Maybe this is a common story, maybe it isn't but I think that it's interesting. A while ago I had a conversation with an older person. A person that had lived a long and relatively happy and fulfilling life. When I asked that person if they had any regrets in life or if they would change anything they told me a little story.
I was told the most difficult things in life are putting yourself out there. Before you do, most people lurk in the background waiting for "the right moment". Some people never find that right moment and live the entirety of their lives wishing that they had taken the risk. This person told me how they had aspirations for something bigger when they were young and they were told, and they thought, that the right course of action was to bide their time and wait for the right opportunity.
After a while it seemed that opportunity would never come. They felt unseen and in the background. Lurking in the shadows behind everything and everyone else standing firmly in the spotlight. They lost hope in ever getting their chance at what they wanted. Even though they had great ideas and the ability to carry them out they resolved themselves to live in the shadows just out of sight and continue doing what they had always done.
This is where this person was, firmly rooted when another even happened that changed their perspective. Something that gave them a different point of view. You see, most people are afraid to put themselves out there, to take a risk, start a conversation, or make a proposal. Most people hold themselves back from the potential of something great because they are scared. They are scared of rejection or ridicule, at least that's what they tell themselves. What they are really afraid of though, is that they aren't good enough themselves.
The truth is that their fear is completely baseless. It has no foundation other than what they have built themselves. Others may have contributed to it, but only because the person let them. Once you decide that you are good enough, and understand that good enough does not mean perfect, then you can do and have and experience great things. For this person that realization happened from a colleague retiring and telling him how he regretted never taking the chance to step forward and stand out.
After that his life perspective changed. It was a powerful shift. He decided that he was no longer going to wait for the right time, because if you do nothing but wait it will never come. If you do nothing but wait, you have no idea what you could be missing. The first change he took a chance on was professional. He stepped forward, introduced himself to people in his company that were much higher on the ladder, and made suggestions on improving how they did business. He didn't go forward with just problems, he did what most people don't and offered solutions. Soon after he was promoted, and started implementing changes with resounding success. Eventually he worked all they way up to being the COO of the company. According to him if he had never had the change in mindset, he likely would have still been working at the lowest levels, but he took a chance.
The next change that he made was in his personal and romantic life. He felt that he had been lurking in the background for far too long, observing from a far and afraid to approach the women that he was interested in. One day he decided to change that and he approached a woman that he had liked for a long time. The chance he took this time didn't work out, she turned him down, but it taught him an important lesson. His fear of the rejection was far worse than the rejection itself, and now he could move on and move forward.
Self admittedly he was not a ladies man at that time by any means, but he realized that you will never know unless you take a chance and ask. Doing just that, taking the chance, and walking up to a woman and introducing himself and asking the question is what lead him to his wife of over 50 years. As he put it "she was way out of my league and still is", but he took the chance asking the girl at the diner if she would like to go out, and she took a chance in saying yes. A woman that he never would have even considered approaching before ended up his wife because he took a chance and asked a question and didn't let the fear of failure hold him back.
The reason that I say all of this is because I have talked to people in the past. These people have confessed that they have lurked in the background, observed from a distance and were afraid to take a chance. They were afraid to take a risk and ask the question. They were afraid that they would fail. The truth is that you might, but it's not going to be as bad as you thought if you do. If you don't take the risk how will you ever know. Don't punish yourself to always lurking in the shadows when you just might find what you have always been looking for.
So to end this off, I give you full permission to step out of the shadows. To step forward, to take a risk, to send a message. It is ok and you can do it. Your fear is worse than actually doing it I promise you. I've been there before, I know what it's like, and I give you permission to get out from under that rock. Be bold, take a risk, learn from the experience, and if it doesn't work out try it again and again and again if need be because someday it will work out.
The things that are really worth it require you to take a risk, to take a chance, and ask the question.
