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New me .thoughts .ideas

Just decided to come back to the cage i sit and wonder alot anymore i have not told my kids but it think my cancer is back will kmow next month when i left i had two people i could and still can open up to i have decided that i sont care what anyone thinks anymore if they dont like what they read then leave my blog it is that simple
3 weeks ago. Jun 19, 2020, 6:47 PM

When we are happy we smile laugh ect when we are sad we mope around angry its diffrent for each of us but when your heart has stopped feeling anything for anyone no emotions get help smoke a joint but dont let life kill you inside as i have done change your pace your hair what ever it takes but keep the feeling alive it is easier to live with them then without them

1 month ago. Jun 8, 2020, 4:44 AM

Probably the one that got away 



1 month ago. Jun 5, 2020, 10:36 PM

So true 


1 month ago. May 24, 2020, 5:13 AM

What do we do when we loose all faith in everything and everyone .give up .keep going .or just realize noone is perfect .when you reach the point of not caring about others or being here or there what do you do then .i have seen it many times and lived it my entire life it took 44 year for me to see the issue its not everyone else that lets us down it us that do it to our selfs .we build this perfect image of what we want and never find it .what may be perfect for one is no where close to another .bdsm vanilla take your pick we all have issues but until we face our true demons we cant be happy i fight mine everyday .but today i did not even try to fight it i decided to look into what was going on with me .i found i cannot ever be truly happy anymore i feel nothing for anyone and as much as i hate to admit it i am truly stopping until i can feel again .maybe others need to sit and reflect on how things are or was but ask your self am i truly truly happy with my life did i make it or break it .you will be suprised at your answer .dont get me wrong im not giving up on life but im going to stop running and face this shit once and for all .if it dont kill me then ill be even stronger the before .and a better me but if i cant do it then i guess ill have to come up with another plan but until then ill kill the me that holds me back the stranger in me .

2 months ago. May 4, 2020, 3:52 PM

What is wrong with people now days i mean seriously i can be very nice if they are or i can be a real sob .as well i hate seeing people say im nice and then they do nothing but nag and complain not even lift a finger to help anyone else .i drove semi from 2000 to 2015 .i had to stop do to i got my back meezed up from being rearended by a semi on icy roads then my czncer showed up made things even better .that was sarcasm .i guess what i am saying look in the mirror and ask am i treating others the way id want treated .if the answer is no then change it .yes change is hard to do and it wont happen over night but at least you could say im trying to fix this part of me .beauty is skin deep but ugly is to the bone .in other word outter beauty is nothing but inner is great


2 months ago. Apr 27, 2020, 3:49 PM

Ive been into bdsm for sometime now ive had a few subs slaves that i have released because they did not want this lifestyle any longer .i under stand them but what i do not get is dom or sub jumping i do understand not every dynamic works and not everyone will agree with me online or inperson i have learned people differ from what they initially say .or do when did we stop caring about others and only ourselfs as a community we need to stick together subs doms slaves master daddys lgs noone here is better then the other if we was all made the same it would be a very boring lifeanyway take care be safe sane and always trust your gut.



4 months ago. Mar 8, 2020, 4:35 PM