You probably know someone in your life, it might even be you that deals with depression.
As if "dealing with it" could cover how it feels to battle that thing within.
Fighting Depression is a War with oneself. A war just to be something closer to passing as normal every day, every waking moment as it steals your sleep, your appetite, and the joy right out of your grasp.
The world becomes bleak, gray, hollow, and meaningless. You can still see the color, but everything has the sepia stains of an old photograph.
Others have nostalgia for bygone years.
With Depression you have nostalgia for yesterday. When you were one iota better than now. A single grain of sand happier.
It's a War against a Narcissist in your own head. It can't possibly be wrong. All this guilt, shame, and emptiness must be because you deserved it right?
That's why I call it a Narcissist.
Because Depression Gaslights you into gaslighting yourself.
You deserve this.
Be ashamed to ask for help.
Keep quite, they don care.
No one cares.
No one really loves you.
You're cursed.
You exist only to suffer.
They're all better off without you.
You drag them all down and you can see it plain as day.
You are a plague
The Typhoid Mary of Despair
You measure yourself not by how happy you are, but by how happy you are others. You experience happiness vicariously through those who can feel it.
But more like a poison than a drug, your body fights it, your mind fights it.
It's a War against your mind for your mind.
How could you possibly win right?
It feels like it's got the home court advantage, your mind is its playground, not yours.
Worst of all you lose your ability to forgive yourself.
And a person who can forgive nothing is a person who has been destroyed psychologically and emotionally.
I've lived this War, watched it claim friends, and the friends of friends. Watched it ruin people's lives, sabotage happiness, and drag down even the most blessed of people.
But, but you are still here, those fighting it today are still here. In a world where suicide takes nearly a hundred people a day.
While I'm writing this, someone lost the fight, and before I'm done more will.
So yes, you are cursed.
But your also blessed with reserves of willpower, good friends, loved ones, or some Guardian...
That others didn't have.
You are strong because you made it to today.
You are beautiful, no matter the scars this War has left on you. Those Wounds were earned, fighting for your life.
Because you know somewhere within that life is worth living, no matter the pain and emptiness.
You are not defined by your Depression. It is a part of the whole.
A curse and a gift.
You know how much a soul can hurt, you feel it every time it comes again.
And maybe, just maybe you see that ephemeral beauty that comes with despair.
Either way, it doesn't matter.
You are here today.
And you can be here tomorrow, you have it in you.
You have a special kind of strength in you.
I know you do.
I have FAITH in you.
I know you can do it, even though you may never beat it for more than a second, each second counts.
Each small victory is still a victory, and I praise you for ever single one of them.
So hold on, you're not alone.
Don't let it win, spite it with every breath.
Spite it, not out of hate for it, but determination to prove it wrong.
I know you can.
Because despite this world's worst
I HAVE FAITH IN YOU.