Thoughts of an orphan

I am unhappy.

I can't remember the last time I was happy. Maybe I was, once, long ago, I  don't recall 

I feel ashamed that after 50 years on this planet I still am unhappy, as unhappy as I was as a teenager. I have not figured out the happiness trick.

Sometimes I think I will never be happy. That I can't be happy.

Sometimes I think no one is happy. They may seem that way but they are pretending or lying to themselves.

Tears come.

My Goddess comforts me. 

She holds me in her arms, the mother I never had.