I had a dream. The dream was that I put together a kink party. Near the end of the dream, I was waiting near the front door for what seemed like endless hours. I finally gave in and realized by midnight, no one was going to come to my party.
Most of my life, I have practiced vanilla sex, but now I want to experiment and explore. The challenge is having a woman willing to help me experience new things. I am ready and willing. Still waiting for a lover.
Maybe a woman would enjoy me as their pet.
I would purr and rub up against her, lick her with affection, answer to my name, and come running, don't eat much, and be self-cleaning.
I would walk along with her and protect her, and I don't make much noise.
I can sleep with her and keep her warm while remaining vigilant for danger. pixabay.com
I see in the news all these men in politics having had paramours, concubines, escorts, and hookers. That indeed tells me why they are called men of privilege. Some committed sexual abuse and crime because they are so greedy.
The difference between them and me isn't just my respect for women but my low status and limited wealth in this society. Pixabay.com
I am so kinky and sex starved because my wife is rendered asexual with dementia, I fantasize all day that I have a kinky woman to play with and we go hog wild with kinky games, sucking, licking, tongue poking. I have several mats for squirters and I like a kinky woman who is horney.
Do playmate ads really work?
I have had potential in science, art, and music, but I would have done much better if I had my bipolar condition treated in the past, not this late in life. I have always had a consort to inspire and guide me, nevertheless. My current wife was fabulous, but dementia has destroyed our relationship. I abandoned creativity and a social life to care for her. I hope one day to have a muse to revive the creative spirit within me.
So I will be 78 in a couple of weeks. I asked myself what is different. Nothing. My wife is 70 and very ill, and I will seem to be in pretty good health, having defeated challenges years ago.
So I have made a birthday resolution: I no longer trust women under the age of 55.
I have set a goal for myself to learn every erogenous zone a woman has and stimulate them in every way agreeable to them. The only drawback? The most recent FWB is long gone, and though she was invaluable in my quest, when she moved on, she left me with an incomplete study. Will I ever pick up where I left off? No one knows, but I am optimistic (I think).
I had a dream last night about an adventurous woman who rang my doorbell and invited herself inside. We talked about a number of things to pass the time. After I fed my ill wife and got her into bed, I thought the woman would leave.
She led me up to the master bedroom and we began to embrace and kiss. She teased me for what seemed to be a long time, and when I couldn't take it anymore, I took off my clothes, and as I removed what she still had on, I kissed her whole body. Every time her pussy got soaking wet, she put it in my face and told me to lick up all the juice. I gladly did. When we playfully engaged in a 69, I licked and sucked on her clit as she moaned for a long time, then blurted out fuck me, fuck me. I was about to when my cat interrupted because it was time to get up and feed him.
I forgave my cat because he can't understand my predicament anyway.
pixabay.comI am still consumed by my caregiving for my wife, but she is either in a wheelchair or on the sofa bed. Wake her, prepare food, feed her, change her, and get her back on the sofa bed. Endless cycle that I keep doing because I love her. I can not tell if she loves me or not, however.
Seeking help can be overwhelming, and changes to healthcare in this country make it even more complicated. Even my Veterans' Benefits seem to be under threat, so when the time comes, I do not believe there is any hope for my old-age care.
I will be 78 in two weeks. Who wants an old man on their hands anyway?
Believe it or not, I am still able to care for my wife, our home, and our cat and dog, but joy has all but ebbed away completely.
Having kinky desires and a strong libido is a curse since I do not have any chance for a social life. No soothing touch. No warm embrace. No sexual release or satisfaction. (To masturbate is a hollow shadow for real intimacy I hate it)
I like the dialogue in the British TV shows that I watch over and over, when a character goes out looking for something and returns, and when asked, did he or she have success, and they respond, "No joy" when they return without success. pixabay.com
