Something I posted on another site a while ago... taken from a friend (@Clark-Kent)
If I like you, and if we clique and connect, I'm going to miss you. I'm going to text you "good morning" and "sweet dreams." You're going to cross my mind during the day, and when I think of you, I'm going to tell you.
But I'm only going to do so for as long as I'm welcome. I understand that poly can be a lot to take in. Talk to me about it. Ask questions. But when I'm being sweet and perhaps sappy, if that's met with doubt, I'm eventually going to stop. When I say something sweet and it's met with doubt because I have other relationships, that isn't going to encourage me to continue. There's a fine line between asking if I mean it because you want assurance and insisting that I simply can't mean it or don't mean what I say because I see other people. Maintaining that I'm insincere because I have other relationships- it feels like being called a liar.
If I say things to remind you that you're beautiful and wanted, it's because I think you're beautiful, and I want you. There's no hidden meaning. No subtext. I say what I mean and mean what I say.
Do I say the similar things to other women in my life? Of course. I'm not pasting the same message over and over. But I say what I feel, when I feel it.
But imagine if I didn't tell my wife and submissive that I miss them and remind them why I care about them because I miss you and am interested in you. If I were sweet to them until someone else came along, then that would be the pinnacle of insincerity.
I know it can be hard to trust. Sometimes we wonder if someone is going to be interested for only so long and then lose interest. It's good to be cautious, but if you're convinced that's what's going to happen, it probably will. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy with not just me but others as well. Because when you insist that's who I am, I no longer feel welcome. It pushes people away. I've heard this a lot, from a lot of people: "It's just what I've come to expect because it's what always happens." If it's always what happens, it could be, in part, because it's what you've grown to expect. I'm not saying every time. But if you expect something strongly every time, it's going to happen.
I'm poly. I used to think there was something wrong with me. I sometimes still do. I love who I love, but that love doesn't create any roadblock in my mind or heart to being drawn to someone else. That's how I am. It's not going to change. I'm not for everyone. I get it. I understand. And if it's not for you, I'm okay with that. But know that I mean what I say. I'm not poly because my other relationships are unfulfilling. Being poly and sweet to others doesn't mean I'm insincere.
Bravo @Clark_Kent_ very well said indeed. :-)
