You can go to the ocean day or night and scream your fear and pain and anger and confusion into the waves and no one hears and no one cares.
The waves swallow all and retreat back to the deep and lap on and on forever their roar drowning all.
Nobody gets what I say,
Must be some way to convey,
But no-one else remembers my name,
Just the parts that I play.
Nobody gets,
Nobody gets me but you.
No-one gets what I've done,
Everyone else seems to look trough.
Oh but maybe I've never wanted them to.
Couldn't count on it anyway.
Nobody gets,
Nobody cuts me like you.
Nobody gets what I say,
Those who know, those who lose.
Those who look trough.
Do they get me?
I thought they get me like you,
Oh no!
Nobody.
Nobody.
Nobody.
No.
Oh no-one.
Do you think he thought, "Aw fuck!" or "Haha bitches look at me now!" or "Oh no, not again." much like a bowl of petunias hurtling towards impact with a distant alien planet?
Sing it Thomas Hobbes, sing it!
My thoughts are chaotic and brief (and yes, often stolen).
Life is a test, and I confess
I like this mess I've made so far
Grade on a curve and you'll observe
I'm right below the horizon
Yes, no, maybe, I don't know
Can you repeat the question?
You're not the boss of me now
You're not the boss of me now
You're not the boss of me now, and you're not so big
She looked me over
And I guess she thought
I was all right
All right in a sort of a limited way
For an off-night
She said don't I know you
From the cinematographer's party
I said who am I
To blow against the wind
I know what I know
I'll sing what I said
We come and we go
That's a thing that I keep
In the back of my head
She said there's something about you
That really reminds me of money
She is the kind of a girl
Who could say things that
Weren't that funny
I said what does that mean
I really remind you of money
She said who am I
To blow against the wind
I know what I know
I'll sing what I said
We come and we go
That's a thing that I keep
In the back of my head
She moved so easily
All I could think of was sunlight
I said aren't you the woman
Who was recently given a Fullbright
She said don't I know you
From the cinematographer's party
I said who am I
To blow against the wind
I know what I know
I'll sing what I said
We come and we go
That's a thing that I keep
In the back of my head
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
To do what in your heart you know you must, to be true to yourself and live your life uncompromised and yet know it will not be viewed favorably.
What is the recourse?
To live your life without compromise and have others look back at your triumph or folly, while they live in the mundane, afraid to venture?
Caring not for anyone's judgement and staying true to you?
In the states we have a suicide prevention hotline and crisis phone number to call. I have never been suicidal but this resource has been helpful on a number of occasions for me. Because I am not suicidal, I preface every call by saying, "I'm not a danger to myself or others," so that they may know they can drop my call at any time if a more urgent need arises. I don't know if this is needed as they seem to be very well staffed but I don't want to put anyone at risk for my 'small' problems.
I say this because I think there is a need for another 9xx number. One for people in relationship crisis. Just an unbiased voice on the other end of the line to listen and possibly provide insight beyond our clouded view.
For when we know what we need to do to have the life we want to have but have no idea on how to get to that place. There will always be struggle when moving on from anything, whether abusive or not. Friends and family all have a stake in our decisions. It would be nice to have an unbiased ear to listen.
That being said, if you are facing turmoil and considering harming yourself or others, PLEASE call 988 or the resource in your area. We need you and we want you well.