the grassy knoll

I don't think you will ever understand.

Even if all my plans hold true 

and we end up

as a me and you

There such a force within you 

that drives me quite insane

Sure, you make my stomach churn

with the various things you say

causing me anxiety

scared of chasing you away 

Diving head first 

in my pillow

I pretend I don't care 

But in reality 

I want someone to show me 

That I'm worth the despair

Spreading anxieties 

Talking way too much 

Never knowing how I sound 

Or when to shut the fuck up 

I see myself from a distance 

Far too aware of how I am 

Dissociating from myself 

Is the only way I can 

Make it through the morning 

afternoon

and night 

without silencing myself completely 

after being such a fright.