It's a never ending shit-show, thanks for asking.

1 year ago. December 9, 2022 at 9:35 AM

Why are we, at least in the states, continually asking, "How are you?" or any of the myriad variations? And why are we continually answering, "OK"?

You don't want to know and I don't want to say.

I've recently started answering OK - ish and the look of horror / or dead air on the phone is palpable. "You've broken the ritual!" "How do I respond!" "Will I have to interact with another human beyond my prescribed, scripted routine!"

I am OK - ish. I'm not to the level of the starving, broken, dead-eyed, fly covered kids that the "Christians" trot out for the holidays every year and run on late night commercials in heavy rotation to try to guilt us into forking over some of our fortune that we had earmarked for a last festive celebration before the long three month slog towards spring to put toward their own twisted OG pyramid scheme. I'm also not to the level of the ribs-out, mud-covered, puppy-mill rejects that Sarah Mclachlan insists on singing over ad infinitum during the afternoon talk-shows. (By the way, there is a shelter in you back yard. Take them a case of cat/dog wet food or a big old bag o' dry and old linens you are not using. The look on the workers faces will tell you you've made much more of a contribution than your "less than a cup of coffee" donation to a multinational money gobbler.)

So yeah, I'm OK ish. I'm fighting a daily struggle with physical, emotional and psychological pain but I'm guessing you are too. Some days it's a miasma in a quagmire of a riddle wrapped in an enigma (OK, most days). ...and so it goes.

So why do we ask? And oh, the horrors when someone actually answers!!! That's 20 minutes of your life you will never get back but at least you learned never to ask that person again!

So why do we ask? Is it just the self-soothing purr of a nervous cat? If they say OK, am I OK too, by proximity or osmosis or the transitive laws of geometry? If they say OK, do I not have to acknowledge the inequities between us and the growing cracks in what we humorously call society? If they are obviously not OK but they say it, does it make it more OK, because if they are obviously fucked up but they can say they are OK does that make my not OK even more OK?

“Life is pain, highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.”

― William Goldman

Or as some fat dead Asian said a while back: Life is suffering and we all know it, so if you must ask, (and I know that you must) everything is OK, I'm fine, and you are too.

Curiousmind(sub female){Owned} - I really enjoyed reading this blog! It reminded me of the time i moved into a new country and had to adjust to a new way of living including a completely different culture. One of the things that amazed me was exactly the same matter that you’ve addressed in your blog.
It was hard for me to accustom to a mechanical way of saying or hearing from others “how are you?” and receiving exactly the same response every single time :” i am ok, or i am fine, thank you”
In the society where I grew up asking someone how he /she is doing always and i mean always meant you would actually hear an honest answer and sometimes a very long story with the reasoning behind 🙂. I must add that the question “ how are you” was polite or accustomed to ask only your friends and relatives and that’s why you always knew you would get an honest answer because these were people who were genuinely interested and cared for each other. We would never ask a stranger “how are you” instead we just say “hello” and proceed with whatever we need to say or ask.

Living in the new country for many years now, i have adapted to the local customs and it doesn’t bother me anymore:) i just say it on autopilot because i know it’s considered a polite way to form the conversations 🙂

1 year ago

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