I was asked yesterday, what is it
you love? Why do you feel the need
to submit? Why do you chase it, why
do you crave it? It took a while
to make a list. To put reasons to
a driving force. A base instinct. A need.
First answer foremost, to belong. To
be someone's submissive. Cared for,
looked after. Used and abused and taken
for your benefit and mine. To have someone
know the things I don't know myself.
To have someone see me, all of me, and
feed those parts of my soul that I have
starved. That I don't know how to nurture.
To feel seen, as something more than
teacher or mother or friend. Leader. Atlas,
holding up the world. To be a purely
sexual creature. A vulnerable one. To be
able to be weak. To crawl or cry. To be
told that I am a good girl. And then,
darker, it's to find those places inside myself,
the part that loves pain, the part that loves fear,
the part that longs to serve, to endure for
his pleasure. The masochist, in body
and mind. She is hungry too. All these things,
but also, simply, just to offer what i have
in the hope that someone thinks I'm worthy.