The Culture that has been here all the time

We All Should Know Ourselves:

"Know thyself" (gnothi seauton) is an ancient Greek aphorism, famously inscribed at the Temple of Apollo at Delphi, urging individuals to understand their limitations, motivations, and true nature. It signifies the importance of internal reflection over surface observation, encompassing self-examination of passions, weaknesses, and recognizing oneself as a mortal rather than a god.

I was lost for about eight years to myself because I devoted all my focus and energy to caring for my wife during her cognitive decline. Now, on a storm-tossed sea, seeking refuge, I suddenly discover the answer has been within me all along. The shore I landed on was where I thrive creatively. I am back where I know how to live. I have immersed myself in my creative artwork.

Whether it was a song or a painting, I became one with the endeavour. The beautiful thing about this? My late wife knew it was my happy place.

Instead of sadness, I feel inspired. Like many artists, I have periods: some produce fine work, some fail, but I always learn from the effort.

Now? I suddenly realise Edward Hopper's work speaks volumes to me; maybe I will emulate his work, and it will become my "Edward Hopper" period.

I long for a muse more knowing that he had a longtime companion who helped him defeat his demons. Whether alone or with a companion, I shall venture forth. My little house is rapidly becoming my artist's studio LOL.

Hotel-by-a-Railroad-Edward-Hopper-1952

Public domain photograph of hotel lobby, free to use, no copyright restrictions image - Picryl description

Gathering my paintings and artwork that I haven't sold, maybe I will find a venue to display them, even the flea market outside of town on the main highway, when I am ready. Some of the new projects will be ready during the summer too.

Something to feel positive about in a sad time after my wife's passing.

If we met and felt drawn to each other, we could build a strong, lasting love that would weather any storm. Why? Because I have lived in many loves and endured many storms. I am not afraid of love; it is the best part of living a human being can have: The experience of deep love and commitment.

Reading the story of some famous artists who had a companion or a spouse as a muse is encouraging: a worthy goal for me. Since posting about painting the figures of women, I have learned there are at least two sources of photos of models that have already been cleared for use. These will serve as teaching tools but will not replace a woman who will be my companion and muse.

Voicing my desire to resume my painting and expand my subject matter to include nudes has resulted in several women contacting me, expressing their willingness to be my model and muse, none of whom are near enough to meet in person so far.

I would like a woman to model for my nudes to be a muse and inspire me at all levels, but in lieu of my finding one, the going rate for an art model in this State is $15 - $50 per hour, with a minimum of two hours paid even for less time. I have blank model release forms and all the art materials I need. I only lack a model. pixabay image

My late wife and I were not prudes; we chose some religious influences in raising our four children, and in this culture, it hadn't gone well. 

I have begun painting and drawing in general as I prepare to approach creating nude artwork. The mechanism of form and the choice of a palette are all in the works.

Songs are more personal, like deep poetry, but I want my art to be free. I love the female form and features, so I will devote my efforts to improving my art in that regard. I want to paint women of all body types, not just the overpraised thin models. Include details such as birthmarks and breasts of different sizes on the right and left sides. I have art books to begin my studies, but I hope to have real women as models when it becomes possible. All images pixabay.com

Even when I was young and throughout some of my adult life, I learned about the harsh realities of creative people. Since I was brought up mostly with encouragement in my artwork and songwriting, it was a jarring shock to learn that everything in this world has a political side. True, many can attain something equivalent to making a living, punctuated by times of just getting by. To become more than that requires more than luck but someone you know.

I learned "the ropes" in New York City's Greenwich Village by visiting centers for the performing and creative arts. I didn't like "prid quo pro."  The dislike of it stemmed from its seeming unfair and biased. And of course it was. Like it or not, that is how the world works.

I turned down chances to advance my songs and artwork because the people willing to back me had questionable backgrounds. Even some of my professionally successful compatriots warned me about some of them. 

So I have all my works and all of the pieces of the pie, but had I accepted the real-world solution, I would have had a smaller piece of a much bigger pie. Maybe.

No regrets, the negative side left many former friends in a bad place, even if they are still living.

My favorite artist is Vincent van Gogh, and his fame and success were established after his death through the efforts of his sister-in-law.

Johanna van Gogh-Bonger (1862–1925), the wife of Vincent’s brother Theo, was the primary promoter responsible for Van Gogh's posthumous fame. After inheriting his paintings in 1891, she organized key exhibitions, sold works strategically, and published his letters, building his legacy over 35 years and establishing his global recognition.

It has been a long while since I wrote about something scientific or mathematical on my blog. The recent "Scientists finally figured out the math behind how you see color."  see Scientists finally figured out the math behind how you see color:

The amazing thing is that the enhanced "Tetrachromacy is a rare condition where individuals possess four types of cone cells in their eyes instead of the usual three, allowing them to perceive roughly 100 times more colors—up to 100 million hues—and distinguish subtle shades others cannot. Primarily affecting women, this condition allows for enhanced sensitivity, particularly in the yellow-red spectrum". Look up Tetrachromacy.

What motivates me? Others, especially close friends. Now alone for the first time in almost fifty years, I am not moved to keep my house up to snuff. Never really been sloppy inside my home or yard (attic, garage, or basement maybe), but without a companion and no visits from anyone, I don't care. Another factor, when I bought this house about four years ago, it seemed to fit. Now that I am a widower for the first time, it is unimportant and lacks space for office and hobbies. Like René Magritte, I paint in the dining room. 

Reigniting my music and art is beginning to add clutter with associated stuff. Soon, new paintings will be scattered about.

I care more about my dog and cat now, too. My cat is a fusspot. He seems to ignore the cat fountain I bought for him and keeps to the old water bowl.

Yes, I am reaching out in search of a companion, but so far, there is no reason to be optimistic. (pixabay)

Working on a new song and a new painting after an eight-year hiatus, what surprises me? Like swimming or riding a bicycle, it's all coming back to me. The creative process is intimate and personal. I have the creative impulse to work out a starting point, begin refining, and adjust the work according to my inspiration. Sometimes I apply technical steps. I can revise the structure and harmony of a song and work with the painting palette of a favorite artist.

The whole process gives me an intrinsic reward. I have a mantra: "I am neither the best nor the worst artist." This pronouncement has nothing to do with my works, only my implicit sense of accomplishment. That is what it is all about after all.

I just reawakened. I didn't survive three marriages, several jobs, and failed businesses. I gained strength, knowledge, and self-control. I removed the cloak I was willing to keep wrapped around me to honor the commitment to my late wife because I was with her until her last moment. I now see that that is a definition of one of my successes in life, and I am glad that I have made it so and become this strong. It is time to exert my power and grasp life with a new fervor.

I resumed guitar playing and singing, and even wrote two new songs. Now to work on them for publication, as I had before I willingly became a caregiver. I still collect royalties and hold a publishing license. I write, arrange, produce, and master using my abilities and skills.

I dusted off some of my artist materials and supplies (even bought a couple of things I needed). Sketched a charcoal face of my late wife, plan an oil color project of tiny wild flowers, and intend to draw and paint nudes now that I can without complication.

This past week, I overcame the loss of money because I made the mistake and let nefarious and devious people take advantage of me(thinking they were women, but they may actually have been men masquerading). 

My childhood should have warned me, as I ran away from home at 15 and became streetwise in New York City. Still finishing High School, tech school, and even most of College with honors. I even enlisted and served with honors in the US Army. I managed stores, led music groups, and supervised a technical staff at a university media center. Survived a failed heart without a transplant, and at 78, ready to start everything all over again.

I am not bragging I am voicing a commitment to rise from the ashes once more like a Phoenix. (pixabay images) (Yes I am a Leo)