Thoughts of an orphan

God I hate my mother!

My sexual problems all go back to her.

Withholding love, toying with me, disempowering me.

She makes me feel useless, powerless and deeply ashamed of who I am.

As for my father, he was the punisher, the ranter and the raver.

Now my mother is sick, it all comes back, all of this raw sick misery. In waves.

I fantasize that she's dead. She's not dead. When she is dead, what will come then!