Online now
Online now

The Culture that has been here all the time

When I studied to acquire my Master's status I discovered the M/S relationship existed probably for all the history of humans. Religion and Western Culture distort this greatly. Using codes and euphemisms even denial masks it presents the fact many people thrive within this often unrecognized subculture. For example, my wife had all the earmarks of a pleasure slave and was generally devoted and submissive to me. In times of marriage friction, I often heard the words from a counselor, "She just wants you to love her" "Love her" I thought I was and did now I know without a doubt I need to be a master, not some preconceived idea we are to live as equals.
1 hour ago. May 30, 2024 at 1:48 PM

Yes, Friend, no matter who we are, we age and eventually get old,

I see now the loneliness epidemic for older people is a worldwide phenomenon. In this culture (BDSM), I thought it would be less of an issue, but I suspect I was wrong. Loneliness as we age is indiscriminate and has become a global problem.

"Loneliness and social isolation are widespread social issues that affect people of all ages, including older people, and have been called a "loneliness epidemic". According to a 2022–2023 Meta-Gallup survey, 17% of older adults (aged 65 and older) in 142 countries and territories reported feeling very or fairly lonely, which is lower than the overall rate of almost one in four people. However, the World Health Organization (WHO) estimates that 1 in 4 older people experience social isolation, and rates are similar across all regions of the world. " From a quick Google Search

Add to it when a significant other develops a cognitive disorder like Alzheimer's, it destroys the afflicted person and anyone close to them. Financially and socially.

It isn't easy to anticipate this and its effect when you are young, but believe me, when you get caught up in it, the results are devastating. All plans for your "Golden Age" vanish like the morning mist. Family and friends avoid you because 1) it may be hard for them to witness what is happening; 2) they cannot deal with the consequences; 3) they fear they will be asked to help with the emotional and financial risks in doing so.

I behaved like a wounded animal, twisting and turning in agony, lying on the ground, trying to come to terms with what was happening because of my wife's illness. 

I finally arrived at this paramount conclusion: Since we married, my wife and I have thought of ourselves as one entity. WE ARE IN THIS TOGETHER UNTIL WHATEVER THE END WILL BE.



16 hours ago. May 29, 2024 at 10:32 PM

After 76 years

I am not looking for a woman now, but all my wives and significant others had blue or green eyes, were slim to average in weight, petite or slightly taller, and were all-natural blondes. I don't say this indicates my type, but it says something about my preferences.


17 hours ago. May 29, 2024 at 9:54 PM


So you thought you would like to see if you have chemistry when you texted and eventually agreed to meet, but!

What if the person you meet is not your type, and you have trouble being turned on or staying turned on? 

How would you say I am sorry Babe, but you just are not my type.

Should you or could you be diplomatic? Should you or could you be blunt? Should you, or could you let it slide and just ghost them after you part?

Yes, it is your personal preference. I am just curious about what some people think is proper or acceptable.

ADDENDUM: I am not looking for a woman now, but all my wives and significant others had blue or green eyes, were slim to average in weight, petite or slightly taller, and were all-natural blondes. I don't say this indicates my type, but it says something about my preferences.



22 hours ago. May 29, 2024 at 4:30 PM

Hey, friends, I smoked for 25 years and stopped 25 years ago. Doctors told me my body was damaged and would never completely recover from smoking.



1 day ago. May 29, 2024 at 12:50 AM


There is no easy cure for loneliness when your social life is crippled. Negative experience breeds at least some misanthropy, and some misanthropy leads to isolation.  Online chats can not break isolation; the only safe solution is withdrawing into a shell. The shell is a comfort zone for me. I know I will probably remain in this state even when my wife passes. Perhaps until I reach my end. It is not hopeless because hopelessness implies there is some remnant of hope (less hope). I am now totally without hope.

I do not like to say I will never talk about anything good or bad, but I have no intention of looking for someone, family, or friends to trust truly. Trust is now past tense.  I once trusted too quickly. I used to trust, but now I can not allow myself that luxury.

Don't cry for me. I am in my comfort zone and glad that I am.

1 day ago. May 28, 2024 at 4:23 PM

Basic info Friends,

An Overview (Quick Google Search)
Learn more…
After orgasm, men and women experience different changes in libido and sexual arousal:
Men typically experience a refractory period, which is a time when they are not sexually responsive and cannot reach orgasm again. This period can last from minutes to days and usually lengthens with age. Men's sexual arousal and desire also decrease more quickly and consistently than women's. Prolactin, a hormone linked to sleepiness and sexual satisfaction, may temporarily decrease men's desire for sex by repressing dopamine, a chemical that's important for motivation and desire.
Women may experience a brief refractory period or none at all. Some women may be able to return to the orgasm phase and experience multiple orgasms with further sexual stimulation. Women's orgasmic pleasure is also linked to a decrease in genital temperature after orgasm, but they may maintain their sexual arousal and desire. Women also typically release more oxytocin than men during orgasm, which is a hormone that can help relieve pain and promote feelings of connection


I thought You Should Know.


2 days ago. May 28, 2024 at 1:19 PM

Hello Friends,

People have told me about "Kinkatopia," but no one knows where it is. Is it in a mountain valley like Shangrela?

It took less-than-perfect circumstances to bring me to a nice area of Pennsylvania, and it is more affordable than New Jersey, my native State. However, in my current situation, I relied on the risky business of seeking friends online, and it wasn't always a good experience.

People tell me about wonderful open spaces and a better life with natural settings, which is my preference, but though affordable, my finances won't support another move. (Three moves in the last three years have drained my finances, along with dubious choices that I have made.)

Now I am confronted by my old dreams when my wife and I sought to buy a new home in Maine, North Carolina, and Montana.

I heard that somewhere in a valley within the Rocky Mountains is a place called "Kinkatopia." Many kinksters are there and have searched in vain for this place. They say it is a small city with high mountains all around, and the peculiar aspect is that it can not be seen by aircraft or satellites. Locks and money are never needed; everyone there is honest and perfect as friends. They say clothes are optional, and all the people's needs come from the proceeds of a mine where many precious stones can be harvested. 

The Moody Blues band recorded a song about this place:


2 days ago. May 27, 2024 at 5:13 PM

Hello Friends,

I have lived long enough and have experienced so many challenges that on a sad day like today I repeat this as a mantra:

"This too shall pass" is a Persian adage that conveys the idea that life is impermanent and nothing lasts forever

Beginnings are so great, but many endings are not.


3 days ago. May 26, 2024 at 8:30 PM

Friends, I want to take a moment to honor my High School friend who served in the Marine Core during Vietnam and died in 1968 during the Battle of Khe Sanh. Westly White was a great athlete and a great person who was selfless and died for all of us in the defense of our country and his comrades. Let us not forget why we have Memorial Day.

He's on the Wall and the NJ Memorial et al:

3 days ago. May 26, 2024 at 4:23 PM

Friends, I now know who or what I am: I am strictly a caregiver for my wife. I am neither a Dom nor a Sub, just a blank* with my job to do as something almost like a male nurse. 

Fun and happiness are not in my vocabulary. I have no activities that give me respite. A little TV, a plant or two, some music, and a little time with my pets have value, but that is all.

Each day, I live in the past and see nothing in my future.

Acceptance has taken a long time, with harsh lessons learned along the way.

I will look into a form of senior housing on Tuesday where I can move with my wife on one floor and a minimum of house and yard work. During the VA Share Group meeting, I heard fellow caregivers refer to a VA option for housing (I'll see).