brain dump.

Recently, I had yet another experience in which I saw the power that words held. I was able to speak life into something that I did not want to happen. Luckily, it wasn't disastrous. In fact, quite the opposite. The point is, though, I created this thing. This event. I spoke something out loud, and someone, something, heard me. 

What would happen if I started speaking about things I did want to happen?

What would happen if I spoke life into myself?

Oftentimes, I sit in a pool of uncertainty. A pool of self-doubt. A pool of insecurity. I speak life, give energy, to things that make me tired. Or, make me feel down. I can be very self-deprecating. My self-talk rivals abuse. I am my own bully and victim. 

But again, I am seeing this power. 

What would happen if I learned to wield this power correctly?

Do you think I'd be able to free myself, from myself?

-✨

There are times when consistency actually hurts. There are things that I always do that hurt. There are things that are always done to me that hurt.

I sing praises about consistency all the time. Inconsistencies are no stranger to me. Within people, places, things. Therefore, when I see something repeatedly, I admire it. Because it's still here. It hasn't went anywhere. It's still standing. 

Now, though, I'm having this thought. It's still here.

Again.

Again.

Again.

-✨

Not that long ago, I was found.

I was found tucked away, hidden in the furthest part of the room. Unheard. Unseen. I was surrounded by people, and yet no one seemed to know I was there.

He found me sitting with my back to the wall, knees hiked up to my chest, arms wrapped tightly around my legs, and head resting on top. He found me tucked into the smallest ball that my limbs could form.

I saw His feet first. He maneuvered perfectly throughout the space. He moved with such confidence, certainty in every step. I was so impressed by Him, that I didn’t realize He was heading directly towards me until He stood before me.

Not that long ago, I was found. At least, that’s the story I tell myself. The truth?

Not that long ago, I was taken.

-✨