The Culture that has been here all the time

Hello to my readers,

Most of you know I am the sole caregiver for my wife, who has cognitive issues. Since my caregiving became the most intense and intricate, I have learned much—some from share groups, some from literature, and others from other sources. The one thing I wish to share today is a discovery that has made all the difference in how I feel about my taking care of her. Her disease destroyed much, and the toll on intimacy seemed to be among the first issues in relationships with friends and family. Since I never gave up, I have learned important lessons.

She has aphasia but understands much more than anyone imagined.

She was a woman who regarded touch as her primary mode of communication, and that remains true.

Dementia allows the sufferer to read body language, and she often strokes my head or back on a bad day for me.

Now that I have this knowledge, I am careful about how I take care of her physically. I brush her hair 101 times in the morning, and she seems to enjoy that. Of course, she can be rebellious as most Alzheimer's patients with baths and dressing, but with care, I can minimize the negative interactions. I also no longer give her the drug that is intended to reduce the angry type of mood. Instead, I hug, kiss, and tell her I love her, and her negative state diminishes, and there is no groggy-like after-effect from a med.

Now, here is my thought. I know she has never been a woman who used much makeup, but she did care about her appearance, and she seemed to enjoy me brushing her hair. She often looks at herself in the mirror, sometimes uttering words affected by aphasia. I want to try applying a little makeup on her face (no more than she ever applied herself) and observe her reaction. I already apply college cream to dry skin, and she has no problem with me doing that.

Do any of you have any experience along these lines? It is a form of intimacy with intrinsic benefits for her and me.

To Friends and Acquaintances,

Do you get tired of a lover? Do you tire quickly, or does it depend on something? Kinky folks should have an edge on avoiding getting bored with a lover. Isn't that true? There should always be something new to try: a position, a location, a toy, or a situation. Am I right to assume this?

What does love have to do with it? What about personality? Is it more than sex?

I have gotten tired or bored with a lover quickly sometimes (almost immediately), but three years, seven years and forty years worked for me with a significant other.

It would be best if you let go sometimes.

Yes, folks, it is possible that pathogens can come from space—not from a Science Fiction Novel, either.

GOOGLED:Some viruses can survive in space-like conditions, such as low pressure, low temperature, and interstellar radiation. These viruses can include:
Tobacco mosaic virus: Can be crystallized to protect it from cold, desiccation, and vacuum. It has survived simulated cosmic rays that are equivalent to 250 years of exposure.
Poliovirus: Has remained infectious after exposure to space-like environments during rocket and high-altitude balloon rides.
Bacteriophage T1: Has maintained infectivity after exposure to space-like conditions. 

Other viruses that have been found in space include: papillomaviruses, herpesviruses, and adenoviruses.  
Some viruses can also become reactive during spaceflight due to stressors, such as latent viruses like herpes. However, one analysis suggests that pathogenic viruses are unlikely to cause significant health problems on short-term space missions.  

https://tinyurl.com/e2me2879

Yes, folks, things are looking up. I do not need blood transfusions; a simple iron supplement corrected the trouble.

I received a physical birthday card from one of my brothers and sister-in-law, along with a $1 token gift, so I can not say I don't receive cards and gifts.

My review of physics is going very well. Building a cloud chamber to see cosmic ray trail in supersaturated gas. Soon, I will address where I stopped my calculus lessons. Algebra, Logic, and Boolean Algebra (used to design digital circuits ) are my forte, so advanced geometry and calculus will be addressed soon.

I am still a human male and love sex, but not at the expense of my relationship with my cognitively impaired wife. Life will just have to be what it is for me now (at least for the time being).

Hello all,

I was a trusting person, so I have been fooled, taken advantage of, and had financial challenges. For most of my life, the violations were not terrible, and I eventually realized why I was in a position I would not choose to be in and recovered. Learning experiences?

Finally, I know better now: I trust with much caution. For about a year, I searched for a companion helper (not a nurse for my wife), and I trusted women who promised to be Friends With Benefits. They would alleviate the intense caregiving I provide for my wife by being a comforter for me and helping with things in general. I was ignorant or simply darn right stupid. I trusted and paid for them to come in advance but did not verify their sincerity and validity: those several women turned out to be scammers.

Now? I have given up on the hope of finding a companion like that. If there is a chance, I see the odds as one in a hundred to be worth trusting that woman. Yes, I have emotional and financial scars. Will I recover? Financially? It will take time. Emotionally, I can not be sure.

I was watching a TV detective show, and the detective said a line that made me think: "A liar thinks everyone lies." Having been scammed one too many times, I fear I will think an amiable woman who befriends me is a scammer until proven otherwise. I suppose she will have to understand and be a special kind of person.

Meanwhile, I cherish the fact I still have my wife with me, as cognitively diminished as she is despite the hard work in caring for her.

Hello all,

The fast Google result to what sexual tension is:

Sexual tension is a social phenomenon that occurs when two people interact and feel sexual desire for each other, but the interaction doesn't lead to sexual activity. It can be a powerful experience that manifests in physical reactions, such as a flip in the stomach. Sexual tension can be positive or negative:

 

I find this a pleasant feeling, no matter what the result. There could be negatives if expectations are too high for the situation or the progression appears as a form of rejection.

With my wife ill and my tendency to miss a normal relationship, just spending time with a woman can be a good thing for me. The interaction reassures me that I can still interact as a man with all my traits and a woman with all a woman's sensibilities. Sadly I have fery few opportunities for this happening. No, it is not that I expect that every woman I meet will like me or feel sexual tension, but the few moments can awaken sleeping feelings within me.

A conversation, a walk, or sharing a few moments over a cup of tea or coffee is sufficient to promote good feelings within me.

Realize it or not, we read each other: body language, innuendo (even unintended), subtle chemistry, even brushing touch.

When you have such moments, cherish them for their intrinsic value, especially without expectations.

Hello Blog Readers,

I confessed living without sex because my wife has cognizant issues has been hare even caused trouble for me. I vowed to give up thinking about sex, and it works, but only for so long, and when my libido ambushes me, it creates emotional havoc. I put the sector back in the bottle and try to ignore my desire, but it seems like a losing battle and fantasies and dreams sneak into my imagination.

I am weathering the storms mostly, but the availability of erotica online is so alluring.  I imagine a woman will knock on my door one evening when my wife is asleep and enter my home and seduce me. It becomes a kinky, experimental sexual fantasy that lingers.

My research teaches me that masturbation can be helpful but not at all as satisfying as sex with a real woman. The research emphasizes that having a fulfilling sex life is a healthy thing. It yields many physical and mental benefits. That is how it is these days folks.

I wanted to celebrate my birthday at the end of the month with a kinky sex session, and I don't have a partner. I guess I will just watch TV after reading and having my sick wife tucked in for the night and be satisfied with that. Jim

PS Thinking about this is counterproductive, I know.

Hello, friends and acquaintances.

I have blogged directly and indirectly about the consequences of 24/7 caregiving for my wife with cognitive impairment (severe now) and lamented about things I missed and wrestled with the lack of intimacy for example. Yes, I still would enjoy a sexual relationship if I had a chance for it, and I even would explore my kinkier side along the way. Right now, I have realized what I miss the most though: Companionship with my wife and the ability to share many interests and activities. We were sexually compatible, living as Dom and sub (wife) for about forty years, but in many things, we were opposites. 

She was not intellectually inclined, and I am: her IQ and mine were way out on opposite sides of the scale. We liked music, animals, long drives, the ocean, and some food. She was not creative but supported all my creative experiments and my quests for knowledge.

It is frustrating to have her in body and without much cognitive ability and no interest in sex. But I am getting used to it. I am learning not to dwell on the absence of having a sexual partner. I am no longer allowing myself to be the victim of scammers, and I am working to repair the financial damage they have inflicted on my finances.

Burying myself in cosmology as it is now (getting up to date) and watching some television programs, like British TV and old movies, gets me through each day. I also do a lot of cooking to improve our diets.

I pray for a miracle cure for my wife, though logically, that appears to be very unlikely.

Yes, friends and acquaintances, I am adapting to my current reality. I am virtually alone but not lonely. I seldom interact with very few people, and I find that that is OK. My wife is lost in her cognitive demise and unable to use words on any level (read, write, hear, or speak), yet I am able to have a semblance of communicative interaction with touch and body language.  I am learning to be grateful for this. The early morning and late evening are my times for household functions, reading, and limited television. My wife seems to hold a grudge against my guitars and computer, so I take appropriate measures to protect them.

My return to Physics and keeping up-to-date on the latest developments by reading The Cosmic Code by Sophie Domingues-Montanari, PHD (C) 2024, and some programming available brings me joy. It is the closest thing to having fun for me in at least four years.

My mind is as alive as ever and I am about to arrive at seventy-seven years old at the end of the month. Something I am grateful for BTW. Jim