What does a collar really mean to you?

Adding candles to one's cake can be terrifying as we wander into aging.  I am writing this today in remembrance of a dear friend of mine who had just turned 54 just before Halloween.  When you have known someone for better than 25 years, stood by her through 2 divorces, the loss of a teenage child, and being diagnosed with cancer, only to lose her is painful. I recall the first time she and I met in person and how nervous this young woman was.  She was embarrassed because I openly spoke about the pleasures of bondage as we ate dinner together in Chicago.  Blushing profusely as I asked her about her fantasies and female orgasms.  I recall looking at some older people looking at us in shock.  😄 I told her - "they know not what they have missed out on."  

I introduced her to her grieving husband and Dom some years later, and they hit it off together.  He had also been divorced for a few years and was looking for more than just an overnight love bunny.  I was the best man at their wedding. I don't believe anyone at the wedding or reception knew just how fricking kinky these two were away from prying eyes.  They did everything together, traveled, partied, and enjoyed their families. 

Breast cancer is a horrible thing to be diagnosed with.  She found out in January, had a double mastectomy and radiation treatments - but the cancer was bad and it was devastating.  The surgeons took my identity as a woman,  she cried.

As a man, I know that men too can be stricken with this disease, but it is quite rare.  Her husband did his best in his attempts to help her through this and prayed for her recovery.  Depressed, in pain, and worried about her looks as a woman, I believe that these feelings worked to bring her down. 

I will always have a soft spot for this lady who left us and our D/s community at such an early age.  The world is a lesser place without her. 

Pardon my ramblings all.  I too have had a few drinks in the last few days - what a loss, and so young.  It makes this ole 71 Y.O. lifelong Dom remember just how precious life is. 

If you are a woman who reads my rambling,  PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE - do not forgo your breast exams.  Some of these cancers grow rapidly! 

Life has many paths - the ones you choose can lead you to enlightenment or failure.

Fantasies are hidden dreams many have but only a few act upon.
We are slightly above ANIMALS. We were meant in the circle of life to have instincts. Men have an instinct to protect women, while women have an instinct to cater to men!

I believe that is why in the late 40s and fifties men went to work, while women stayed at home and waited for their husbands to return.  Divorce was almost unheard of! Men worked, and women raised children.  Childcare was only for the rich and famous!

TODAY - much of this natural behavior has been forced into the shadows of our minds and history.  Most men are no longer the protectors our fathers once were.  Women have lost their way as well.  The younger generation no longer looks for the perfect marriage or seeks to be a stay-at-home wife.

Femininity has fallen away from wearing dresses, modesty, security, and yes to a degree obedience. We men remain physically stronger than women. Women still have their nurturing instincts, yet have forgotten how to make a meal, keep a home, or even how to please and keep a man's attention.   Men hop from woman to woman, while women jump from bed to bed!

Don't get me wrong - I am not a misogynist - rather a realist! I am well aware that a woman can do 98% of all jobs a man can. That pendulum swings both ways. Men cannot have babies, women are not meant to be as strong physically as men.

Yet we are BOUND to each other through our animal instinct to make love, interact, or have families.  To this day, many no longer respect their mate or their promises, the family CORE is broken. 

WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO? Life is short, nobody knows when our sands of time run out.  FACT we will not live forever!

 Are you strong enough to act upon your desires, no matter how dark, secret, or diverted you are to our society's teachings?   Having enjoyable SEX is one of our makers' greatest gifts to mankind.   That goes for old farts as I, as well!

In the beginning, there was a young man in his junior year of high school.  This young man had a new girlfriend who was a " Good" girl from a strict Christian home, whose father did not approve of her boyfriend.  This young man was often referred to as Jerk, by the young woman's father!   Could it be possible for her father to somehow know where his little girl would wind up?   

Well, Ladies and Gents  -  I was that Jerk!    I had been looking at the magazines under my father's bed for years.  The adverts in the back often showed women in precarious situations - in harnesses, leather and rubber clothes, and tight crotch belts of sorts. 

I often wondered what it would feel like to hold a woman while so helpless, with her hands unable to protect the very essence of her femininity.  My fantasies were rewarded the very first time I was able to acquire a set of handcuffs at a sporting goods store which at that time sold police gear.   As I recall I spent about $14 dollars for the handcuffs which I brought to school to show to my girl.  I had a car and was driving while she was forced to take the bus every day.  I offered to drive her home, and she immediately noticed the handcuffs hanging from the rearview mirror of my car. 

Out of the blue, the love of my life asked what are those for?   To which I replied - those are for you to wear for me on occasion.  She was an energetic young woman excited by the fact of being helpless in cuffs. We had been having sex in my car for a few months so when the time presented itself one night at the drive-in movie, I placed her hands in the cuffs behind her back.  ASs the movie began, it was dark and nobody could see into my car parked way in the back of the lot. I slowly began to unbutton her blouse and pulled down her skirt. There she sat, almost naked in just her bra and girdle - afraid that someone would come by and see her so nasty and vulnerable.  Lucky for me the old Cadillac I had had power seats, that could be moved to fully recline.  Yes, you all know what happened next - the open bottom girdle was unhooked and pulled up while her blouse was bunched up behind her.  I came way too quickly, but soon recovered and had her again, this time for her excitement as well.  

From then on the cuffs hung from my mirror!   Her girlfriends too wanted to explore the feeling of being cuffed, but sadly I never enjoyed any of the other girls.  I was Hooked,  and over the next few decades became the DOM I am today!   The journey included me learning how to spank a woman, later adding whips, canes, floggers, paddles, and more. The cuffs ( which I still have today) provide me fond memories of those days long ago. Of course, through the years - harnesses, leather restraints of many types, gags, hoods, masks, collars, Korsets, chastity belts, tens units, candles, and many more adult toys have been added to my repertoire, but they still build a fire in my loins when used on a consensual, submissive, woman.   

Hello to all of you Salacious Perverts, and a very Merry Christmas to all!

As I sit here nearing the holidays in front of my computer, I begin to ponder how many of you are doing the holiday gig alone.

Oh don't get me wrong - I've been there myself several times over the years as well.  Either on the computer, sitting in front of my TV by my fireplace, or looking at the tree I decorated myself.  My thoughts go back to the time I was married, or single with a girlfriend and how nice it was to converse, hold and enjoy holiday sex together. 

But, then reality sets in and I once again am alone.  Oh, I am not complaining, there are advantages to being single!  There is no one around to remind you to pick up after yourself, complain about hairs in the sink, or if you are a woman - the amount of make-up cluttering up the bathroom.  Guys - remember to put the toilet seat down, or suffer the ire of a high-pitched scream in the wee hours of the night, and the stern words that follow! Girls - Tampons do flush when you pull the handle down, and favorite bras or panties hanging on the shower rod - to us, dudes, appear to be tactless.  All the fun of a relationship now brings a smile to our faces!  

Holiday shopping is easy when you're just shopping for one or our parents if they are still with us! Today we order it all online, which makes shopping so much easier with no further interactions, even gift-wrapped at an extra charge!  Ahh the day when we marched endlessly through the local malls. We wondered what to get her/him, and will it be indeed what they wanted? Yes, the single life can be grand - but do we really miss the hassles of arguments, long ago, which today seem immature, asinine, or a power struggle? Were these "fights" really worth the damage to any relationship?  Compromise you say?  Not me at 18, 19, 20 or even 28!   Age brings us the realities of life, love, and sorrow.  Losing family or friends scars our hearts, just as badly as a nasty breakup! 

Today as I sit in front of this miracle we call our smartphones and computers  - I have to wonder how many single people like myself are thinking of the warmth it brings to the heart,  as you snuggle up with a woman or man you love and care about, by the crackle of a fire with a nice glass of wine!   Ahh the Holidays - God Bless, a time of depression for some, a time of love, life, lust, and good fortune for the lucky. 

I have loved, danced, and enjoyed, several great ladies throughout my decades of life, and look back at some who left an indelible mark on my mind, and heart, and wonder where days are today.  Special ladies who wore the corsets I bought for them, loved the heel, PVC, leather, and Latex outfits, or the harnesses I placed them in!   Oh, how they struggled, danced, and built the heat in me, by just being the woman they are, sexy, warm, teasing, and flirtatious.

I miss this one lady whom I think of often!  Corseted, dressed, and lying near my Christmas Tree, waiting for the joy about to be bestowed upon her - the warmth of two bodies enjoying God's gift of pleasure as she waits for Santa to Cum!  LOL!

Well - maybe next year this ole Dom will be a bit luckier. 

Well, all - it's the Holiday Season again, and for those of you who do not have a partner to play with, or buy for, I know the feeling.   This is the time of the year when many of us get the Blues as we are surrounded by couples sharing their time together, shopping for gifts, or going on holiday!

It is also the time some of us single people wind up being alone, drinking alone, and feeling alone, especially the people in my age group 50-80.  Many of us no longer have our parents to visit, and often feel apprehensive about visiting (dropping -In) on our siblings.  Blessed are those who have grandchildren to enjoy, but it is not the same as having a partner, lover, slave, or submissive to have fun with!  Even if you are lucky to have met a boy toy, girl toy, or friendly partner, taking them to visit your family can be difficult, stressful, or costly for all.  Did I mention - that many of us seniors can get the blues during this time?  Indeed I have. 

Would those of you afflicted by the Holiday Blues raise their right hand, or at least glass and toast all the people we love, have loved, or lost due to medical issues, accidents,  crime, or worse Suicide?  As I sit in my living room, armchair, by the fireplace and watch the flames dance over the logs, I can't help but to ponder about all the people much like me, sitting alone this holiday.   We continue to live on - not knowing when the reaper come to take us home to our lord, and pray that the people we love, or will love find themselves safe, happy, and full of life!   January First will begin another year, continue the quest for somebody to share life blessings with, perhaps for me, Santa will leave a woman bound tight in a corset, harness, and latex suit under my Christmas Tree this year!   If it was not to be, then at least leave me a bottle of good wine to drink as I watch the flames burning down the logs to embers!

Merry Christmas to you all!

I have been a DOM since learning about the Physical and mental pleasures associated with loving, owning, and providing needed suffering to women in my senior year.  Having grown up in the 1960s when women were burning their bra, and ditching their girdles, I became aware of the fact that some craved discipline, restraint, and even punishment.  We were all young, and some remembered fearing corporal punishments often administered to young women by their fathers or more so mothers!  Yes, the strap, belt, fly swatter, and even lamp cords were used by parents who would not worry then, about interference from DCFS or police. 

Flash forward - to 2000.  Then in their late 30 to forties, many well-established, educated, business owners, lawyers, nurses, C.E.O.s, Police Officers, Judges, or Military Officers with their careers in full swing! Many are married with children, or Divorced, and looking for structure, direction, and for some much, much, more! 

Men have become weak, some even pansies very afraid to speak their minds or offend anyone.  The ladies however want a strong, decisive, masculine man, who is not afraid to turn them over his knee and swat their bottoms when the time comes for a spot-on correction!   

Many of the fine specimens of female flesh I have enjoyed or met are tired of their vanilla husbands who care more about their cars, friends, or football games than playing adult games in their bedrooms or for fun.  It appears that the more power a woman has, the more stress she is choiceless to endure and that S T R E S S need relief! 

The ladies feel cheated by the years gone by and are often frustrated with their own reality of age, changes in body styles, wrinkles, or even physical issues.  Kids are grown, and hopefully out on their own.  Now, it's underwires, Spanx, and flat shoes for some, while others try to recapture their youth as it is always fleeting. 

Speaking of SPANKS :)   Not Spanx,   I have a woman friend who works at Orchard Corset, New York. who has informed me that women of a certain age are re-experiencing the figure-shaping corsets of years gone by.  I was told not the type you see at Victoria's Secret, but real old-fashioned lacing corsets meant to reduce the waist and increase the bust! The ladies are frequenting more intense shops as well, buying leather, latex, and PVC clothing and outfits.  Girdles are coming back into the under fashions as did with Spanx. 

HOW DO THESE THINGS RELATE TO PAIN?  Glad you asked!  Women for decades have willingly endured pain for the rights of Fashion.  Many fondly remember a thorough thrashing for crimes committed as parents saw it!  Some even claim that a good 'CRY" relieves stress and makes the heart grow fonder.   However, few me today would ever consider spanking their wives or GFs. That's where I have found my Niche!

My Niche began at 18, when my younger sister by 6 years stayed out late. A very bad thing to do as my mother put it! In her bedroom, my mother kept a razor strap handed down from her father.  That evening after dinner, my sister was ordered to go to her bedroom.  Sis knew what was about to transpire and began to tear up.  The sound of the strap on bare flesh, and the cries emanating from her room were like a delightful breath of air to me.  I heard the stap fall a dozen times and began to get a hard erection.  Days later I asked Sis about her strapping she proclaimed it did not hurt as bad as she had anticipated but it left her butt aching and warm.  At 19, my girlfriend and I conversed and she too confided that although it had been two years since her father used his belt on her, she too said it was more of the humiliation than the whipping! 

I have seen my children being born as well as most of my grandchildren, and see what a woman goes through to bring forth a new life to this earth.  PAIN which would (in my opinion) few men would contemplate or understand. What is even more amazing - many women do it time after time!  

Now back to my story.   My girlfriend and I at 19 argued as many people do.  I was mad and jealous as hell over what I recall her going out with a young man she also knew. Although she confessed that nothing happened I was ready to break our ties.  This is the point where she said " If you want to spank me for not telling you first and Jack, I would rather allow you to do so if it saves our relationship"   I felt my dick begin to harden and said to her " Yes, I feel that your punishment would be fitting!"   My parents had gone with my younger siblings to visit her brother, and the opportunity to Spank my woman was rife.  In my bedroom, I ordered her to drop her panties and lay on the bed. I got the strap from my parent's bedroom and showed it to my girl. She said she was ready and although I had a rock-hard penis already, gave her 8 swats with the strap to bring out howls and tears!  Although that was my first experience disciplining a woman, I loved it!   I do not consider myself to be a sadist, but I did enjoy the power play! 

Fast Forward again to 2020.   As time progressed and the decades flew by, I have enjoyed multiple relationships with women of all sizes, ethnicities, and social standings.  Married, single divorced, and as of late widowed ladies seeking something they miss in their lives.  Today as a DOMinant man, outspoken, confident, with the time, toys, and equipment to provide the girls with the ride they seek, I still get a nice erection when I administer a cane, whip, flogger, tawse, or even my hand to a nice bare bottom and listen to the howls of appreciation while later kissing away their tears.  Of course, some need to be strapped or tied well in order to achieve both of our goals. I have learned that clips, clamps, gags, harnesses, hoods, corsets, cuffs, steel leather, and rubber toys greatly enhance the suffering they seek out.  How does a woman who just endured a nice harsh whipping get her pussy that wet, I may never fully understand?

The one Judge still sitting on the bench and I have been friends now for 2 decades. She still comes into town twice a year for a weekend before flying on to Florida for a "Needed Vacation" and visit with her family.  I look forward to providing her my best scene as a prisoner, often kept restrained, used, and lovingly abused - while her husband goes hunting with his buddies.  A man who appreciates women is in turn trusted and appreciated by the ladies as well!  

I have asked some of the married ladies how they explain bruises to their husbands.  Answers are: I bump into things a lot, fell down on the ice, was hit by a car door, fell off of the gator, missed a step on the stairs, and some say he never looks at my butt anymore anyway!  :)

Pain can be bad, good, or just delightful, but women are better at handling it!   This still amazes me, does it you too?

As with any prolonged relationship between man and woman, we need to keep rediscovering each other and our independent wants/needs.  We are all too often enthralled in a relationship which lasted for some years, but  begins to falter due to one or both partners becoming complacent. Complacency can begin by one or the other becoming expectant or even demanding in the sense of certain jobs, tasks, performance, or even emotions.  

As a DOM taking on the role of physical and mental ownership of a woman can be an ongoing chore in order to meet her expectations.  For many women who today have demanding positions of authority at their workplace the RELEASE they seek in the arms of their Dominant is paramount to her psychological and emotional needs.  I have had my slave (wife at the time)  come home in tears from the stress which was created by her position at work, her continuing education, traffic home, and to some extent dealing with her millennial, adult children's own problems.  

The only release for her was to shun off her clothing take a shower upon her return home and either choose to eat a ready-cooked meal or go directly to our basement dungeon.   As a Dom, it was up to me to decipher and decode the signals she portrayed which would lead to an actual play or punishment session.  I recall this special evening when she was mentally upset, in fact, drained due to her own supervisor's physical advances. She had informed me that she had to shut her down, all along fearing a future reprisal for her needed action.  STRESSFUL! 

That evening she wanted a hard cry - nothing more, and nothing less.   As her DOM. lover, and husband, sometimes it becomes a chore to cater to her need for pain.  Most of us Dominants cannot help ourselves from feeling some remorse for the infliction of great suffering upon our lovers.  Unless you are a hard-core sadist, few gain any pleasure from her muffled screams, cries, and protests.   Safe signals and words remain in place and it is up to us as owners to cater carefully to these if used. 

When the hour or so was over, and her butt, and upper thighs, were well marked by my single tails and strap, I left her strapped down, removed her gag, and removed the mirror which had allowed her to see herself during her needed punishment.  Although she asked to be left strapped as she was, I'd released her ankles and gave her a drink of cool water.  It is difficult to know exactly what she was feeling after the fact, which was not conveyed until we both got into bed later that night. She put her head on my chest and said '"THANK YOU Master" , with a tear in her eyes.  Before we drifted off to sleep, I put her favorite collar around her neck and held on the leash. 

Unfortunately, after many years our individual desires took different paths and we divorced as she escalated higher in the corporate world. For me being retired, and at home most of my day, I found it stressful just listening to the details of her day, which all too often had also become repetitive. Her days at work were highly unpredictable from day to day. 

I too have become complacent today with the COVID restrictions.  COVID-19 restrictions have been imposed upon our personal freedom and ability to get out on the town.   Friends have stayed away fearing this virus.  Meeting up with others over dinner, or a drink has been socially brought to a STOP. Face-to-face dating has been remanded to ZOOM, Facetime and other forms of interpersonal contact I still to this day do not know all the why, when, or how the paths of our life parted.  All I will say is that I am happy for her, and always will behold loving feelings for this woman and the time we shared together.    Somewhere our relationship became a victim of our Failure to Thrive!   Both of these human faults are Duly Noted!

As with any prolonged relationship between man and woman, we need to keep rediscovering each other and our independent wants/needs.  We are all too often enthralled in a relationship which has lasted for some years but begins to falter due to one or both partners becoming complacent. Complacency can begin by one or the other becoming expectant or demanding in the sense of certain jobs, tasks, performance, or even emotions.  

As a DOM taking on the role of physical and mental ownership of a woman can be an ongoing chore in order to meet her daily expectations.  For many women who today have demanding positions of authority at their workplaces, the RELEASE they seek in the arms of their Dominant is paramount to her psychological and emotional needs.  I have had my slave (wife at the time)  come home in tears from the stress which was created by her position at work, her continuing education, traffic home, and to some extent dealing with her millennial, adult children's own problems.  

The only release for her was to take off her clothing, take a shower upon her return home, and either choose to eat a ready-cooked meal, or go directly to our basement dungeon.   As a Dom, it is was up to me to decipher and decode the signals she portrayed which would lead to an actual play or her punishment session.  I recall such a  special evening where she was mentally upset, in fact drained due to her own supervisor's physical advances. She had informed me that she had to shut her down, all along fearing a future reprisal for her needed action.  STRESSULL! 

That evening she wanted a hard cry - nothing more, and nothing less.   As her DOM. lover, and husband sometimes it becomes a chore to cater to her need for pain.  Most of us Dominants cannot help ourselves from feeling some remorse for the infliction of great suffering upon our lovers.  Unless you are a hard core Sadist, few gain any pleasure from her muffled screams, cries, and protests.   Safe signals and words remain in place and it is up to us as owners to cater carefully to these if used. 

When the hour or so was over, and her butt, upper thighs, where well marked by my single tails and strap, I left her strapped down, removed her gag, and removed the mirror which had allowed her to see herself during her needed punishment.  Although she asked to be left strapped as she was, I' released her ankles and gave her a drink of cool water.  It is difficult to know exactly what she was feeling after the fact, which were not conveyed until we both got into bed that night. She put her head on my chest and said '"Thank you Master", with a tear in her eyes.  Before we drifted off to sleep, I placed her favorite collar around her neck, took the leash. 

Unfortunately, after many years our individual desires took different paths and we divorced as she escalated higher in the corporate world. I found it stressful just listening to the details of her day, which all too often have become repetitive. I recall her days at work were highly unpredictable from day to day. 

I too have become complacent with the COVID restrictions which have been imposed upon our personal freedoms and ability to get out on the town.  Friends have stayed away fearing this virus.  Meeting up with others over dinner, or a drink has been socially brought to a STOP. Face to face dating has been remanded to ZOOM, Facetime and other forms of interpersonal contacts,  I still to this day do not know all the why, where, or how the paths of our life parted.  All I will say is that I am happy for her, and always will have loving feelings for the woman. Somewhere our relationship became a victim of our Failure to Thrive!   Both of our human faults are Duly Noted!