Let's talk about home. A word so commonly used in everyday life, yet what does it truly mean?
Is it a place? The morning mist like a blanket over the rolling hills as they strech their hands in preparation of spring itself; like a sinner begging for forgiveness from his God.
Or is it a state of being? An energy aura that envelopes you in it's warmth. A serenity that brings utter peace within your normally chaotic self. A single water drip on a pool still.
Could it be a person or certain people? A safe place to be yourself, no fear of judgement or rejection. A lazy bubble tub day in the late summer sun; blends of red and orange like the sweetest popsicle.
This person, a lonely heart in her 30 years years of life, has had many opportunities for home and many of thoes opportunities taken from her by no choice of her own. She has also found beautiful glimpses of home, a fragment here and there, a beam of sunlight through the tree branches.
I have found home with my husband and with my child of 1 year. A place where I can be happy and a place where I can be completely broken. Yet I've always felt that there was something missing. A small peice of my soul that waited.
Until the day I decided..
And since I decided that I was done setting for only partly happy when I knew if I just embraced who I was then I could be fully happy.
Next week I will be complete. We will be complete. And I cannot wait. I'm terrified but I know I am safe.
A pardox as sweet as iced tea on a Texas porch.
An enigma that was always elusive even to myself.
A lonely girl waiting for a friend.
A woman waiting for a strong, firm hand to help me feel safe.
A mother new and afraid but so happy.
A wife loyal and supportive I will always love you.
I am a tangle puzzle and I am ready to be figured out!