My Feelings on the Puppies

It’s been a while since I’ve last talked here. In my last post, I talked about my feelings on my sub M. Well, not my sub anymore. A couple days after that post, I ended it completely with them. Our contract stated that either party could end our DS relationship at any given time. I exercised that right. They threw a tantrum, spread more rumors about me within my social circle, and tried to make my life worse. I didn’t care. My mental state was at it worst, shown by my blog. However, in my previous entry, I talked about sub M’s friend E. E is a great guy. For a little over a month now, we’ve been in a romantic relationship. He understands how much M hurt me and has stayed by my side the entire time. This isn’t going to be a DS relationship. I like to tease him but not in the way I would a sub. I don’t mean to hate, but BDSM is not a healthy thing for me. The community is nice but I don’t think I can handle it constantly. DS relationships have taken a toll on my mental health and I don’t think I’ll ever be in a serious one again. Surely, I’ll dabble here and there in BDSM, but DS relationships are not my thing. I think sub M and I used BDSM as a way to unhealthily deal with our abusive and toxic urges under the idea of consent and trust. I know I hurt them, but they hurt me too. We were both guilty in our relationship, but at least I had the guts to end it. I think I’ll be taking a break from BDSM for a while. I’m happy with my boyfriend E. And I couldn’t ask for anything more. I’m happy now :).