The Culture that has been here all the time

So, friends, we all hope to find a perfect companion and lover, but is that realistic? My mother used to say a woman or a man should not expect that they could settle for someone and then make them comply with their expectations. That is not the same as having a good starting point and growing together based on trust, love, and desire.

You probably have seen characters in a movie or TV program who seem to have waited too long for a perfect mate and are living alone. Maybe that describes you? Or, you have read a novel or a story depicting a character in a similar situation.

Doesn't this phrase ring true?

In an elegy titled In Memoriam A.H.H., Lord, Alfred Tennyson wrote the line,

"Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”

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Don't wait too long.

Hey, readers, the more things change, the more they stay the same. Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr wrote “plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose”

Not long ago, stuck in my home with the internet as my only means of socializing, I learned a great deal about relationships. Words are powerful when used by someone who knows how to use them. This becomes even more powerful if that person can sense things about the person they are communicating with. If they have an agenda (an especially nefarious one), they are able to guide the person into almost anything. Yes, salespeople are good at that, but so are "scammers" after nothing more than your money and disguise that process with a romantic program. Yes, it is a program because it is nothing more than an act as an act on a stage. I fell into the snares more than once; two were exceptionally costly.

There is much more to express, but my focus is better spent on when we need the comfort of a companion, platonic, sexual, or a combination. Introductions in this modern day of instant communications that can be global may lead a seeker almost anywhere with an interest in nearly anyone. I have a motto after all my mistakes: "Beware, deception is all around you." Reaching back to a phrase President Ronald Reagan, from a Russian proverb, "Trust but verify," is also a good motto.

My thoughts today are that nothing is better than meeting face-to-face. There, you can experience chemistry, compatibility, nuances of attraction, and more information about a prospective companion or lover. I know nothing is guaranteed in this life. Even the best-arranged relationships can lead to tragic or heartbreaking endings. I retreat, but somehow, I always seem to come out of my shell in the future.

My second wife was "love at first sight." All went well for years. We had a son with a severe heart defect, and she, an RN, assumed he would meet an early demise, so she left with another man. My reactions to the situation hadn't helped; I buried myself in my music and performances with my band. Dark days and nights followed. Pardon my digression.

My current wife is ill and will not recover her lingering offers no clue for a medical prognosis. Forty years in a monogamous and fruitful relationship seems to have faded into the past and is so far removed that I find myself longing for a woman with average intellectual and sexual ability. The only way this can happen in my experience? I must meet her personally, and as I have often read in online texts, "We'll see how it goes."

Becoming friends is a good start, but I remain open to any scenario as I am seventy-seven years old, and time is not on my side.

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Oh yes, when all I have are my fantasies and memories, imagining using my mouth in an endless exploration of a woman is my way of getting solace. Her soft skin and tender muscles. Her nipples grow up to meet me. I gather her aroma and take it deep into my lungs as I explore. I can taste her just thinking about her. Her legs offer me a journey that ends with my flickering tongue on her clit. Before doing that, I French kiss her pussy and tease her anus with a light touch. I mumble this might take some time, my love, as I lick, flick, taste, and push my tongue in her pussy.

Now, what am I going to do? I'm going to watch TV as usual and dream that one day I can make love again.

Yes, we all have those mornings when we would rather stay in bed. I find it difficult because I have external forces that prevent me from staying under the covers (see).

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my cat Sunny Day can start to wake me as early as 4:30 a.m. LOL.

You all probably already know and believe sex is not only a part of our lives because of procreation, but it is, most importantly, it is part of a healthy life. I know it is important because I live in forced abstinence. Google AI fast answer to the question:

"Yes, sex is considered a natural and healthy part of life, with research indicating various physical and mental health benefits when practiced in a consensual and responsible manner, including stress reduction, improved mood, enhanced intimacy, and potential benefits for heart health."

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 Health Insurance only covers sex therapy exceptions:
If someone experiences sexual dysfunction due to a diagnosed medical condition, like erectile dysfunction or vaginismus, sex therapy may be covered by insurance as a form of mental health treatment

Should healthcare insurance cover sex like prescription drugs because it has so many benefits?

I lost track of where my cousin in Switzerland lives, so now she can not send me an airline ticket and an invitation to live there. If Tina Turner's old house is for sale, maybe I could buy it.

My readers, I do have time to think despite constantly engaged in caregiving on the level of a trained nurse.

Sub, Dom, Dom Sub, who teaches who? Both teach each other.

The term kinky covers a vast set of parameters - from oral sex to restraints, whips, and psychological aspects.

I believe we all have things to learn at all levels. The first task is to define boundaries, and the second is to outline likes and dislikes. Then, practice and adjustments in the kink adventure. While all this is primarily centered on the sexual role, each must consider life together in several other aspects. The greatest is companionship based on trust and love.

Mistakes will occur, so it is healthy to have a forgiving heart. Giving room to grow into a rewarding relationship will ensure a quality of life beyond what conventional relationships seem to demonstrate. Why? Because in the BSDM realm, openness and honesty prevail, or it becomes just another form of convention and is doomed to the same ends that those relationships often suffer.

Enjoy each other for as long as you can.

Jim

Blog readers, I did not feel well this morning when I went to get my mail. At the same time, my neighbor did the same.

She said, "You don't look well today, Jim."

I replied, "You are correct; I am not feeling well." She knew I liked animals and birds, so she tried to cheer me up by letting me pet one of her cats.

Then she said, "Look up in your backyard tree. Some chickens have perched there to keep an eye on you. Maybe they can cheer you."

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As I was looking up, I tried to take a picture of them with my cell phone,

but I got tripped by a rock and fell to the ground.

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Something we all need at times?

 Oxford Dictionary: the action of giving someone support, confidence, or hope.
"thank you for all your support and encouragement"

What if we do not have the support and encouragement we need? We either find a way to succeed or succumb to failure. I have failed to care for my wife lately: a fall and digestive tract issues. The hospital had no help despite many tests.

Sometimes, I do not know how I keep going with little if any, support and encouragement. A small voice tells me to keep going, not to give up, get up off the ground, knock the mud off my face, and try again. 

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There is a bugaboo. When I was young and optimistic, I peered into the tunnel of life, and it seemed there was light at the distant end. In these years now, when I peer into the tunnel of life, all I can see at the far end is a dark, foggy cloud.

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We are an integral part of the Universe made out of stardust, so it would be fitting to return to the stars, don't you agree?

Well, folks, age matters in several ways. Many of my contemporaries are not with us or are filed away in a nursing home, but I am still going on as I have for the last twenty years at seventy-seven years old. Is it luck? It must have something to do with my genes because I smoked, drank, and partied hard in the first half of my life.

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Then, for several decades, I reformed and led a sedate, then mostly boring life up until my wife became ill, and that stopped me in my tracks (that so far seems to be the end of my life for all practical purposes).

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Young women are physically very attractive, but older women are still sexy and have experience and wisdom so that I would spend time with either or both.

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I can dream, can I not?

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