This morning as I was getting my day started, my beautiful rescue Kerry Beagle was up and ready to go this morning. He is crate trained. He usually likes to hang out in it until around 9:30 am, but today, something was different for him, so we got started earlier than usual.
As I was walking him in the cool of the morning, I was pondering the idea of a cage. As with most things for me, the thought of him in a cage, led to another thought, then another, until I arrived at a lesson (for lack of a better term).
I began questioning what this community is to me. What it is that I like about it here (what I don't), and what it is to me.
The question that landed was "what is a cage intended for?" Note that we don't call it a prison, or a cell. It is a "cage." To answer that question I went down the list of things that use the word cage. Bird cage was the first I thought of. Well, birds are kept in cages usually indefinitely, but not always. Many people open the cage and allow their feathered friend time to fly around, until they usually return on their own. That is the piece that was connecting.
Just as the bird or my pup, creatures will frequently return to the place that they find some degree of security, comfort, peace, even though it is still by definition "a cage."
There will be days when I am looking for my pup everywhere, only to find him laying inside his crate (cage)--door open and at peace.
Each time I return, it is usually because I miss something special. Though I have met only a few of you in person, this is the only "cage," that has resulted in memories I have carried with me for years. When I return here, I find some of the same people still writing, still laughing, and still horny 😆 🤣.
It is definitely those connections that bring me back. I return to the place where I can find people who have been friendly to me. I find them to remain friendly with me, even though I've been absent. I am very appreciative of that.
I am 53 years old. I left a cage that no longer offered me the "no strings" type of friendships (church/religion). Friendships with strings end when strings are broken. I learned that isn't friendship.
When I can return to a place where the door stands open, and I can rest in it--I can go and come <ahem> as I please--I can share ideas, thoughts and feelings with others who do the same, I realize it isn't a cage for me. It is a home. One that I haven't truly valued in that way until now.
Sure, there is a lot of drama around here at times. Most homes have their share of drama. There are people who stop by unannounced and trouble the balance in the force, but then go away. What is beautiful is that many of you are still here after all the years of those wayward people looking for their home.
When I first came here, I wasn't looking for a place to find friends. I was looking for a dynamic. I was looking for a Dom. Now, I am only interested in rebuilding the friendships I started that have been on pause while I was away figuring some things out.
To those who have been friendly to me, you have no idea how thankful I am for you. In a time when connections become less and less available, I realize just how sweet it is to have these online connections. I came from the AOL, ICQ, and other mIRC programs and communities of the mid 90s. I've met lots of people from all over the world online. Many of those programs are gone now. Those connections were lost because we had no idea the programs would just go away and never shared contact information. I still think of many of those people. For all I know, some of you may be some of those people.
I guess my final point is this, a cage isn't intended to hold people forever. It has different functions for different situations. It is interesting that people who want restraint can find it in the same place others want security. Though we may look for different things, may our friendships endure and we continue to learn how to make the cage an inclusive environment.
Hugs!