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Simple Chaos

My journey of self discovery. Finally able to hear and follow my intuition, to reach the Higher me The God's deemed me to be.
2 years ago. Monday, April 24, 2023 at 12:19 PM

---The start of this story was quiet literally a moment in time that my senses and what have you had.....remembered or flashed back to...I just put it in to words, and for that reason, hadn't thought to continue it. Until I went to bed.......right befor sleep gives way to dreams.  So the following is what it is. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I have enjoyed writing it.-

 

                                                     The scent of her skin mingled with that of the desire that now coated the insides of her thighs. Stronger now that he was upon her than when he had first detected it from across the hall. His woman had been watching him. Feeling reckless, she fixed her gaze just above the heads of those last few to leave. Reaching up she buried her fingers into his beard. Scraping her nails along his cheek, “ Whatever do you mean dear husband, I was simply thinking on how Flora’s grandson had grown while away with his father.” she mummered sweetly. Glancing at his wife he followed the direction of her gaze. He knew his people well and that was not their cooks' grandsons back going out the door. She thought to provoke him did she. Though he knew his woman's eyes had only been for him, the mere thought of them not being had the blood rushing in his ears and red staining the edges of his vision. The wood beneath his palms gave a plaintive creak as his fingers tightened around the arms of her chair. Her eyes flew to his profile, heart thudding as she took note of the muscle twitching in his jaw. He looked long ways back at her and narrowed his eyes. “ Is that so…” the words were deceptively soft, barely above a whisper. Standing, he abruptly turned and headed for the door. Startled by his unusual exit she cried out, “Where are you going?” “For a swim.” came his reply followed by the slaming of the large oak door. 

As she waited for his return, she readies herself for bed. Taking extra care with her appearance in an attempt to destract him from being angry. The wine must have gone to her head. She hadn’t meant to anger him. Was simply makeing a jest. Yet she should have known better than to jest in such a manner. Her husband was a very possive and jealous man. Normally this fact thrilled her to her core. One then two hours pass and still, he hadn’t returned. Wrapping his long black silk robe around her nakedness and takeing a brace of candles from the mantle, she went in search of him. Just as she decended the last few steps into the hall, steam and smoke filled the room as everything was thrown into pitch black. SHIT she thought as once again heart started to pound. There was only the small halo of light that surrounded her cast by the brace of 3 candles she carried. Not near enough light to penatrate the darkness of the entire hall. Suddenly a spark flared to life at the far end of the hall. She watched as the small spark set the wick of a single small candle to life the disappeared. The small candle she knew set on the matle above the fire he had just drowned. Turning her back to the room she bent and set her candles down. It was their game they had played many times. Rules were simple, if she can make it to the other end of the hall with at least one flame on her candles still burning, she wins. Yet with every flame he was able to snatch away, she had to pay a penalty in order to continue with what reamained of her flames. A slow heavy ach began deep inside her womanhood. She had to work at keeping her breathing steady and the smile from her lips as she reached up and slowly let his robe slide from her body and pool at her feet. Taking her time as she gathered her hair and knoted it atop her head. Unlike her, his kean senses hadn’t been diluted over the generations. His were just as powerful today as the day the Gods gifted his ansestors with them. He could see, hear and smell her just as well in the dark smoke filled hall now as he could beside her in the bright of day. Picking up her brace of candles, she held them as close to her body as she dared. She had only taken a few small steps forward, befor a familer hiss broke the silence and snatched the flame from one of her candles. A small trickle of apprehension creeped up her spine……he was pissed. The remaining two flames in her brace, wavered slightly as her hand gone shakey set them upon the floor. Standing she took a deep breath and thought a moment. Once again, keeping the smile from her face. Standing straight, she plants her feet about two feet apart, raised her arm and crossed them behind her head at the wrists. Archeing her back and ass in way she knew pleased him, and waited.

 

2 years ago. Sunday, April 23, 2023 at 3:32 AM

She stood there watching him. Still, to this day, after 20 yrs of marriage, the man made her nervous. In that beautiful blooming way that only he could . He wasn’t the tallest or largest of men. There was more than one viking over six and a half feet.Nor was he the shortest or smallest by far. Pride warmed her heart as she watched her husband with his men and their families. Everyone, men, women, big and small, high born and low born the same made way for her husband as he walked among them. Their body language spoke of their respect and affection for him. As well as their words and deeds. Rightly so! He had more than earned and proved he was worthy of their regard. 

All the soft spots in her as a woman slowly started to sizzle as she let her eyes travel the length of him. The mere sight of his neck brings the smell of him flooding into her senses. The soft spot under his chin, beneath his long beard was home. Fine well worn leather vest stretched across well formed shoulders. His arms bespoke the years he spent perfecting his craft. Lean firm muscles that led to wrists and hands that had a legend of their own. Long beautiful fingers. Strong enough to leave delicious bruises yet graceful and soft while inside her. This thought has the breath stopping in her lungs. When her eyes fell to his waist, her next thought had her sitting rather abruptly into her chair. The finley plated leather of his belt made her thighs quiver and her woman’s juices leak. Dragging her eyes from his belt, she adoringly took in one of her favorite parts of him. Long legs that eat up the ground yet tread quiet and smooth. She never knew what it was about a man with legs….. But Gods be praised her man had them. Watching as those gorgeous legs turned and began to slowly stride her direction, her eyes traveled back up the length of him and locked with his. Amusement danced in their blue depths and shined brightly with pure male satisfaction. Her stomach flip flops as he place one hand on either side of her chair and leans in close. “ You’ve got that look about you woman.” he growls, brushing his lips across hers and along her jawline, he buries his face into her neck and inhales deeply. 

 

2 years ago. Saturday, April 22, 2023 at 11:58 PM

The platform for which my feet are planted on, 

continues to tremble and shake.      

The abrasive and chaotic noises from ahead quicken my pace. 

With a song that never changes and is yet never the same,

 Here is another one I must face. 

Still, one more gauntlet to be raced, 

 more tears to be bleed, more demons to be chased.

 

2 years ago. Saturday, April 22, 2023 at 6:58 AM

Just hold on,

driving through the valley of 

The Great Unknown

open up the headlights, 

Shine on. 

Everyone around you has 

A heart of stone. 

But you just roll on. 

Just roll on.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2 years ago. Friday, April 21, 2023 at 1:01 AM

I was having a conversation with a friend today about some messages I had been getting. Ladies, you know the ones, where the fellas are like, “ I got yada and I own yada, and I can give you yada, you ain't gotta do nothing but yada, I yada yada got you..”  

 

UGH!!!…… Peacock much mf?

 

Then I was telling her about a conversation I had had this morning with a new friend, and how I was worried about my new friend thinking I was a “gold digger.” I do love my friend, for at times I really am a simpleton. She pointed a few things out to me that I had missed and then suggested I kill two birds with one stone. (no pun intended?)  

 

So for the record, To any and all who know or may care to know me, let me make one thing abundantly and crystal clear,........

 

  I AM NOT THE PRINCESS, I DO NOT NEED SAVING. I AM THE QUEEN. I GOT ME AND MINE. I DO NOT NEED NOR DO I WANT A MAN TO “TAKE CARE OF ME” IF I WANT IT, I GOT IT, I’LL GET IT, I’LL BUY IT.

 

I spent many years being with a man whom I had unknowingly let have control over me in every sense of the word. I left that shit years ago and never looked back. I have made damn sure that I will never again have to ask a man for anything, ESPECIALLY when it comes to money. 

 

What I want, what I’m looking for can not be bought, can not be sold. Now don't get me wrong. I’m no different than any other female. I like nice things, I’d like to look down and see shiny things on my fingers and wrists, nice clothes draping my body, expensive smell good on my neck. Who wouldn’t……But these things are not what's important to me. I do no NEED them things to be happy. I want to be loved and accepted for being me, unconditionally. I want to be safe and feel secure in knowing that I am protected. I want to be cherished and adored for the person that I am, To be nurtured and be allowed to grow in any direction I want. I want to matter to someone for the Love and Light that I have in me that makes their world brighter and happier. I want to be valued for what I can bring to the table emotionally, mentally, spiritually first…then and only then I want to be worshiped for what I bring to the bedroom/playroom/ dungeon room…..

To say to me, “you look like you would be fun,” is the same thing as saying to me, “you are nothing.”

I am not that little girl on the playground anymore. You can not hand me candy with one hand while shoving your other hand into my panties. I am not that scared, beat down house wife that thinks she's worthless and deserves less anymore.  

I Am Lady Stone muther fuckers…….

act accordingly.

 

 

2 years ago. Thursday, April 6, 2023 at 7:14 PM

If only a muther fucker was.

                             by: L.Stone

 

 

If only the MF had been real…

The lines I’d let him cross, lengths I would have let him go to.

All the miles I would have let him take from every inch of me

I could have forgiven anything he ever could say or do.

 

If only the MF had been real..

The lengths I would have let him take me to.

Cross countless miles to run my hand over mere inches of skin.

Would have let him say, do anything, while inside of me.

 

If only the MF had been real….

My heart wouldn’t be broke, my bed cold and my box empty

I wouldn’t be lost if twisted in his knots his rope around my throat

Clouds of fear and doubt, he had the words to melt them away

 

If only the MF had been real…

Endless silliness just to hear his laughter ringing in my ear.

Log countless hrs, loading packs, jumping from planes, swinging axes, and power washing.

Untangled cords, kept up with and track of tink tinks toys, his shit and all that he forgets.

Would have ripped the heart from my own chest just to quiet the voices plaguing his head.

 

If only the MF had been real……

I wouldnt be fucking confused about who these scars really belong to.

I would be able to see clearly, the man that shifted great change in me.

I would know who I hurt for, cried for and missed, if he had really exist .

 

 

 

2 years ago. Saturday, April 1, 2023 at 4:55 PM

I love music and words.......lol 

I may not be able to articulate how I'm feeling but you can bet I got a song at the ready that can.  My dream....to see Trevor Jones conduct a live orchestra in The last of the Mohicans...(..

.....to be in the midsts of such sounds.....

The following is and older song.....that along with the above mentioned, (a bit cliche, I know), have been on me hard of late.

 

 

 

 

Savin' Me

/

Lyrics

Prison gates won't open up for me

On these hands and knees I'm crawlin'

Oh, I reach for you, well I'm terrified of these four walls

These iron bars can't hold my soul in

All I need is you, come please, I'm callin'

And, oh, I scream for you

Hurry, I'm fallin', I'm fallin'

Show me what it's like

To be the last one standing

And teach me wrong from right

And I'll show you what I can be

Say it for me, say it to me

And I'll leave this life behind me

Say it if it's worth saving me

Heaven's gates won't open up for me

With these broken wings I'm fallin' and all I see is you

These city walls ain't got no love for me

I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story

And, oh, I scream for you come please

I'm callin' and all I need from you, hurry, I'm fallin', I'm fallin'

Show me what it's like

To be the last one standing

And teach me wrong from right

And I'll show you what I can be

Say it for me, say it to me

And I'll leave this life behind me

Say it if it's worth saving me

Hurry, I'm fallin'

And all I need is you

Come please, I'm callin'

And, oh, I scream for you

Hurry, I'm fallin', I'm fallin', I'm fallin'

Show me what it's like

To be the last one standing

And teach me wrong from right

And I'll show you what I can be

And say it for me, say it to me

And I'll leave this life behind me

Say it if it's worth saving me, hurry, I'm fallin'

Say it for me, say it to me

And I'll leave this life behind me

Say it if it's worth saving me

2 years ago. Thursday, March 30, 2023 at 6:27 PM

I know you hear me. I know you are there. I feel your awareness of me.  Dark Prince....you keep to your shadows. Which of us is more afraid of the other?  I believe in you. I have faith in you. I need you.

2 years ago. Thursday, March 30, 2023 at 6:18 PM

This is the perfect example of how ones instinct will guide them in times of great........chaos. 

True enough.... Would that I could fight these hounds of hell off myself. If for no other reason than to keep from having trust another enough to lay them bare to......only to fall short, yet again.... 

 

When I posed my question I had no idea just how deep the introspection in to my.....

Sirsbabydoll......... I fucking love you chic. Sista Queen to Sista Queen. In your response to "stumping the professor", it's as if the Gods granted a voice to my hearts whispering. I'm still crying like a small child 20 minutes after reading it.  I Thank you, with all my being.

 

DaddyDrago...... I will say with all due respect... Your partner is very lucky. Sirsbabydoll is right.......Most Dom's care more for their ego and cocks than they do their Subs...... Shit....I believe that can be said about most men in general.  I'm thinking if there be a "How to be a good Dom 101 for rookies"  you should probably be the one to head that up....lol  just saying......would save a lot of future subs some heartache.

 

To all of you whom has read and or answered, to this whole community.... I thank you, each and every one. I give thanks to the Universe for leading me to this place and to you. 

 

2 years ago. Tuesday, March 28, 2023 at 8:14 PM

I pose this question to the Doms out there whom have and/or have had an extended and meaningful relationship with...

-Or-

Imagine if you will, your in such a relationship.

 

Scene----

Satan himself hovers in a cloud of sulfer and smoke, watching you intently. About one hundred yards infront of you, the starving hounds of hell circle your unconconcious Sub. Jaws snapping as foam dripps from razor sharp teeth, The feast of flesh before them rattleing their hunger crazed minds.

You have one of two choices.  Turn.....and walk away, leave her to fill hounds bellies. 

Or. you can save her, simply by crossing those one hundred yards and taking her hand. 

There's only one condition.

You must crawl the length of those one hundred yards.

 

What do you do?

 

(please note, the action to crawl isn't asked as in a form of submission, but more so towards the,,"don't ask of one what you are unwilling to give yourself"  kind of thing, which I still think has some blurred lines when in a D/S relationship, but not so much so for me, that the question cant be asked.)

Thank you ahead of time for those of you who choose to answer. I welcome any response from Subs or whom ever has an intelligent response .

Love and Light to you all.