Inkling

Developing a new mindset

Explaining my day with someOne

5 months ago. November 22, 2023 at 1:04 PM

How do I tell people that my day was just fine?

It’s the time of year when I have to see both regular and irregular family. The distant ones will be no big deal to talk to, it’s the close ones that I’m going to struggle with. I don’t know what to say when they ask me what’s new. I want to be honest, being an open book is very healing to me, but there are some boundaries I have to form when merging these worlds. I tend to ramble so I don’t necessarily trust myself to give some details but not enough for others to connect any dots. I fear that I’m going to end up lying somehow, and dishonesty is so abhorrent to me at the moment. I’m being honest with myself like never before; it goes against my new rules of life.

I blame this post-Puritan, American culture. Sexual freedom is a big no-no here. How are we to control the people if they understand their bodies? A lot of us lack the words to express these things and even fewer of us have the bravery. I’ve only had a little time to adjust myself to this world but already I’m bracing myself for public rejection. I think I can handle the conversation but not the idea that my people will pull away.

Thanks for reading.

K y i v - "post-Puritan, American culture. Sexual freedom" ..... That is an interesting concept. I do believe we boomers liberated that in the 60s. Yes there are pockets of resistance in some parts of the country.

I curate, family, friends... Not all need to know everything. That is not a lie. Some things may slip out but rarely are the dots connected. Those who are close know. Most know that I an just a pleasant man.

5 months ago

Inkling - I'll get into the Puritan influences later. I was raised by someone in the shadow of Catholicism, where I think a lot of the evidence lies. lol
Agh, the curation! The best relationships are forged with work.

5 months ago

SirBuck(dom male) - Hello, sorry for the late response but I just came across this 🤪
But as far as saying your day is just fine. Say it's good instead, when most people hear done, what they really hear is it was bad. But if you say it was good. Many seem to follow the mindset of "if nothing bad happened then it was good". So if they ask what made it good, just say that nothing happened to make it bad. That's just what I do and have found it works better than saying fine and "digging my heals in" with that answer.
With the sharing too much. I agree with Kyiv above. Not everyone needs to know everything. Those you tell and just listen, will also understand when you say the "obvious" line of, "this is just between us and I won't want to talk about it in front of other people"...or something along that line. But there's nothing wrong with keeping private parts of your life private, and only sharing with the few.

5 months ago

WhatamIfightingfor(dom male) - There is an old saying "Only two people don't have sex, children and parents ". For a long time it is normal, very normal to keep some matters private because it raises uncomfortable questions, and thoughts.

5 months ago

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