Just nod if you can hear me

Live: Simple, binary. You do or you don't. Continue or cast yourself into the void and hope for the best. Endless nothing or throwing yourself at the mercy of your god. Judgement and torment or nothing at all. The deck is stacked the game is rigged but do you quit or stay to turn the tables?

Laugh: A bit more complex. Why are you laughing? What is so funny? Are you laughing through conditioning at what you are supposed to laugh at. Are you laughing because someone said something taboo, not to be spoken of in polite conversation? Or, are you laughing the deep rich belly laugh of an infant? The laugh so pure and sweet it hurts and leaves you breathless.

Love: Back to binary, you do or you don't, you is or you ain't. Unless you are Greek, then it gets a bit more complicated:

• Agápe (ἀγάπη, agápē[1]) means "love: esp. brotherly love, charity; the love of God for person and of person for God". Agape is used in ancient texts to denote feelings for one's children and the feelings for a spouse, and it was also used to refer to a love feast. Agape is used by Christians to express the unconditional love of God for His children. This type of love was further explained by Thomas Aquinas as "to will the good of another".
  
  
• Éros (ἔρως, érōs) means "love, mostly of the sexual passion". The Modern Greek word "erotas" means "intimate love". Plato refined his own definition: Although eros is initially felt for a person, with contemplation it becomes an appreciation of the beauty within that person, or even becomes appreciation of beauty itself. Plato does not talk of physical attraction as a necessary part of love, hence the use of the word platonic to mean "without physical attraction". In the Symposium, an ancient work on the subject, Plato has Socrates argue that eros helps the soul recall knowledge of beauty and contributes to an understanding of spiritual truth, the ideal form of youthful beauty that leads us humans to feel erotic desire – thus suggesting that even that sensually based love aspires to the non-corporeal, spiritual plane of existence; that is, finding its truth, just like finding any truth, leads to transcendence. Lovers and philosophers are all inspired to seek truth through the means of eros.
  
  
• Philia (φιλία, philía) means "affectionate regard, friendship", usually "between equals". It is a dispassionate virtuous love, a concept developed by Aristotle. In his best-known work on ethics, Nicomachean Ethics, philia is expressed variously as loyalty to friends (specifically, "brotherly love"), family, and community, and requires virtue, equality, and familiarity. Furthermore, in the same text philos is also the root of philautia denoting self-love and arising from it, a general type of love, used for love between family, between friends, a desire or enjoyment of an activity, as well as between lovers.
• Storge (στοργή, storgē) means "love, affection" and "especially of parents and children". It is the common or natural empathy, like that felt by parents for offspring. Rarely used in ancient works, and then almost exclusively as a descriptor of relationships within the family. It is also known to express mere acceptance or putting up with situations, as in "loving" the tyrant. This is also used when referencing the love for one's country or a favorite sports team.
  
  
• Philautia (φιλαυτία, philautía) means "self-love". To love oneself or "regard for one's own happiness or advantage"[12][full citation needed] has been conceptualized both as a basic human necessity[13] and as a moral flaw, akin to vanity and selfishness,[14] synonymous with amour-propre or egotism. The Greeks further divided this love into positive and negative: one, the unhealthy version, is the self-obsessed love, and the other is the concept of self-compassion.
  
  
• Xenia (ξενία, xenía) is an ancient Greek concept of hospitality. It is sometimes translated as "guest-friendship" or "ritualized friendship". It is an institutionalized relationship rooted in generosity, gift exchange, and reciprocity.[15] Historically, hospitality towards foreigners and guests (Hellenes not of your polis) was understood as a moral obligation. Hospitality towards foreign Hellenes honored Zeus Xenios and Athene Xenia, patrons of foreigners.

Or, you can just paint that shit on your wall and go about your day, "enlightened".

How to function when one door opens before the other door closes? Beyond the new door are promises of peace and tranquility and behind the first fire and turmoil rage uncontrollably.

A cliff diver on the ledge, knowing he must commit. There is nothing to climb back down to. The crowds have all gone home. This dive will be only for him. Time it correctly and be embraced by the loving sea. Time it wrong and the hungry rocks wait. Gauging the tide he waits. Watching each wave as it swells and then drains the pool below. Wait too long and the tide may go out leaving him clutching the rock alone, waiting in the dark for the next chance. Leap without thinking and disaster awaits. He steps off and begins his descent. 

Mamma Cain slew Abel and east of Eden Mamma he was cast - we're born into this life paying for the sins of somebody else's past.

Cain slew Abel and Seth knew not why. 

Is a dream I lie that won't come true or is it something worse?

What is a gift torn from you again and again.

Why does Charlie Brown keep trying to kick that fucking football? Why does he keep flying that fucking kite next to the tree expecting different results? 

What is the definition of insanity?

How is it possible just to know the existence of another kind soul in this world can pull you out of a complete tailspin? Even when they are not immediately available to you, just knowing that they are out there somewhere can bring desperately needed calm. Typing into the ether with no response  and yet knowing somehow you are well cared for and worthy. Calmed and soothed before they even have a chance to respond. Somehow knowing they care even without a word. How? How is it possible and yet the results do not lie. So much gratitude just for their existence and knowledge that they are there even in the ether.  

The xmas decoration I received randomly from Amazon (see above) is so awful that it has inspired me. I am going to encourage my son to initiate a Secret Krampus exchange at school when the season draws near. (I believe this is an original idea?) An exchange for the worst "gifts" imaginable. If the idea catches on, remember you heard it here first. 

Is anyone else receiving  random packages from Amazon?

So far I've received"

A godawful christmas ornament

a set of usb cords 

a selfie circle light

ear buds

None of which ordered, none of which appear on my order list, all of which have my name and address correct 

I am puzzled

Scam? Secret admirer  with horrible taste and no clue of me?

IDK

You can go to the ocean day or night and scream your fear and pain and anger and confusion into the waves and no one hears and no one cares. 

The waves swallow all and retreat back to the deep and lap on and on forever their roar drowning all.

Nobody gets what I say,
Must be some way to convey,
But no-one else remembers my name,
Just the parts that I play.
Nobody gets,
Nobody gets me but you.
No-one gets what I've done,
Everyone else seems to look trough.
Oh but maybe I've never wanted them to.
Couldn't count on it anyway.
Nobody gets,
Nobody cuts me like you.
Nobody gets what I say,
Those who know, those who lose.
Those who look trough.
Do they get me?
I thought they get me like you,
Oh no!
Nobody.
Nobody.
Nobody.
No.
Oh no-one.

Do you think he thought, "Aw fuck!" or "Haha bitches look at me now!" or "Oh no, not again." much like a bowl of petunias hurtling towards impact with a distant alien planet?