just heard; spoken by all parties one and the same! Affirmed and reaffirmed, repeated; blatant refusal that those words, held in confidence, were repeated to an outside party who had no right to the information.

Lies and deception and oh the hypocrisy of it all! 

We all took part; all confirmed our rightous belief in the negativity asserted by this individual and that it's cessation would be imminent, if people were informed. 

Yet you run to them, belief and doubt cast aside. Embraced fully in arms never meant for you, never meant to hold you and call you their own. Arms belonging to one that scorned, one that controlled, manipulated and hurt you and you run back as if it all never happened. 

Yet WE are the ones to blame? We, the few who chose to stand against, who concluded that this individual was best left to their own devices and kept out for the betterment of all? As if you had not said the SAME as did we all. 

No. You never gave up. You wanted to be the one that was steadfast, who stuck with it just so you could say you only were the one to never cast them aside. As if you never shamed the very behaviours you now claim to adore.

My heart weeps for the loss. The want to reply and to argue - to PLEAD that reason will be heard and acknowledged is ever present but as was said, you know what you're doing. 

The trust is broken. Ne'er again the bond between survivors strengthened, but disintegrated and cast as ashes to the wind. 

I hope the best for the future and that perhaps redemption is in the cards.

But "we happy few" will not be party to it. Too much energy expended on a situation best left in the past and we cannot abide or tolerate such a breach in trust. An attempt was made. It was ignored as rose colored glasses, thick as lead, were adorned in lieu of common sense.

It has been made clear our efforts were in vain..

I wish you well

And as they say, god speed.



3 months ago. Wed 06 Mar 2019 05:21:52 PM IST

I haven't felt well.

I've been bopping in and out of "existence" lately, trying to keep up with life's demands and there's no balance. 

I work. So not a lot of time to socialize when getting home at 8pm and I still need to eat, shower, prepare for the next day.

I feel like I've gained weight. I haven't; but I hadn't lost any either. My job is sedentary so I don't get the opportunity to get up (god forbid, they'd ask me why I was away from my desk! [They're really not that bad but you cant really just get up and walk around]).

I have some things to (in one case, nervously) look forward to. Going to Kinky Kollege with Redtailedkitty was a very VERY last minute opportunity I was presented with that I just couldnt turn down. Last 2 tickets? I got em. Fight me.

Also going to Arizona in April for vacation. I'll miss the brisk mountain air of our normal vacation spots but I hear they have mountains too;

I know the kink community is supposed to be about acceptance, no shaming, and going to the con at my weight would be fine. I look "fine"..but I don't feel fine and I feel about as sexy as a rotten turnip. SO! heavy lard ass really has got to do something to lose some weight so I'm not DEAD weight. I've tried..ohh well about a hundred things and I either get lazy (yep, admitting it), bored, or I lose steam, give up, lose motivation. "What's the point, I'll never not be fat". 

But I'm gonna try. And I say the same things every time I start something new like "oh this could really work if I just 'insert some miniscule motivator here'". But ive got something in my back pocket so we'll see.

Monday, March 4th 2019-a new beginning? Maybe.

3 months ago. Sat 02 Mar 2019 06:06:13 AM IST

I do not believe in the Christian god but this resonates.

Hope it will for you all as well

4 months ago. Mon 21 Jan 2019 02:39:01 AM IST

Not exactly feeling 100% self esteem wise. Never have, honestly. 

Being a plain Jane is not the greatest thing in the world but I guess I shouldn't be so shallow and focus on looks..I'm a decent person, most of the time.

But it sucks when your outside doesn't match the image of you that you feel on the inside


5 months ago. Fri 18 Jan 2019 05:11:34 AM IST

Definitely enjoy Milkwebs' content and happy to post something for the littles, bigs and in-betweens.


Hope you're all having a great day!



5 months ago. Sun 13 Jan 2019 06:54:50 AM IST

Excellently demonstrates a brief negotiation prior to play or a scene, during, and some aftercare (specific to her, of course). So happy to see the natural flow and spark between these two lovely women.



5 months ago. Sat 12 Jan 2019 08:37:50 AM IST

If you have the time, I highly recommend giving this a watch. Good things to remember for those in the scene a while or just starting out. Brittney and Evie are great, upstanding educators for kink and BDSM.


5 months ago. Sat 22 Dec 2018 11:34:45 PM IST

 Upping the ante: I see your Hu and raise you Heilung.


1 year ago. Sat 23 Dec 2017 06:49:49 AM IST


Sepia-toned, Pointilistic reproductions 

lost in tempestuous seas.


Gasping, a desperate plea for another breath.

Raw throat, screams clawing from the depths

break the Silence.


Lifeless limbs tempest tossed,

a visage marred and broken;

carrion feast for Crows.


Doubtful fleeting glances,

taciturn lips pressed in thin lines.


They never knew anyway.