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The COLD HARD TRUTH

Ok lets see where to begin .Ok lets start this way i have stsge 4 non small cell lung cancer i also have adrenal cancer i have becam incontinent yes it does suck judge away .now the fun part there are so many people on here that seem to think they know it all with no regars to anyone well how about you pull the beam from you own damned eye before you pull the thorn from someone else's yes i took my other blog down no it was not that they won but i have enough going on with out the goddam drama from here so like me hate me i dont really care im here to stay i have freinds that are here and i will not turn my back on them nor ignore them so guess what i doughnot care.!
23 hours ago. Wed 23 Jan 2019 12:58:26 PM IST

I have always enjoyed bdsm and controling my subs but with love honesty all the nessacery things that go with it .yet i have talked to several people here staring as freinds no expectations and have made several good freinds but i ran into a mind stubeling person i have laughed several times when i think about it turns out she was my sister im not into incest and neither is she but we talked a little bit and i asked what she looked like when her pic came through it was pg13 rated not nude or anything i was like holy shit im not going to put her screen name out there but we did do alot of catching up and kept it clean it just kinda shocked me at first now i got something to tease her about lol its a big brothers job anyway back on track i told her that she needs to use her head and follow her gut she is new at it and if her dom was not treating her correctly or if she felt it was to much to say so to her dom im kinda protective of her as she is still my little sister grown or not i know his screen name but i will keep it to my self as well as long as he is like a dom should be then i wont intervene 

1 day ago. Tue 22 Jan 2019 09:21:21 PM IST

I have came to the point that people who cant respect peoples feeling their thoughts dreams ect just needs to get the hell off and quit before i break their heads this isnt about anyone here on the cage not that it would matter im to the point of telling a few in my life to stay the hell away from me i do not and will not bend twist or anything because they think they have leverage because i have this little switch i can turn my emotions off and not care litterly and it getting to that point

1 day ago. Tue 22 Jan 2019 05:03:06 PM IST

We all have highs and lows no matter dom sub as a human you cant always be on top but its not hard to stay at the bottom either me i prefer to fight to maintain the life i have i battle everyday as everyone else does do i cry i have yet see anyone who does not if they say they dont its a lie because everyone hits a point and does man women as humans we make mistakes we get taken advantage of its life the best thing i can say is learn from it when i was younger i enjoyed fist fighting i was as some call it a street fighter yes i used martial arts as well i do not have a black belt a belt does no good just bragging rights ive lost a few but not many .niw that im older i try not to fight but will if need be .i also do not argue with people it not worth it and easier to walk away then saying something i will regret later just a life lesson for anyone who wants it if your married single dating ect do not go to bed mad at anyone because it may be the last time you can say sorry and have a good freind 

1 day ago. Tue 22 Jan 2019 02:07:31 PM IST

I got drunk last night i dont have a hangover i dont drink beer i prefer whiskey anyway i woke this morning and went to the basment to get dinner out to thaw and aparently i demolished the bdsm shit so while i dont remember anything i wonder what went through my head maybe its everything going on with me maybe its because of them deciding to leave at any rate its demolished and while i can fix it im probably just going to throw it away because im probably going to be moving have not decided where yet but i need a fresh start and away from my family aka bros sisters parents and xs. 

2 days ago. Mon 21 Jan 2019 11:53:17 PM IST

Me and my girls had sit down and they have decided they want a diffrent owner so i agreed to let them go i ripped the contract up and they packed up and went on their way so im sitting here wondering if it was because i was to soft or maybe to rough oh well time marches on 

4 days ago. Sun 20 Jan 2019 05:10:50 AM IST

Ive decided im going to be a new person im gonna smoke my weed get drunk now and the and just let go once in a while after the last few days ive had i need to tie a good one on my girls have decided to include sex in their play ive had two women at once before but this is diffrent this time around they belong to me .today and from here out im going to enjoy my life screw the idiots that try to bring us down the thoughts the whispering im done letting people get me down as i heard my entire life you have to stand for something if you have ever seen exmen wolverine has nithing on me im more of the hulk at this point smash it and go on 😀 

4 days ago. Sat 19 Jan 2019 08:10:23 PM IST

this song brings back so many memories i was alot younger then 😛

And the song i was actually listening to when i throat chopped her druggie soon to be ex hubbie was Dmx 

4 days ago. Sat 19 Jan 2019 06:28:45 PM IST

I first got married when i was 19 my first child was twin girls ironic lol then cam my 3 boys she showed up today and wanted to talk i figured it was about the two still at home she knows about my bdsm but we hide it from the boys anyway she showed up alone i let her in and we talked she wanted to get back with me yes i love my kids but i have no feelings for her at all and i told her i was not being mean but i dont love her anymore inturn she walked out on me for one of my freinds anyway she revealed to me that all she can think about i told her i could not be with her in fact i already had two women living with me she said she would be happy to be with the three of us so i told her i would think about it she then proceeded to strip her pants off i told her to stop she said she needed to be changed i told her i was not going to change her i did not want her so she got mad put her pants on and left crying i feel like a ass hole but i cant be with someone who has done the things she has done i have no feeling for her and i truly dont want to be with her anymore .so my son called and asked why i wouldnt let them come home i explained him and his brother are always welcome there but i did not want to be with his mom to make a long story short ive pissed her and my kids off until they want something .i may not be there when they want it im thinking about taking a very long road trip 

5 days ago. Sat 19 Jan 2019 04:24:06 AM IST

I have had a few fun times i cannot lie about it even though i have had a tough time with cancer and all the fun things that go with it yes i smoke pot have never hid the fact i see no reason to lie ever yes i have two wo derful subs /slave love them to death but i still find myself depressed i think about quitting my treatment sometimes i think why do i bother im not writting this to depress anyone as much fun as i have had in my life i have to make a choice everyday live with the pain wich is excrusiating or finally just give up and sometimes it gets very hard to keep fighting it truly does im not looking for sympothy im really not im just in a place with the cancer fight i feel like i am not winning it takes so much for me to admit this but i am tired of the pain the depression the needles being stuck in me all the time all of it my girls are in bed and are asleep but i wonder at times why i bother with this fight any more this i would never wish on anyone not even my worst enemy sorry i just had to vent 

5 days ago. Fri 18 Jan 2019 11:01:19 PM IST

I got up this morning the house was a mess looked like a tornado went through it so i left a chore list with both of them i came home from work it was still messy so here we go they both needed a diaper change wet ... So i have given them both about 5 exlax and we are on our way to walmart both are wearing wet diapers this time i have added to their punishment not only do they get to mess their diapers in walmart but they also have to suck a bottle while we shop for household things laundry soap ect well they have both been warned so while we was into walmart they both had to walk with me bottles in their mouth pig tails and diapers was visable you would be suprised how many people went the other direction to keep from laughing employees as well when i stopped to ask for help i got ignored so i went and called the store manager because it was rude of their employees not to help anyway back on track while we was paying for our things the exlax took affect and did their job when we got out to the car they had a change of heart about being disobedient but they also enjoyed everybit of it i did worry it may have been to much and they loved it so i guess we will have to step it up a little more next time they also have to go to bed at 7pm because they did not do as they was told when we got home i got them both cleaned up and put into a high chair the ones we modified with the toys after a few hrs of that then they both get spanked and hung on the wall and celing turn tables then after that spanked again then i am going to rub alcohol to the stripes and then back into their diapers for the night