Sinful & Sweet

-Reblogged-

What I want a dominant that knows how to communicate effectively and is loving, nurturing, and patient. I want to feel safe physically, emotionally, and mentally. I want a dominant that is secure in who they are and is ready and able to take on the responsibility of another person (me).

I want a dominant who will accept all of me and not try to fix me unless I ask for help. I want a dominant that will grow with me and work on themselves just as much as they demand I work on myself in whatever areas that need work. I want a best friend, lover, and partner in crime as we journey together in this crazy ass world. I am certain no such person exists sadly. 

 ~B~

I feel this on so many levels and for a really long time I didn't think a person like that existed either... Until now... I read a lot of love books and the Dom is always this person who has issues on the inside deeply but on the outside, they have their shit together or are cold. I found this person in the pain... I found someone who seems the real me... the one who I don't have to hide an inch of my soul and that feeling is so amazing. 

Today I am consumed with thoughts and need to put them somewhere so why not here… I am the type of person who keeps track of time and dates. It may get annoying to some people but these things matter to me. I remember the day we started talking and the thought I had when I saw his profile. The smile I couldn’t wipe off my face for days. The butterflies I felt… The feeling of being so tired but fighting like hell to stay awake just to talk to him… the nerves that he wouldn’t be there when I woke up but the excitement I felt the next day to wake up to a message from him… I remember things because they make me happy… I remember the good and the bad… I even write down dates that mean something to me… because if we make it far I will always look back and the ups and downs and think we made it this far and were still going and if we don’t make it I will look back fondly at the lessons I learned.  My Dom is a special being and I am so grateful for him every day. Even when he is busy I still feel the same as when we met.. the butterflies… the smiles… the laughs.. the yearning… the excitement when his name comes across my phone… I am consumed by the feelings I have for him... He calms the storm in me at times and it is the best feeling in the world… to be seen… to be cherished… to be cared for and validated… Why wouldn’t I want to remember and celebrate the day we met… The day I became his… The good days and the bad ones… I am happy to see us grow…

Today was a huge day… I am officially his… It takes my breath away and I feel like I can finally put my guard down…  It feels like coming home after such a long fucking journey and I can finally lay my head down. It's an amazing feeling…

I guess I am old school and by this I mean I learned the first part of being interested in someone to be in the dynamic you enter the consideration stage… Things have changed and now it's vetting…  Asking questions to get to know them and their kink like What are their limits? What form of BDSM do they practice or want in a relationship? Do they practice in real life or online only? What are their views on safewords? Basically getting to know them in-depth and seeing if you have a connection with them. I guess that makes sense in a way. Communication is the key to everything. It’s how a foundation is created. Communication can be tricky and difficult. To clearly and accurately communicate one first needs to understand what it is they are trying to explain. Knowing yourself what you want, need, and even what triggers you. It is crucial to communicate that with someone clearly and help them understand what makes you tick. The other beautiful part is being able to understand the other person clearly as well. This can take time and trial and error to learn how to communicate together and be able to grow. Once that happens then the next part of the journey begins… Blending the needs, limits, and kinks/fetishes of those involved into a clean and clear roadmap is wonderful to be involved in or to watch. It is a masterpiece.

Its sad that I think I'm fine then I read a book and all the issues that I’ve kept in a box start pouring out like pandora's box. Now here I am trying to put them all away... so minus well break down this issue... I miss having a Daddy… I miss it so much it aches every inch of me…. Being a little and a kitten makes it difficult because people either see one or the other. Hardly it is ever seen as one. 

I was asked What is it about a Daddy that appeals to me?  What would I get from it? What do I enjoy?  What is my little side like?

I am not entirely sure how to answer some things but I guess I’ll write and let the flow hopefully answer all of it. I’ve always known I had a little side the parts of me that don’t want to adult and serve everyone and just want to enjoy the moment. When I’m in little space which isn’t often since I need to feel safe. I enjoy watching Disney movies and eating little food like corn dogs, French fries, chicken nuggets… food made by my daddy. I like to color and cuddle with my stuffies and I usually still wear my pet gear in little space and have snacks in my kitten bowl. It's the things that make me happy. I like forts and playgrounds… When I have a daddy I feel cherished and safe. I feel loved deeply because I know in my heart a daddy knows how important and precious their little one is. I like that daddy’s are teachers and mentors they don’t mind a curious mind and they enjoy answering questions and expanding their littles knowledge. Calling my Dom Daddy means I feel safe with you and have the biggest amount of trust in you. I have no doubts that you will take care of me like I take care of me or better. I dont doubt that you have my best interest at heart. No one is perfect and things happened but I know that you will properly communicate with me and make sure we overcome everything stronger. 

Being a daddy is hard because they have to be strong for their littles but as a little, we are strong for our daddies too. This lifestyle is a two-way street.