Just nod if you can hear me

The person I fell in love with and began building a life with was 25 years ago. The person I had a son with was 18 years ago.

The manipulative, gaslighting, self-centered, adulterous, drug adicted, drunk driving, POS, asshole that I'm glad is dead only died a year and a half ago.

The new person taints everything about the old person.

Was I stupid/willfully blind? Were they the same person all along?

It sounds so awful to say I'm glad she's dead, but I can't help but think what more damage she could have done. Hurt/killed/ruined another family's lives while intoxicated? Financially ruined my son's ability to go to college? Have our house taken away? The endless fears I lived with while she was alive.

We are taught we should love our enemies, that we should wish no other person harm, and that makes it so hard to reconcile my true feelings, especially for someone I loved.

Even if I believed,

I would not have the solace of seeing you again

on the other side

I came back

I sat in the lobby with nothing to say

A year has passed and I have become nothing, a void

Could I save you today?

Or watch as you slipped through my spectral fingers?

I'm pleased that I once had a purpose

Sorry that this has become Kaoh's random playlist but it has always been how I express what I cannot express.

I'm going to pick on Star Wars but the theme is repeated over and over in our pop-culture: The ONE that is plucked from obscurity by the wise master to save the day with skills that only the ONE possesses.

I'm not a fan-boy so if I massacre some details, please forgive.

But the kid is a farmer, buys a droid gets the call to action, finds a master, spends a couple hours on a ship and masters the saber then jumps into a craft he has never flown before and has the miraculous shot that destroys the enemies super-weapon.

There is no reference to the 10,000 hours needed for mastery of any field (Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell). 

Yes there is something to be said for letting go in the moment and letting our instincts (force) take over but does this line of story telling teach generations of us to sit back and wait for the message from the blue that will give us our destiny and true calling? As opposed to the hours of sweat and tears that it actually takes to master any subject, whether it be arts, craftsmanship, writing, sports.

Not feeling particularly insightful or creative tonight, so you get a song. If you don't feel anything watching, you may want to check your pulse and call the coroner.

Narrator: Thank you.

Tyler Durden: How’s that working out for you?

Narrator: What?

Tyler Durden: Being clever.

Narrator: … Great.

Tyler Durden: Keep it up, then. Right up. [gets up from seat] Now, a question of etiquette: as I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch?