New me .thoughts .ideas

When it bright sunny all pretty and everything is perfect we bask and enjoy the warmth of the sun all the things we see .but then night comes the later the darker the better I enjoy it I'm not a bright sunshiny day person even in the brightest moments I'm in darkness waiting keeping a ever so close eye for dangers the person in me cry's out to be loved but the monster in me knows it's best to keep in the shadows when my soul mate is ready she know where I am and whom I am by it we will wait to see yes there have been ones the ones we all know to well the ones that want their needs met and disappear yes it gets old I agree but the truth is I'm actually a lone wolf that is waiting for his pack to return I'm the one that decided to let them roam find their place in the world some will but some won't return it's life we all loose at times hold them head high and don't let them sideswipe you use your strength get up and push on you've got this if you didn't you would not be here now so dust the dirt and get that ass moving 

We all have this issue do we trust enough touch not enough ect.now bear in mind we all at some point screwed up and lost trust others gave us we may never get it back or we will one day .but what happens when someone breaks that trust just to spite you just to make them selfs look better .well as mad as I get at that individual and no longer offer telling them anything .does that make me the bad person the rights or wrongs doesn't matter .what does matter our pride ? Or is it the fact vows or promises are broken we don't know why or why it transpired to break it but there it is .it got broke I my self have never hid anything there is no point in hiding anything .the trick is love live and screw the rest of it its not worth hurting nor is it worth the stress .love your self .noone can make you feel inferior with out your consent . Remember a persons opinion is just that . It matters only if you want it to

Dying is easy once you accept that fact . But when your cancer or diagnosis changes it throw everything out of balance even the most dominant human can break down under the stress it when you cant break down thats the hardest even if you try to cry or scream it is a hard thing to handle and i still live it im not looking for subs slaves or anything else i am emotionily dead until i can fix it how can i be a real master . I have to fix it before it can be used so best of luck to you all but please dont kill your emotions it will haunt you

About 25 or so years ago my trust was betrayed by the one who i never though would so i dont give my trust anymore because 99.9% of the time it gets betrayed so if i start to trust a person know they are special 

What is the truth what good does it do to tell it hurt someone's feelings ? Split a family up or cost someone their everything.each person ever born hides a part away it may not be anything major but it still there .when I came to the cage I said I was honest loyal and caring loyal yes but I'm not sure on the rest any more .I've gotten to a point in my life I would rather be alone away from the world stay in my darkend corner .I have no joy in life at all anymore depression maybe but maybe I've seen the world for what it really is as much beauty as there is all I see is destruction or maybe I'm being blind who knows but at this moment I am EMPTY it's not that I'm not loved it's not that I'm alone .but I'd rather be out in the mountains in West Virginia away from people away from the world just stay in my dark place and enjoy the silence .

When we have them most can control their mean streaks I stopped controlling mine because I'm fed up I guess I've always spoke my mind but I was never really rude but lately I've stopped caring why did I stop caring why not when the one thing you love most is taken from you it's hard to care anymore anyway don't be like me trust in love it's always there it's your choice to feel it or not I've chosen not to .any who thanks for reading

We all say we want it .but stop and think about it ones person may see another version of it their truth can be different from yours so who is wrong who Is correct .it depends on what it pertains to a cheater gets caught a lier does to .I've seen both side of each we all have .my truth is not what I see or think I see my truth is where did it come from was it to not hurt the other like a small white lie or was it world changing .in my eyes we all have shit happen so stop for a min.and think what version do you want to see and what do you really see.i see love can stop all in their tracks and it can break our hearts but do we let it break our spirit or hopes dreams ect .na we hang in there knowing deep down it only last a little while .so stop and think what's your truth what do you want or what do you see and don't acknowledge 

When we are in the darkest places in life no matter how low you are stop look outside see the trees move from the wind feel the chilli air the world is still there and its waiting to be taken . For the ones who only want the world and its possessions why take it over why bother with it when deep inside is the burning the feel of striking sounds or the crack from a whip or her cry for more that feeling of release you both long for that rush the feeling like no other .then you take a step back look around and see the world hasn't stopped you have   when you open your eyes for something other then what we see thats the silver lining not the dark room not the sounds of it all when you realize your one true love is right there the whole time shes gotten marks from things no one else sees what do you do when the sub cant be that anymore she cant get around bow on command as a true man and master what is best is it truely truely love you feel if it is you lay the past where it is and move forward you carry her if need be she has given all to you now its your turn to give all and give her the live the tenderness and if need be you give her aftercare and nothing else because deep down all people need love regardless of their position  the silver lining will always be love folks . No matter the opinion love does not die humans do

We see it in movies,stories all around us but when does it really hit home .is it when your life falls apart or when the doctors say there is nothing left they can do .life not like the novels songs or movies there is no rewind .no reset just the choices we've made in our life good bad all of them but where do you want to be sitting when you reach the end of your time.alone with loved ones  . Perhaps its the hardest decision you will ever face . But we all at some point have to face it . As i write this i have so many memories rushing back i smile from them not because im happy but at them moments i was . My being happy has long disappeared until i look back sad fact .anyway a small piece of advice dont let life pass by get enjoyment as often as you can even when you feel like your not able to move put that foot fowards and keep going you will be glad you did . Im not asking for sympathy nor remarks just maybe a lesson someone else may not have to face and know others have been there   

When all you feel is hate towards everyone what should you do love them ? sounds easy does it not ?if it was easy life would be so much better but unfortunately when you have no love left the best thing to so is just stop .I sit day in and day out hating the world tired of fake ass idiots tired of pain and just down right fed up with it all .ive loved lost seems like lost more then the rest but thats another story I have been accused of alot in my life but not car I g was never one of them until I realized I have no more love to give the tank is empty the heart no longer feels anything remorse no anything for anyone .then I was told by someone dear to me very dear they didn't want to even talk to me anymore .Ok that's fine .instead of listening to my side of anything they jumped to conclusions .they know who they are names are not important the point is after trying and trying so many times I give up if you don't want to be in my life that is fine but remember there are two sides of a story .I have no need to lie I have no reason to hide but when you do reach back out to me do not expect me to play nice do not expect anything from me but to be ignored to be left in the dark with noone there noone to listen noone that gives two shits because after all ive gone through lifting you up .when you fall I won't catch you this time I'm gonna watch your ass thump the ground lie it dont my give a damn is busted but my go fuck your self works extremely well I am done with it all .any way I hope noone else here has to live the life I have just to have their heart emptied out .when you feel negativity drop them there it's not worth it keep your heart and soul for your self because the rest is all fucking bull shit .I use to beleave in love until I found out its just a word and nothing more