I recently had an opportunity to explore some of the things I’d been fantasizing about for so long. Up until that moment, I had only imagined what it would feel like. What I gained from that experience was not what I expected. My experience involved me being a pet, with some spanking, crawling and verbal degrading. Just nice, slow and casual as it was fairly new to me. I can’t remember exactly how long it went on, an hour or so maybe? I truly enjoyed myself and was glad I was given the opportunity.
Its been days since and my mind still cannot stop processing. So many doubts and questions swirl around.
“Is this really what I want?”
“Could I live my life as an animal?”
“Can I live a life of servitude?”
“Could I ever learn to trust?”
So many bad experiences with bad people along the way certainly hasn’t helped ease my mind. 😒 To make matters more complicated, my work life is triggering some crazy “competitive” feelings and I hate it. Now I feel uncertain and confused about what it is I truly want my life to be like. 😩
Lost and uncertain.
