Today was a really good day and I'm feeling happy. My kid went to her dad's earlier this evening, and I have some seasonal allergies and minor aches so I went to the legal weed store. I do not have any local friends, but I do have associates I talk music with and sell sneakers and garments to. Some of these associates work at the local weed stores. I tend to vibe well with stoners for whatever reason.
So I showed up and saw this woman probably around my age yelling at one of the employees. Turns out he called her 'maam' and she got offended and flipped the fuck out. I didn't defend this boy's honor because I had no clue what went down and maybe he deserved it. But no, he did not. He is from Houston or some shit originally, and he was just trying to be polite. That got me thinking, I've never took 'maam' as an insult. I think the person is just being respectful. Folks only ever took me seriously when they didn't see me in person... Like via email. Even on the phone I'm a little shy and girly. I'm a keyboard gangster though and I'll be serious as hell via email, lol. I enjoy being called maam because I think folks are listening to the words coming out of my mouth for once. I refuse to be offended by a compliment.
No I do not want submissive guys to continue to message me. No offense.
I really am trying to get my courage up to try to actually agree to meet a guy from here eventually. I would like to play this doll shit with another human and I know I come off as tough and sort of confident but I haven't had sex in like five years and have had fewer than five sexual partners in my entire life. I am embarrassed by this I'm not humble bragging. And I'm autistic so I get nervous about my personality and I constantly think every man is a suspicious character. Paradoxically, I'm afraid of commitment so it's all kind of fucked up and nonsensical. I'm dipping my toes in the vanilla dating world, and it never seems to be the right time to discuss this fetish shit with these folks. But I don't want some low level project manager pretending to be dominant and telling me to lick his ass and calling me names when he is the real bitch of this group.
I would like to eventually try sex with another person but it's risky as hell. This is one behavior chain I would like to break, however.
