Kajisun, the middle that takes a lickin and keeps on ticking

Me as a Middle, are you a different type of submissive? Do you feel you might be a little/middle with similar needs?

As a middle, I find myself mixed in with all submissives and some D's not really seeing a difference. I am not an age player or a general submissive. For me, I feel like there needs to be more care taken because as a middle, I have a younger heart along with many portions of my mind than those who are not middle/littles.

As an adult, I know my body has the sexual needs of an adult. I need that passion and roughness, the pleasing and being pleased, and in general, ravaging me while sating the needs and possible fetishes of my Daddy. I need the softness after the storm of a session, I need my Daddy telling me I did a very good job in doing what he asked of or told me to do during sex. I need more physical, mental, and emotional contact from Daddy or a potential Daddy at the moment, because I need more reassurance that being me is what my Daddy actually wants, what he needs. Not just in the aftercare session, but through out the day. NOT just someone to talk about sex and having sex with, but a 24/7 DYNAMIC.

I personally feel more like I have a middle school personality and heart; it is the essence of who I am. When I have to adult, I don't really change who I am, it's more like I change my hat. Similar to a kid who loves to play and relax with hobbies, they also know that chores/work must be done to be a productive person in the household. As an adult, I have the knowledge to know what needs to be done, which is darn near everything, and how to do "chores" in my own most efficient way. As a middle, I would rather be guided as to what chores I would be responsible for, my Daddy's guidance in how he would like them to be done including favorite meals, and if I get overwhelmed, that I will have a Daddy to help me get back on track. I need the Daddy to be strong enough to teach me a lesson when I misbehave or punish me when I act out willingly with disobedience. I need him to make me eat healthy, I need him to keep me in line to do what is best for my health.Maybe that part is regular D? Sensual is nice, but I need the other rougher more stern side too.

I need more patience at times from my Daddy because I can be really emotional especially if I did something wrong on accident. If I'm really trying hard on doing something to please Daddy, but I'm failing whatever training I'm trying to complete. I work so hard and the disappointment is jarring when I don't get it just right. I need a good amount of time with my Daddy around. This is me keeping in mind that working is a necessity and am not asking for him to go part time or anything silly like that. Kind of like how kids always want to be around and hanging out with parents until they turn into a 15+ teenager then you don't exist lol. I want him to read to me, give me baths and, play with my hair, watch an anime movie with me. If we had people over, I like to play card or board games. My psyche needs closeness without judgement. Attention without being burdensome.

Further, my well-being needs more thought put into it as well. It seems as if I don't have just adult worries and needs like paying the bills, working, or being street smart; unfortunately, I have my kid heart and brain worries as well. Like will I be kept safe from others that may mean me harm, and will Daddy give me a stable and consistent home to live in?   

I have the intelligence to know what I want, and what I need. To know where I'm weak and where I am strong. I not only know who I was, I know who I am at this moment in time, and where I want to go.  I just don't know when anything is going to finally take off for me, or why I am the way I am, in that I need this dynamic. I feel overwhelmed in this vanilla world where everything is wild and running amok. Always trying to be the perfect adult and having the stress and responsibilities of working, handling all household duties, being an adult/parent/step-parent on my shoulders. Luckily H helps a lot with his kids. Can you imagine all this on a young heart?

I have been seeing a lot of profiles both on here and other sites like Fetlife, and speaking to D types that use the term interchangeably. Many of the D Types I spoke to would basically be expecting the s type person to give everything up and over like within a TPE, but would just say they were looking for a submissive.

Granted the slave is technically a submissive, but a submissive doesn’t have to be a slave.I do understand that a number of titles can be under the submissive umbrella, but a submissive slave would not be the same as a submissive little or a general submissive. I get people see things differently, but I wholeheartedly don't believe a slave, and a general submissive are interchangeable.

With a general submissive, in my understanding, they have more autonomy and ability to negotiate more before and within the relationship. This includes the relationship being more open to change if the submissive realized that certain things were damaging to their mental health, maybe the submissive would want more/less tasks, or maybe kids growing into a different age range is taking a toll more than it was before. There can be a wide variety of things that can happen and a straight submissive would have more power than a slave in re-negotiations. They would also have more power during their day in what order to take care of tasks given to do, if they want to work, what they do in their free time, or where they go as long as the D type is getting what he needs in the dynamic and is under the terms of the contract.

In my understanding, for slaves there are discussions to negotiate, but once discussions are done and set, then complete power goes over to the D type, and that is it, no further negotiations unless the Master has allowed it to some degree. Slave types are generally not really given any or very little autonomy, and the negotiations can be extremely thorough so there isn't much reason for re-negotiations. I feel slave's lives in general are micromanaged almost entirely. Master says "Jump" and the slave asks "How high". Hmmm or they may already know how high because it has already been negotiated.

In some cases, their Master may give them more autonomy, but it really depends on the relationship, whether there are multiple roles within the dynamic, or what the Master needs in general.

I have seen it mentioned here on the cage as well as other sites, that some see slaves as being brainless or having no personality, and while I don't think this is the case, I think that maybe for the most part, that may be just what the slaves want to do. They very well could be extremely intelligent, but maybe they need to relax apart from the pressure that is in their life. They don't have to think about what they are doing because their Master has already told the slave what they are going to be doing at all times. For example, when they use the bathroom, when they eat, when they need to be a table or topless as a party favor for their guests, or just when they need to sit on the floor and wait for a command. Slaves don't have think about what people think unless it would be displeasing to their Master, nor worry about money or how they dress because it is all up to their Master's pleasure. They don't have to think a bunch because it has already been worked out that all they need to worry about is pleasing their Master. I think some thinking has to come in memorizing what the Master wants and predicting what would please him most. As most hopefully know though, not all dynamics are the same, but I really feel that is what is different between slaves and submissive. I could be wrong, but that is also why I ask different people, read, or watch videos because it gives me a better perspective of what the BDSM dynamics look like in real world applications.

I would also respectfully disagree with those who have mentioned that a collar is what turns a submissive into a slave. From various perspectives that I have been reading through, a collar could symbolize a slave giving up all control to his/her Master, but it could also mean that as a person on the "s" side of the slash, they are taken and no longer available to the dating pool, not necessarily a slave. I have heard/read that a collar in that situation can be almost like a marriage to them or even seen as more important than a marriage, rather than just the decision to turn a submissive into a slave.