the grassy knoll

from myself mostly 

I tend to be too intense for my own good 

fully devote to whatever flight of fancy I have latched onto for the day

week

month

next decade of my life 

all the ideas and turmoil of feelings 

I tend to keep things out in the open

in an attempt to depersonalize the most intimate parts of my life 

so that the fear of experience does not overwhelm 

and terrify me 

I miss the connection

Shared obsession

Even in the midst of the emotional upheaval

I need and will take space 

I have matured past the 

all or nothing adoration of fools 

into a space where I am able to take material responsibility in the 

midst of passion.

The denial is sweet. 

Denying him is sweeter.